Now I dont subscribe to this, but from my observations it often seems to be true. What is the saying ' laugh and you laugh in company, cry and you cry alone' Very true often. What is your attitude to a friend who is in need of substantial help..?
2007-12-06 18:44:01 · 11 answers · asked by pete the pirate 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I thought that the obvious answer would be help the friend.
To my shame , I found out I was wrong.
I lived with a guy and his wife... renting a room for a couple years and defacto my best friends. Well after I moved out they had some marriage problems for a while and it looked like divorce was immenient.
My friend came to me for a place to stay, and I said yes..but in the process of the conversation he was saying all this bad stuff about her, and how she was going to abandon thier kid . Well I reached instant overload and could not cope. It was the weirdest freak out....and ultimately I didnt help my friend...and I broke off contact with both of them.
They fixed thier problems..at least as much as people fix anything. And I havent seen them in years.
I feel like a failure as a friend, and other than my own wife...and son...I dont bother to form close friendships at all.
2007-12-06 18:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by Alex 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on the type of help yer giving.. I have friends that I would do anything for, why because they normally stand on their own two feet and only occassionally take a tumble and need help. I make it a rule never to lend money, but to my closest friends I give it if I can afford it. Lending money between friends can be the end of a good friendship.. better to give than lend in those cases..
The other type of friend, never stands on their own two feet..no matter how much you or others give..they generally have a large circle of givers as well..not just you. They make mountains out of mole hills, everything is a catastrophe. Never ever satisfied, even when things are good.. it seems they are not happy unless there is something wrong. They make bad decisions and hope others will clean up the mess. There comes a time in your life when you must cut these people free for your own sanity. It may seem cold, but you don't want to associate with negative downers, it's not good. If you are considering giving someone substantial help, ask yourself this.. "Do I really care?" if the answer is yes, get in there, if not, walk away.
2007-12-06 18:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by oneblondepilgrim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... I guess it depends on the extremity of the situation - ie. do they just need someone to listen to them or is it more major than that- and also how good a friend they are. I would help my dearest friends because I know they'd do the same for me, but with the less known and trusted friends, there's only a certain extent to which I'd be willing to assist them. Again, it all depends on the situation. Hope that helps!
2007-12-06 18:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by jemm4president 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what the friend needs help on.
Sometimes friends find stupid reasons to complain and be upset about, or they are stubborn and complain but refuse to do anything about their problems, but there are other situations in which I really do sympathize with them.
About that quote, I really find it hard to truly feel how a friend feels when it comes to being upset, although I can easily support and sympathize with them even if I can't feel how they're hurt. I find it a lot easier to laugh along with people laughing.
2007-12-06 18:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon the help they need? You can be supportive but i don't think you have to give up a lot of your time OR money and bend over backwards, or over extend yourself if you feel this person is a pest.
Sometimes our "friends" need to stand up and take action to solve their problems. Being there and listening is a good thing, but the person who you need to look out for most of all, is YOU.
2007-12-06 18:53:58 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd help them. Unless by helping them I had to, you know, kill someone, compromise my own morals, etc. Otherwise, I'm the person my posse comes to for help on this or that. We cry and laugh together!
2007-12-07 02:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help whenever you can, but if that friend gets too dependent on your help its time to move on.
2007-12-07 00:14:43 · answer #7 · answered by djdundalk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help them, of course . . . which is not the same as allowing them to use or take advantage of you.
2007-12-06 19:16:36 · answer #8 · answered by R H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be there for the friend no matter what.
2007-12-06 19:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help where you're best able and if you can't help, be honest.
2007-12-06 18:52:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋