2 years ago I found out my husband was cheating. I can't be sure if it was the first time. He says it was because I insisted on my managing my own salary and not saving money with him, so I showed lack of commitment. Although I explained that he had control for 15 years but I found his ways too strict and I had to ask for every penny. Today I suspect he still cheats, I am not sure, but a friend of mine suggests that we pool our money again to try and give him back his power because if he didn't love me he would have left by now irrelevant of our daughter doing exams etc., I don't know if this would work and if I can trust him because yesterday he swore blind he was in one place when I know with 100% accuracy that he was 35 miles away. I gave him a chance to tell me the truth but his insists he was there, I pleaded with him not to mess me around and he insists he is not messing around. I need some advise please. I know you will say once a cheat etc. but we have been together 20 years
2007-12-07 00:22:49 · 9 answers · asked by Angela F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get on with your life and divorce this man. I wouldn't trust him.
2007-12-10 06:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so 1st off I won't say (once a cheat, always a cheat), But you did say you don't know if he has cheated before, & you don't know if you can trust him. It doesn't matter if you have been together 1 year, 20 years or even 50 years. And I would not give in on the money issue, For some women it states their independence, as shows that they can make up their own minds & take care of themselves without having to depend on a man. Marriage is a 50-50 partnership & your husband should respect your wishes to control your own money. He used the excuse of the money situation for his indiscretion? I'm sorry, there is no excuse in the book for cheating. Hope all works out for you !
2007-12-07 00:35:20 · answer #2 · answered by Blu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is the queistion if you love him or not. I do not also understand the situation when a women should ask a men her own money, i think that it is quite stupid. Maybe you do not have to talk about it and try to forget about it for a while. Make him a present, go together somewher for holidays, spend few days together and find back the intimicy you had. If you do not want to give him all the money, maybe you could give him just a part of it and the rest spend by yourself and for yourself? And I am sure that the decision will come by itself with time and everything will be fine
2007-12-07 00:33:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you can't trust him because he just lied to you about where he was. He is a user and trying to control you. Any ''man'' who has a problem with his wife having her own money has serious problems. I can't believe that he accused you of having a lack of commitment and then cheated. I don't know why you are with him. End it. He is not worth one more day. I say that is has been 20 yrs wasted.
2007-12-07 00:48:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI. I just got out of a 10 yr relationship that was the same way. Sometimes guys just go astray and they try to blame it on us when it's them having no self control. I don't think you should trust someone who continues to lie to you. I know you say you have a daughter with him, i had 2 and now i am friends with my ex because i finally got tired of being treated that way and lied to constantly. You deserve better than that. He should be appreciative of someone who is not needy and strong enough to do things on their own. I hope this helps!
2007-12-07 00:29:00 · answer #5 · answered by kari f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it is hard to find out if he is cheating on you and both of you have been for 20 years
2007-12-07 00:27:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would not trust that man at all. I would've divorced him a long time ago.
2007-12-07 00:40:22 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOPE not on your life. Men want to control women but they should not let them.
2007-12-07 00:26:31 · answer #8 · answered by Fran M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first i do not believe "once a cheat always a cheat" but it does not sound like he is being truthfull.
2007-12-07 00:28:38 · answer #9 · answered by jrmymck 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋