If I wanted to politely, gently, and respectfully tell you that you need to lose some weight, how would I go about doing it in a way that would not cause you to get mad at me? Let's assume, for the sake of answering this question, that you are, in fact, overweight.
2007-12-07 02:01:44 · 17 answers · asked by Reggie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We've been married for 7 years. We're both 35. I'm in shape and weigh the same as I did in college. I'm 5'10" & weight 185 pounds. I go to the gym regularly...anywhere from 10-20 times a month. I've suggested working out together, but she's not interested. She eats a lot of bad food. I sometimes eat bad food, but it's rare. I don't make fun of her, have never told her that she's gaining a lot, or that she's out of shape. I'm worried for our future. She could get diabetes or heart disease or cancer b/c of her weight. Also, it makes her tired all the time and non-energetic. We don't have kids, but we'd like to. We went off birth control 7 months ago, but haven't been successful yet. I'm not a medical professional, but I'm starting to think that her weight is decreasing our chances of conception. What can I say to her to get her to lose weight? The killer is that I'm slowly realizing that it's getting increasingly difficult to get sexually aroused b/c of her weight.
2007-12-07 02:24:18 · update #1
Well, I am in fact overweight and my husband is a bit overweight too....
We have a special relationship where we are able to talk openly and respectfully and neither of us gets our feelings hurt....I'm honest about things, so is he....I admit I need to lose weight, and I admit I need his help in order to do this...
All I can suggest is that you set a good example yourself with your diet and exercise and then ask her to join in with you.....it's much easier to do this if you are both committed to a healthy lifestyle......if one is eating pizza every night, how fair is it for the other to not get to?
Chances are, she knows she's overweight and probably wants to change.......Being able to admit it to herself, and then being able to talk to you openly about it, is a big leap......
Prepare yourself to love her as she is.....
women are extremely sensitive about their weight, mainly because of you men! if a woman is thin, then everything else can be dealt with ......however, if she is the slightest bit heavy, then she's not worth anything......her personality, intelligence, wealth, doesn't matter - she's fat. period.
Be gentle, don't nag......suggest her joining in with you....if she doesn't catch on, then she's just not ready yet...
2007-12-07 02:13:56 · answer #1 · answered by Emmy F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is simple: NEVER, I mean NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER NEVER tell a woman that she needs to lose weight. Don't suggest, imply, hint, or anything. She will resent you FOREVER. I don't care how sweetly or politely or gently you put it. Don't suggest you both need to be healthy or work out or anything like that. Why? Cause in the back of her mind, she will immediately thinks "he's calling me fat!!" Even if she acts like she isn't upset or mad. Deep down, she will resent you for it.
If she thinks she needs to lose weight, just be supportive. But don't make suggestions or anything, that she may infer means you think she's fat. Just keep your mouth shut. I can't say this strongly enough. Trust me, you will be much happier in the end.
2007-12-07 02:10:26 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Mimsie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe her feelings need to be hurt a little bit. Quit sugar coating the situation. Ask her why she is letting herself go? Does she just not care anymore? Sometimes women just need a good swift kick to get them going in the right direction. Don't let her do the grocery shopping. Why don't you go a few times and buy the healthy food. Don't eat bad food in front of her if you don't want her to do it. Its just too tempting. Be honest with her tell her your concerns, I mean if she doesn't love herself how in the world can she love anyone else. Hope you work things out. Hope I helped.
Love
Abi
2007-12-07 03:33:05 · answer #3 · answered by abigailbanksabi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't, EVER. But maybe asking your girl to join you in some physical activity. Bike riding, Tennis, Walking or Hiking. When you are together you make healthier food choices and she may eventually follow your lead.
I am a little over weight, not bad, but I gave birth 9 months ago. I'm losing weight, and making some efforts but it going slow. I'm not happy with my body, nor do I go fishing for compliments, expecting lies from him. But I sure as hell wouldn't want Daddy asking me to lose weight. Now he has mentioned us working out together and that is fine, though he hasn't made any strides to do so.
2007-12-07 02:10:41 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is an easy way to tell someone they need to loose weight.....but you might suggest working out together at home or in a gym......doing activities together, plus you would be spending quality time together....having sex can be a workout too:).....suggest that the both of you try eating healthier foods or watch the intake of calories....
2007-12-07 02:11:26 · answer #5 · answered by americangurl_28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling someone that is a REALLY touchy subject don't tell her shes over weight suggest that both of you start a healthy life style and jog in the morning or go to the gym together.That might work.Or sing up for like a charity run and get her to train with you, you never know she might like it and keep it up.
2007-12-07 02:08:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If females are marrying females and guys are marrying guys then it implies that by means of nature a time will come that procreation will stop. There may not be someone to inherit this earth. It is a taboo for identical sexes to marry.
2016-09-05 10:42:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a woman who would love for my man to be honest and communicate with me.i want to be his woman, fantasy girl, etc. i would be offended if he acted like it didnt bother him that i was gainin weight and it did. i would tell my man, look honey ur stomach is getting too big. i want the same honesty esp since men are so visual. i would want you to say 'i have something to discuss with u, not outta being mean, but out of love and concern for ur well being. i love u the way u are but i want u to lose a little weight. we can walk, bicycle, create healthy meals together. this could be a way for us to become healthier together & closer' make sure u tell her not to be self-conscious about it. and asure her that u love her. but don't u dare leave her to do all the work for herself. ur gonna hafta be extra affectionate after this talk tho. cuz shes gonna be a lil shocked and need comforting. but this is what relationships are all about.
2007-12-07 02:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by Audrean L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she grossly overweight or just has a few love handles from bearing children? There isn't a way to tell her that. In fact if you do say that, be prepared to sleep outside. It sounds like your just a shallow person. You married her for better or for worse.
2007-12-07 02:06:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sirecoke 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that that I would say she was overweight. I might suggest working out together. What couple doesn't need more activities or time to spend together.
2007-12-07 02:05:56 · answer #10 · answered by Misty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋