My 12 Year Old Poem?

Question

This is a poem I wrote waaaay back in 2001, when I was 12. It's obviously not great then lol. But I always liked it because it had meaning. I wrote this in the hospital, about 5 minutes after my mom passed away. I realize my pain at the end. Thoughts?

It's still warm for October
I wonder if I need a jacket
I'll be thirteen soon
I wonder what daddy will get me
Her doctors are Arab
I wonder how they feel about 9-11
I'm glad Ms. Banks let me out of school
I wonder what Jesse is doing
Those cafeteria guys like me
I wonder if they know that I'm 12
Teresa is such a nice woman
I wonder if she's Italian
She gave me one of her dirty romance novels
Wonder if I should read it
My aunt got some Valium
I wonder if I should steal it
The streets look so inviting
I wonder if they would want me
I saw my dad outside
I wonder if he'll ever stop smoking
I look at my face
I wonder if I'll ever survive
My mother's dead
I wonder why I'm alive

Answer 1

It's Great! You were 12?
It's good because its cut down to it's basics, both emotionally and grammatically.
It's powerful, just as it is.
It's amazing how deep pain brings out talent.
Are you still writing?

Answer 2

...It's a very touching and compassionate poem.

I, too, have a compassion for the Arabic people, as a whole, which has gotten me a bit of hatred/dislike. I'm not compassionate due to any religous beliefs, that I don't really have, just humanity....glad to see the same.

As human beings we all lost family, and I'm truly sorry that something like that has happened to humankind.

I'm glad you're still alive, and were able to move past your difficulties... You sound like a really good person. I Hope that you didn't do any of those negative things, on the way to where you are now.

Good luck in keeping them out of your future.

I'll forever be a cry-baby about my grandfather's death, so let me know if you need to talk through hard times and feelings.

Answer 3

It will be more special if you make one up. That's the best thing you can do because if she really liked and cared about you, she wouldn't care if the poem was like even bad or not because you wrote it and tried and it's always the thought that counts anyway so I completely recommend writing one on your own. Good luck! P.S. If you just need some ideas to get started you can try thinking about love things or what you like about her. Be creative. Rhymes are cool.

Answer 4

This is a wonderful poem! Very, very good for a 12 yr old. Just a jotting down of random thoughts written in a very graceful way. There is a style of poetry out here that covers it, but I can't recall the name right now. Did you title it? Sometimes that is difficult. Please don't call it "I Wonder". How about "October"?

Answer 5

I am sorry for loss. I thought your poem was very powerful and it brought a tear to my eye. Perhaps you should try to send it to a magazine to get it published if you would like to. I think people would be able to understand somewhat what you were going through and what you were feeling and it would help them.

Answer 6

It's Beautiful... Lovin' It...

Answer 7

this is a really deep poem well done on getting such emotion down in one poem. i wish i could write poems like that . lol

Answer 8

sniff..sniff.
....
I totally love it. .. I can feel your pain....
I mean, your mom is dead, yet your trying to survive this pain by writing a poem.
I encourage you to write more poems, poems that have meanings, like this one.

Answer 9

WOW. I like it. Very deep. I lost my dad when I was 13, so I totally feel your pain.

Answer 10

awww this is has a really sad impact - i really like it and its absolutely amazing how you could put such feelings from pen to paper.