wife pressuring for 3some? (ADULT)?

Question

what to do with your wife is pressuring you for a 3some with another man? And she wont stop?

Answer 1

Don't give in... it will ruin your relationship.... trust me.

Answer 2

Well, since you are obviously uncomfortable with it and don't want to do it, this could be a big issue. She obviously feels that this is something she needs in some way and you obviously don't want to do it. So in the end one of the two of you is going to be very disappointed.

What the two of you need to discuss is how the two of you can figure out something that might make both of you happy (or at least less unhappy). Some things the two of you may want to discuss:

1. Maybe fair is fair, having a threesome with a woman as well. Or maybe having a 4some with a woman and a man at the same time.

2. You could discuss some rules and guidelines about the 3some that will help ease your concerns. Some things that could come up
1. Do not do this with a particular person in mind. If this is a fantasy about 2 men, then the 2nd man shouldn't matter so long as you are 1 of them. If she has a particular man in mind, that would be a big concern to me.
2. Do this while on vacation with someone who is not a part of your life.
3. Maybe having the second man being able to watch only. Maybe a bit of exhibitionism is part of what she is looking for.

Basically, what I am trying to get at is that if she is bringing this up that frequently there is a REASON why she is doing that. If you simply say no, then she will obviously be left unhappy to some degree. At the very least the two of you need to talk about it and at least LISTEN to her and why she wants to do this. By really listening to her and considering it will at the very least lessen her disappointment if you end up saying you can't do it.

This is a tough situation, I know personally my biggest concern would be that she has a specific man in mind when she is bringing this up. I think I would be much more comfortable with picking someone up (or maybe even making a trip to Vegas for this).

Good luck, but as with anything in a marriage, it is all about listening to each other and communication. I hope for your marriage's sake you two can figure this out.

PS. It is truly shocking how much more violent and repulsed the responses are to this than it is when a woman comes on and asks about her husband wanting a 3some. Maybe some of you neanderthals out there should realize that woman have sexual desires and fantasies two. Maybe your wife would be happier if you recognized that as well.

I would have (and have) given the same advice to both sides, my only reason for concern is that he was so clearly against the idea, not that she wanted a 3some.

Answer 3

Hmmm, that's an interesting one, it is possible she already has the man chosen and has either already slept with him, or doesn't want to "cheat" on you and wants to have sex with him. You can test that by telling her you get to choose the other man

In the mean time you can try using some toys to simulate another man and see how that goes.

Failing that, if she is adamant, you can cut a deal and tell her that you will give her the threesome with another man, but you get a threesome with another woman FIRST.
There is a good chance she wont have liked the threesome with another woman (Seeing her man getting pleasured by someone else) and be turned off with her idea.

If she still wants to go ahead and you are emphatically against it, you could either tell her to go ahead without you but you get a freebie with someone of your choice, or you can lay down the law and tell her no way. She will probably go ahead and do it anyway (if she wont let up on her having sex with another man as you have said) so you might as well take the road that gets you some too.

That is if your relationship is strong enough to withstand this.

Answer 4

If you dont want it, she should accept that. If she respects you then she can hear your no.

The word that rules, that is trump, when it comes to intimacy, is "no". If a girl says "no" and you as a man dont stop then its rape. Her no is her trump.. she gets to say what does not happen to her body. She has property rights over her body.

Your no should be accepted. You have property rights over your body - to say what will not happen to it. You have the right to not allow the actions of others to cause you harm. That is a fundamental constitutional right.

If she is pressuring you.. and can't give you that basic level of respect - then you married the wrong woman. She wants out of the relationship, and out of the marriage. The threesome is an eject button for her. Its a way for her to walk away from you and not a way for her to walk toward you.

Do what you know is excellent. Live the most excellent life. At the end of life you have an audience of one- yourself. Be the kind of person that would be satisfied having been so in the many years of a single audience you can be admired and have glory, and not be buried in contempt, regret, and sorrow. Be truly the best you can be, independent of who your wife thinks you should or shouldn't. Act with vision.

Answer 5

How ought to you no longer understand the variety you sense in this occasion? I recommend, it is your spouse speaking approximately having a 3SOME with yet another guy as properly YOU. How do you sense approximately yet another guy seeing your spouse bare and touching her in a manner merely you ought to be waiting to do? She's incorrect for even drawing close you with this manner of question....except you have hinted to her some 3some (no longer accusing you). If this would not situation you or dissatisfied you, then there is no situation...real? do merely despite sense or what makes you happy.

Answer 6

If you are not comfortable with that, tell her honestly!

You can play fantasy games with her using toys and such without having someone actually there. Maybe that will help.

But really - if you don't approve, or you feel uncomfortable...tell her. And remind her of your vows and also mention the everlasting effects that doing something like that can do to your relationship.

What sounds good in a fantasy - isn't always something that you can live with after the act is over.

Good luck!

Answer 7

In our marriage vows we promise to love and honour one another, and to be faithful. I think you need to remind her of that. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of a threesome, then she has no right to pressure you into it. It is not being respectful or honouring to the person she should love and cherish most in the world to pressure him into doing something sexual that he is uncomfortable with.

By any chance, is this in retaliation for you persuading or pressuring her into some activity that SHE was uncomfortable with, but agreed to in order to please you? If so, especially if you initially agreed to some kind of "deal" (e.g. you got a 2-woman-1-man threesome and she gets a 2-man-1-woman threesome) then it's a bit unkind of you to back out now!

I think you should sit down with her and have a serious talk about this issue, and perhaps consider counselling. A trained counsellor will be able to help you work through it and decide what you want to do that is best for both of you. But whatever sexual activity you choose to do, it should be WILLING consent from both of you!

Answer 8

I think it is great that she feels open and trusting enough to tell you her fantasies.. That alone means you 2 have a strong relationship.. Some couples can't discuss those thing with there spouse.. At any given point you both will have fantasies that you will want to fulfill with your partner.. It doesn't have to mean she is bored with you but perhaps she wants to spice things up.. Tell her how you really feel about it... Tell her about any fantasies you have.. be open with each other.. maybe you fulfill hers and she fulfills yours.. This could be fun for both of you.. and if you arn't comfortable tell her... Hope this helps.. I am just happy to know you 2 can at least feel comfortable talking about this.. some can't at all... Just let her know that pushing you isn't the way to go.. if that is how you feel.

Answer 9

Wow, you need to sit down with her and tell her your feelings on the matter. A lot of relationships changes when this events occurs. It doesn't turn out the way, the individuals planned it to be. Also, you have to do a lot of safety measures as well, especially to not mix the two male liquids together. Here is the most important thing, is this just a one time thing or will she or you do it again. Ask her what thrill is she trying to get out of this. I hope this helps.

Answer 10

Then you need to let her have her way. If not she will get it on her own, how would you feel about her having a 3some without you?.

Answer 11

You sound certain you don't want to do it, so the issue becomes one of simply communicating that clearly to your wife. Look her in the eye, speak clearly and assertively, and tell her that you are not now nor ever going to be OK with the idea of a threesome, case closed, end of discussion, no point in ever bringing it up again, because it's not going to happen, plain and simple. If she ever ever even tries to bring it up again, just say, "I feel certain that I have made my position on that idea crystal clear."