My husband has treated me awfully & I finally am going to file for divorce. He has cheated, lied, kept secrets, gambled away the $$$ that he controlled, had me working for him w/ no pay, didn't pay the mortgage and now my house that my Mom gave us is gone. I am living in her spare room with my (his step)kids. It has only been a few weeks and we still talk on the phone. I am going for a job as a bartender at a local strip club only because it is close & my car can't handle a lot. It is a start. He seems to disapprove, even though he put me in the situation. He won't even admit to all that he has done, just tries to justify it & that infuriates me. I can't help for some unknown reason seeming to care what he thinks, WHY??? Why can't I get mad or hate him? Afterall that he has put me through. It makes me feel so stupid. I am way too forgiving! I don't understand why I would care what he thought or how he feels, when he never did me.
PLZ no mean answers
2007-12-07 02:38:06 · 8 answers · asked by tonyer71 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you care about what he thinks b/c that is one (of the many) thing that he clearly has been failing to do....Caring abotu what you think, and your feelings.
He seems to be a complete irresponsible man who doesn't deserve a wife.
I think that if you found someone who does care how YOU feel, and just generally cares about you, your thought about caring about what he thinks....will completly disappear. You just need something to get your mind off of his lame a$$...take the job at the strip club regardless of what he thinks...HE DOES NOT CONTROL you!!! Sometimes you have got to do what you have got to do, to make things work...
2007-12-07 02:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by SaMi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u gotta stay away from this guy, he sounds like really bad news. i wouldn't even talk to him on the phone. i think deep inside u still "love" him, but someone that cares about u wouldn't have done all the things that he's done. i think u need time by yourself to get everything straight, and please leave this loser in your past. i think u can do so much better off w/out him, keep working, do not talk to him, etc...you've already lost a house b/c of him, what more do u want to lose? ur sanity?
2007-12-07 10:48:06 · answer #2 · answered by Lida 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All hating him does is cause you unhappiness. Does it hurt him? No. It's kind of like drinking poison and expecting him to get sick over it. You love(d) him and of course you would care, but he made some decisions that permanentlt damaged your relationship.
You can still care what he thinks, but you can't let that make decisions that you need to make for your kids right now.
2007-12-07 10:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you want SOMEONE to care about what you do. Yes, it sucks, but it's part of the healing process. It's even more sucky for the good people out there, like yourself, because it's even harder to detach yourself from him. If you're feeling down, I'm here for you. We're all in this together.
2007-12-07 14:53:28 · answer #4 · answered by Travis S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a situation something like yours but not quite as bad. We are divorced but he still thinks he can tell me what to do. He has me on a roller coaster all the time and I really am sick of it, however I still love the jerk.
2007-12-07 10:43:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your only concern should be yourself and your children.
He sounds like a loser.
You are better off with your mom for the time being.
Chin up, you can get through this. Be strong.
2007-12-07 10:47:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
always ladies loves the jerks only. Nice guys r not suitable for them. Keep up the good works ladies.
2007-12-07 10:47:36 · answer #7 · answered by Niel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Can I encourage you both to have some couseling done at a local Christian Church. You would be surprised how much help it can be. If he doesn't want to go, you go.
2007-12-07 10:46:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋