im keeping in mind that this is a person's new lease on life and i should take it all like, "we're just dating and enjoying eachothers company". im fine with that, but i also dont want to waste MY time. even though i understand that the person is still fresh out of a marriage, ultimately im investing emotions regardless. even though i say i will be fine, there is a possibility i may get too involved and hurt...OUCH!
2007-12-06 18:30:43 · 16 answers · asked by mylilgemini21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take your time and get to know each other. Don't put any pressures and demands on him. Accept him as he is and yes there is the possibility of baggage depending on whether he has children etc......Enjoy the momentum and go with the flow.....it takes a while for someone who has just come out of a marriage to readjust to single life again so be understanding about his circumstances, but in saying this be yourself and let this person see your for who you are and give him the best of you and I hope all goes well for both of you.........All the best and Good Luck
2007-12-06 18:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by Janice G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it really depends on how long he was separated before the divorce was filed, some people separate for many years before they actually file for the divorce, and even some find a new mate, they fall in love, and then the ex couple will file.
But if you are dating someone who was living with his wife just 3 or 4 mos ago, and just gone through the divorce, I'd shy away from that one, big time! You are only asking for heart break there, because he is going to want to play the field for awhile before he settles down again, and that is only a maybe that he will want to ever settle down again. I know for myself, I'd never date someone who has just came out of a bad marriage.
2007-12-06 18:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by tiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That may depend upon why the marriage ended and whether he was the one to end it or she was. If she ended it, there may be something wrong with either him or her so you need to get more details from his as to why the marriage went bad. Was she cheating on him and so he filed for divorce? Was he cheating on her and she filed? Did they both just get tired of each other? Depending upon he answers you can see whether he is ready to move on perhaps or not. There are some men and women who can move from a bad relationship and make it work but there are others who can not but remember that a first marriage is not totally a failure if a second marriage succeeds. It is just a question of whether he is ready to move on and you should be able to figure that out by talking to him hopefully. Good Luck to you!!
2007-12-06 18:48:55 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with going out, you just need to be aware that some things which happen are reactions to the past and that you need to give a relationship more time.
Investing emotional energy is good, but be aware that the other person is going to change a lot over a short time and you will have to give them room to do this.
There is no reason that they aren't ready for a loving, committed relationship though.
Just watch for other causes for their emotional responses (both good and bad) and don't automatically blame yourself when something challenges them (or makes them happy).
2007-12-06 18:40:41 · answer #4 · answered by Graham 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a relationship that called "on the rebound" because the divorcee is fresh from a divorce and is still recovering from it. Maybe go out with the person but draw the line somewhere and keep the emotional ties out of the picture first.
2007-12-06 18:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a bad bad idea to get involved with anyone who is newly divorced, as it takes a good year sometimes more to adjust to life without your ex-spouse, theirs still alot of baggage this man is carrying around with him & Im sure while he,s smiling on the outside, he is crying on the inside, in one way or another. This is the reason why men & women fail at their first relationship after their divorce, they just dont have the tools & know how to be in a relationship, they think they do, but at the end of the day they dont, all your gonna get from this man is unwanted drama and confusion, as he needs time for healing and closure. Take it from me, as I used to work with divorced singles.
2007-12-06 23:32:35 · answer #6 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very careful. Take it slow. If you are interested in marriage, find out what he thinks about marriage as a whole. Some people do not want to get re-married or have made a plan not to get serious for a certain amount of time. Find out if he has set any restrictions on a relationship.
Good luck!
2007-12-06 18:51:04 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you understand the 'rules' of a rebound relationship and as long as you discuss with each other when and if things get a little on the serious side - go for it - nothing ventured, nothing gained, etc... life is full of risks.
of course I say this being with the same person for almost 26 years and still having OMG sex at least four times a week - what do I know?
2007-12-06 18:50:04 · answer #8 · answered by cnjswimmer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every date, every chance, is a risk. You can't win if you don't play. Each person's reason for his choices in life (including divorce) is different, just as every person is different. It's pretty hard to answer your question without knowing more about the guy, and about you. But the best people to discover if it's a "bad idea" or not are he and you.
I would hasten to opine that it would be a bad idea to marry him before getting to know him, but he might be The guy for you and you'll never know this if you don't get to know him.
2007-12-06 18:37:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not call it a 'bad' idea, but I would be wary of it.
She/he may still have emotions for the other person they've just broken up with and they may find that difficult to tell you. Hence, complications begin.
I'm not saying it can't work, but it would have to be a very open and honest relationship for it to succeed.
2007-12-06 18:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by Pingu Head 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋