I am a sophmore in college and my best mate here is a freshman and my boyfriend is a senior who I have been good friends with the whole time here. I knew when I started dating him that she went to him with her problems. Well it seems like since we started dating and working around things so we would have more time together she tries to impose on our time by having group chats with us and just plain being there or when its my time with him she has to have private chats about being depressed with him. I really want to know how to deal with this, Hes kinda tired of it and I have tried talking to her but she get so damn whiny and such when i try talking to her about it. Its not fair, we get maybe 10-20 minutes a day of alone time to talk, and on our up coming weekend we plan on it just being the two of us the entire weekend but she wants to hang out and be part of it. Hes going out to sea soon and next weekend is my last time until March to spend the weekend with him.
2007-12-07 02:27:54 · 23 answers · asked by marishka 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Start putting distance between yourself and your friend, tell her directly that she is being rude, If you have too, get with your bf and together tell her to give you guys some space and alone time. She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.
2007-12-07 02:32:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
She needs to find her own man. Your friend is taking advantage of your kindness. And if telling her how shitty it is will cause friction, then I would try to make plans and do something together somewhere else, that way she can't ¢o¢k-block. She's really needy and not mature enough to know that she's being annoying.
Or maybe before this weekend comes up, tell her exactly what your plans are, because its a special weekend and the two want to be alone.. Maybe she catch the hint and stay out of the way. If not, then she's pretty shitty.
Thats tough living with a selfish roommate. Hope that works out.
2007-12-07 02:40:51 · answer #2 · answered by SmugTHUG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind her that he is your boyfriend and you'd like to spend alone time with him. Tell her you understand that you are all friends, but that sometimes you would like your focus to only be on each other. I would also wonder if it's something she is doing on purpose or if she doesn't realize what she is doing. She needs to try and have another kind of relationship with him besides always going to him for advice, that can be QUITE draining. You know, maybe you two should just go out without letting her know your plans so that she cannot impose. Does he have a place you can hang out at? I'm sure there are other places to go than just your place where you know she will be. Good luck.
2007-12-07 02:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by katysru19 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend is jealous of the type of affection your boyfriend gives to you. In part, it probably feels to her like next weekend is her last weekend to be with him also. The point is, right now you, you have to decide if you do or do not want to spend next weekend with your friend AND boyfriend. If you make the choice that you want to spend it with your boyfriend alone, then you're probably going to have to hurt your best friend by telling her to shove off, because you guys just need to be alone. It's OK, and you have the time to reconcile your relationship with her while he's gone and work out the details. However, at the same time, you should ask him how much time he wants to spend with her, because at the end of the day she is his friend, and it isn't fair to totally cut her out of the last bit of time he's there. Goodluck !
2007-12-07 02:34:51 · answer #4 · answered by Saoirse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell her you are both having a weekend together and your looking really forward to the weekend without having any disturbances. Tell her you are going to do something really special together like go out to the zoo together and spend some time alone just the two of you. Just talk and talk about how excited you are about how the weekend is going to be great because your not going to answer the phone and your going to have a meal together and do couple things like hugging. Dont answer your phone, if she asks to go just cut her off by saying 'no its just going to be the two of us, we need time alone. 'Keep emphasising the fact its ALONE without her. She'll get over it... she needs to find a bf of her own not yours ! Tell her you want to go out with her the next weekend to see her and go to the cinema with her.
2007-12-07 02:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to be blunt. tell her she's not invited and which you and your boyfriend are going to spend a while on my own. the two you and your boyfriend sound such as you have tolerated this chick long adequate. You 2 are those in a relationship, so which you like your privateness. it would be not undemanding to assert, yet while she would not experience like she's imposing, she will on no account provide up.
2016-12-10 15:30:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to be firm with her, tell her that you and your boyfriend really need some 'alone time' to be a couple. If she has a lot of insecurities make sure she knows you're still there for her but there are times when she has to do her own thing with other people.
2007-12-07 02:32:16 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs Kittens 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is "kinda tired of it," and you don't care to deal with her being whiny, I suggest you ask him to say something. Tell him you've tried your best, you'd like more of him (that always is helpful with a guy when his gf tells him that!), and ask if he couldn't help you out this once. He needs to be firm though. Hopefully, he's up to it.
2007-12-07 02:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by ironcityguy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if she truly has THAT many problems, maybe she needs to start going to a professional. tell her that she's getting annoying and that inviting herself is rude. you're in college, she sounds immature. but you aren't helping the situation by letting her walk all over you. she can complain all she wants, just tell her NO. if she wants to act like a little kid, then treat her like one. if he's getting annoyed as well, tell him to tell her that she's not his priority, you are, and she needs to respect that. if I was in this situation, I would have told her to stop a long time ago.
2007-12-07 06:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her no she can't hang out with you guys. Herre I know what to do, I will do it for you. Whats her number? lol, if she gets whiny just tell her to stop feeling sorry for herself, it is not your boyfriends job to take care of her problems after one act of kindness, tell her to go to a professional. She is being selfish, not you. Go have a good time with your man without her and don't feel guilty if you have to get snippy about it!
2007-12-07 02:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋