Husband works 2 jobs, wife is stay at home mom..?

Question

i work 2 jobs I leave the house at 1:30 a.m. for a part time job, get back home at 6:00 a.m. shower and leave for my main job and get home at 6:00 p.m. i try to spend some time with my 2 and 8 month old sons and be in bed by 8:00 p.m. If i fall asleep IMMEDIATLY i get 5 hours of sleep a night. With out going further what should I expect to be done at home, ie laundry, dishes, general cleaning, meals, sex.., and the part time job is 7 days a week. so what about weekends when "SHE NEEDS A BREAK"

thanks for all the great help...what about our sex life ..she is always exhausted...or not in the mood or 1 of 10 different reasons ..sex 4 times since son was born 7 MONTHS AGO.....i try to be romantic send her emails...have the kids draw her pictures..grab her butt now and then to let her know hey i like it... i know im a "GUY" and all we think about is sex but I might start looking else where if i cant find it at home...

Answer 1

Dang!

Wow, that's quite a mess....
First off....
It'll get easier in time, when the children are a little older...
Please don't think that she sits home all day and does nothing (unless that's what she is doing)

What you should expect....ok.....A wife that is very tired at the end of the day, but still happy to see you ...supper is ready most nights of the week....the kids are for the most part in good order and happy, although it wont always be that way every night.....the house relatively straight, cept for toys and baby items.....an understanding between the 2 of you that this situation is only temporary and *will* get easier soon.....

What I'm trying to say is.....only "expect" those things that are truly important..and don't get all wound up if occasionally something isn't done....or cooked, or cleaned....

And bless your heart for working all those hours! maybe you could see if you could cut out that part time job? you need some sleep......seriously.....you won't be able to function (happily) on 5 hours much longer.....

Answer 2

God bless you. If you were my husband I would have all those things taken care of when you came home. (My husband is a hard worker himself, I try and do my part even though I have always had a job as well. We both work and have a baby and one on the way) Anyway, expecting at least a decent house, the children taken care of and OK, as long as she makes sure you have what you need, then all is good. Coming home to a woman who has spent the day doing nothing and the kids are a mess is not good news of course.

In my opinion, if you could, take a few days off and try to find something that could replace both those jobs (higher pay) or at least one of them. Your hours are brutal, and it might be doing more harm to your family then you might realize. If that is just not an option, then I wish the best of luck to you and your family.

Have a great day!

Answer 3

Your kids are close in age! Dealing with two kids whom are still in diapers is very demanding. Hearing the both of them cry & scream at the same time can have anyone's nerves rattled. I'd say she does need a break! My two are less than 2 yrs. apart, but I remember what it was like when they were the same age as your children. Talk about nervous breakdown! I will say you sound like a devoted husband & father whom is willing to do anything to support your family. YOU need a break as well. I can't even imagine working that hard! What I have found is that if you two can find another couple who is in a similar situation, you can trade off the kids every now & then. Even if it's only one hour or two. The quiet can be deafening! Talk to your wife about this. Tell her you understand she needs a break & tell her to start networking with some friends or family! You'll be amazed at the difference!

Answer 4

It isn't unreasonable of you to expect a clean house, clean clothes, and a homecooked meal once in a while....but the other poster was correct. Motherhood is a 24/7 job, no sick days, time off, etc....she needs time as well.
Maybe you (as a family) could find some ways to cut back on spending so the second job wouldn't be necessary?

Answer 5

If she doesn't work I'd say pretty much everything in the house is her job as you have 2 jobs so she should think of her housekeeping and raising of children as equal. I am a woman and I think its only fair seeing he is putting in 110% to get 110% back from the wife. and instead of being resentful that "she needs a break" understand that she does! and works as hard as you and you two maybe take a together even if its just out to dinner... send the kids to Gramma's

Answer 6

Motherhood is a 24/7 job. You both need a break on the weekends. How about a babysitter occasionally on the weekends?

Answer 7

this is just a suggestion, but why doesn't she get a part time job so you can spend more time with you kids and she can get a break from the kids. i know that you want one parent home with the kids, but you are missing out on your children's lives by being gone all the time. and i'm sure that she is going nuts having to be with them all the time. just a thought.

Answer 8

It's between you and your wife. There is no set standard as to who should do what. However, you are working yourself to death. How about you ditch the part-time job, and mom takes up a part-time job? I think the both of you will be happier that way.

Answer 9

Sounds like your wife is abusing you. If things were the other way round they would call it abuse. You are ruining your health for what man ? Dump the second job and live within that. If she don't like it she don't love you, period. You need to know these things so you can live you life on an informed basis.

Answer 10

If I were your wife......I would get a job so that you could be home more and you wouldn't have all of this stuff piled on top of you. This is the only answer I can think of, I know without a doubt that this is what I would do.