So here is my problem. I decided that I want a divorce. I thought long and hard about it. Decided that divorce is what is best for me. I left my husband he filed for divorce. It will be final the day after Christmas. Well, things went wrong when I left I ended up needing to move back into our house. Now I am really confused. I dont love him, dont want to be here, but he wants me to stay, he wants the divorce to go through. Only after I convinced him that I cannot gaurntee I wont pack up and leave in a week. I dont want to hurt him anymore then I already have. How do I leave now without seeming like a cold hearted person that I have been acting like?
2007-12-07 01:22:30 · 9 answers · asked by Makingitwork 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You had decided to divorce him after after a hard and long thought .It wasn't a sudden decision.Why should you stay together now?There's no good reason for that.In fact, you are inviting more emotional and psychological problems for you if you continue to live with him anymore.Just leave him.You have no reason to repent at all.You may have to repent a lot if you don't quit this co-existence which is illogical.
2007-12-07 01:36:09 · answer #1 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people decide to divorce and for financial reasons remain living in the same home, only in different bedrooms so as not to confuse things. Your solution is simple, simply tell your ex husband that you are only there due to your current circumstances and are setting to make plans on moving when circumstances change. Since you were the one that first left and this encouraged his decision to obtain a divorce, then what you both need to do is make clear to one another the reasons why things are the way they are now. Just a guess, but to me it sounds as if you both are caught up in a power struggle, wanting the other to give in, no one has so you both are stuck in limbo going along with all the step of ending it. If this is true, one of you will have to bend and give in. I mean, if you left and truly did not want to be there then why did you go back? Ask yourself this, why did you not go live somewhere else? If your reasons were truly due to financial hardship then tell him so, if not, you better open up and talk to him about your feelings or you will end up alone, without him. Either way, best of luck to you!
2007-12-07 01:37:30 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you are a poor story-teller, or you are a confused person.
How do these make sense?
You dont want to be there so you moved back in.
You dont love him, so you moved back in.
You dont want to hurt him anymore, so you moved back in.
You are asking: How do you leave without seeming cold?
You should be asking: How do you leave without drowning the man in mixed messages.
If you love him, be truthful - dont lead him on or use him.
You dont need me to tell you this.
- Part of true love, and not the corrupt version, is that it is founded on and steeped in truth. You can not live a love based on anything less, and call it true love.
- Part of true love is that the person is not a glove with which you feed your hungers. If he is only a paycheck, or a roof, go to a homeless shelter - and let his heart be free to heal, and to find a woman worthy of it. If you were the queen of the world, but you could not love him, you would not be worthy of his heart.
2007-12-07 01:40:56 · answer #3 · answered by Curly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage sucks maybe after the divorce you will feel differently about him sometimes marriage puts a damper on relationships he must still love you you where able to move back in when things went wrong and he is still willing to set you free. go with it and don't make promises that you can't keep as long as your living together don't get things going in the wrong direction by thinking you owe him just let it go. relax go out with friends and don't have dates pick you up meet them and then go home afterwords. your husband seems like a decent person so don't do anything to hurt him if you don't love him you should try to get out asap i know its hard to do when things go wrong but it will all work out. who knows you might decide you really do love him and things could work out just don't marry him again.
2007-12-07 01:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He filed for divorce, he did not remove it. If when the divorce is final he files it with your courts than don't you have what you need, his clear intent on never recitifying the marriage itself... My point is if he is following through with the divorce, how committed is he to you?? Get Out.... Move on and most important BE HAPPY!!
2007-12-07 02:47:40 · answer #5 · answered by ennayerac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really need to leave, go. The longer you stay, the harder it will be on the both of you. He's clinging if he wants you to stay. I was in a similar situation, and decided it was the best if I left... I did, and have never regretted it.
2007-12-07 01:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by cdndave77 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just go explain to him that there is no chance of you guys making and leave unless you like the attention of someone wanting you
2007-12-07 01:33:36 · answer #7 · answered by toosexy4thisshit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a clean break
2007-12-07 01:35:25 · answer #8 · answered by Gypsy Gal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell out of there.
2007-12-07 01:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋