does it have something to do with his past? he has been cheated twice by his 2 ex.. they both left him for another men. his last relationship was 8 years ago and then he met me and got married, i am 26 and he is 40. he is a very good husband except the jealousy-- for example: there was this cute dead football player i saw on youtube namely miklos feher and i keep watching his video and telling my husband how handsome he is and he is too hot to die but my husband got angry and told me all i did the whole day is watch his videos.. it took me a while to realize he was jealous! there is also an instance when he caught me looking at the myspace profile of the guy i used to have sweet relationship online and he got mad, we fought because of it! and then i was chatting to this same guy and he was only telling me about his new job and he knew i was married and i made it clear to him that i was happily married but my husband took it against me again and we didnt speak for 2 days because of it!
2007-12-07 00:46:19 · 36 answers · asked by M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have to agree with others on this one. You aren't doing right by looking and chatting with other men. You are married and your not suppose to do that, comment on who you are and not attracted too. Those are things you shouldn't do.
A man needs to be reassured ALOT that his wife thinks he hung the moon. He will return the reassurance as well.
Seems to me that you have a good husband. You need to hang on to him. Be more sensitive, re-assuring and make DAMN sure he knows that you are his forever. You shouldn't ever have a problem and have a great marriage. A great marriage has unlimited benifits. A bad marriage has unlimited miseries! What do you want?
2007-12-07 00:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Keeper 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been cheated on and I still have a VERY hard time trusting my boyfriend. He knows and understands and I know why I do what I do. The most important thing you can do is make him aware that you are not like the women he dated before. Tell him that it is affecting your relationship and he needs to realize that he can trust you. It will be hard and he may never completely get over his past experiences but he needs to be less controlling and aggressive. That being said you can also help him get though the adjustment back into a trusting relationship. Try to show him he can trust you by showing him the things you do. Give him the password to your myspace and let him get on there and see for himself you are not unfaithful. Also, try to take his feelings into careful consideration when you're talking. If my boyfriend went on and on about how hot some skank was I would be upset too. The most important thing I can say is the two of you had better have EXTREMELY good communication because without it you will never get past trust issues. If you can't communicate with him consider counseling.
Good luck
2007-12-07 00:58:16 · answer #2 · answered by FlowerChild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is a two way street. His past is enough of a reason for him to be a little bit more insecure than the average man, never mind that you're so much younger.
For You: Show some special consideration for his feelings and stop flaunting your interest in other men, it's normal for you to have male/female interaction. But LOVE dictates that your husband is sensitive to this, so therefore you must give up a little bit of your freedom for the sake of his happiness.
For Him: Your wife is young, not necessarily stupid. She isn't trying to make you jealous or insecure, you have to have a little bit of trust. You should know from past experience that if one wants to cheat, one will. Being jealous and punishing her for normal behaviour will only push her away, Try explaining your feelings rationally, and come to a mutual agreement and understanding about appropriate behaviour for YOUR relationship.
Because everyone's relationship is different, consisting of two unique people, making one unique connection.
LOVE conquers all!
2007-12-07 00:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by Lexpressive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes - it always has something to do with the past. Could also be the age difference, he may figure ' what is this hott young chica doing with me?'. Why would you tell your husband that someone is too 'hott' to die? In any relationship, you never do that. They want to know that they are the only one you're looking at and with such a vast age difference, that is especially the case here. Yes, he's jealous, but you're also not considering his feelings. If you really want this to work, when you're on the comp with someone else, make sure to get up, hug and kiss him and tell him he's your only one. Don't give the comp your full attention. Also, act uninterested in the conversation. Or just don't talk to anyone else except for when he's not there. I think you should also tell him to chill out with the jealousy **** cuz it's driving you insane. good luck!
2007-12-07 00:51:49 · answer #4 · answered by Rhyann 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Girl your in the wrong. Why are you checking out your old flame on myspace? That's just childish of you, still looking him up even though you made it clear that you are married. once you get married all your old bf are out of the picture. You need some growing up to do and you shouldn't of gotten married if you were still going to be looking for your ex. And about the dead fb player you just needed to keep your comments to yourself. So try being a little more mature and be faithful to your man and stop chatting with your ex or anyone other man. You are committed to one man and one man only
2007-12-07 00:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by Aikalee 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You bring it on yourself. I agree with your husband. You're too young for him obviously you haven't matured enough to be in a committed relationship, let alone a marriage!
YOU'RE the one making him jealous. There are things you don't do when you're married and chatting online with random guys and talking about a dead guy thats "too hot to die" are things you don't do. Grow up.
2007-12-07 02:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by Blondee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 40. He is only getting older. This worries him. He is afraid of losing you to a younger stronger man. Don't do things that hurt his ego. Talking about and talking to good looking young men will only make him feel bad. If he had been doing the things that you have been doing and saying you would be jealous too. Love is about caring how the other person feels.
2007-12-07 00:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
you know, it is normal for men to be jelouse usually and for women too by the way. Some show it and others hide it deep inside themselves. The difference of age between you and your husband is also important aspect. It is normal for him to be jelouse, because you are young and he is afraid to loose you. YOu should act another way. Stop telling him about the men you like, stol looking open on other men and do not chat when he is at home and do not tell that you chat to him. Make him to be sure that he is the nly one for you if it is really so, or maybe you just want somebody else and that is why you act like this? Be honorst with yourself!
2007-12-07 00:53:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sweetie, he has been once bitten, now he is twice as shy..
You are pushing buttons you need not push. Not many women I know would put up with their husbands chatting with an old flame on myspace either. I know you would flip if he gazed at some hot chick all day with his tounge out and commented about how she gives him wood. You need to grow up and act like a Wife or divorce and go play like you are still in highschool on myspace.
2007-12-07 00:52:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Did they really cheat? Or does he just believe they cheated? Often times jealous people make this stuff up in their heads. I was in your shoes for 9 years...and frankly I'd rather be dead than to ever live a life like that again. My X accused me of cheating every chance he got. It got so bad that I wouldn't even spend time with my family unless he was willing to go.
They say jealous people are insecure people, and that is fine; but it certainly isn't an excuse for them to take it out on others, nor others to excuse them for their bad and very inappropriate accusations and behavior.
2007-12-07 00:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋