I walked in while my boyfriend was <PLEAS OPEN><REALLY IMBERISING>?

Question

so imberasing, I hope he never reads this. He just moved in to my place, we been together for almost 4 months, and now that he is here, he bin gettin real casual, wich is a really good thing....so, the other night in the middle of the night, passed 3 in the morning, I open the bathroom door, caus the light was on, and there he is in a pink robe, and frilly underwear and the worst is high heels that arnt mine. At first I acused him of cheeting and he said that no he just likes to dress up. DO MEN DO THIS?????????????? I never bin with a guy that does this and I am really freaked about this, it happend last night and ever sinse then....I just kind of ignore it. He said that he likes this, and he's not embarassed, but I havent left my doughter with him ever sinse....cous does this make him weird????????????? What do i do????

also he is 32 and I am 24 my doughter is 8 months

Answer 1

i've seen a guy do that drunk, but never sober lol. The fact that he was hiding it is even worse i think. You obviously have feelings for him if he is living with you. I know how hard it is to bring someone around your daughter that you think you know. All i can say is have a long discussion with him. Ask him why hes secretive about this. Ask him what he wants in life. And ask him if hes into woman or men. I really don't know, i guess everyone has a fetish. But the fact that your daughter is around worrys me a little. Obviously you lost trust/faith in him when you seen him like this, i think your relationship is doomed in the long run anyway, cut him loose. Do you really want your daughter going to school when shes older telling people how her daddy/mommys friend wears pantys? Or how bout her and her friends come home from school and see him that way. I couldnt deal with that.

Answer 2

Your boyfriend is a transvestite. He can't help wanting to cross-dress, but he could work harder to keep it from you if that would help. Look up "transvestism" and "cross-dressing" online and learn about it before you make judgements. btw, this doesn't make him any more likely to be a child molester than any other guy, so I wouldn't fret about your daughter. And no, this doesn't mean he's gay.

He should have told you about this before you lived together, but he clearly knew how much you'd freak out. Learn all you can about his condition and decide (soon) whether it's something you can live with, and if so, work with him to set ground rules (like to lock doors and not go outside in women's clothes, and let him know it makes him less sexy to you if you actually see it.) He may be able to make do with just wearing your undies under men's clothes most days and doing a full dress-up a couple of times a month when there's no chance anyone will see him. Try to find a compromise if you love him. If you truly can't deal with it, break up now so he can find someone who can love him as he is.

Answer 3

First of all, this is not a question of whether he is weird or not. There are some psychologists who would say that his behavior is just fine if no one is getting hurt. The question is whether YOU are comfortable with this behavior. Take into account whether you could live with this behavior, and whether you could handle that behavior occurring in your home with your daughter (even if she never sees or knows about it, are you comfortable with it happening in the home she shares?) Another thing to consider is whether this behavior is a sexual fetish, or if it is more than that. Fetishes are completely normal. But, sometimes, some people cannot separate their fantasy life from their actual life. Yes, some men do this. Yes, some very normal men do this. You are obviously very freaked out by this. You have to find out whether you are freaked out because it was such a shock, or if you are freaked out because it doesn't align with your own desires and feelings. So, ultimately, only you can answer your question of what to do. But, hopefully, this will help you as you evaluate your decision.

Answer 4

Whilst I don't understand it, YES, there are men who get a thrill out of dressing in womens clothing/shoes/underwear. What I do understand is that these men are classed as perverts when they aren't usually. It's like associating being homosexual with being a child molester - there is NO COMPARISON, they are nothing alike.

The reason I mention this is your comments about leaving your daughter alone with him - if you were comfortable before with doing it, why should it change now because he likes to don a dress & high heels in the middle of the night in private?

Have a serious chat with him - but you have to be honest. Tell him it suprised you to see him like that and you don't know how you feel about it. If your feelings about him haven't changed then you might just need to set some ground rules - ie: absolutely no cross dressing when your daughter is around etc.

Good luck.

Answer 5

It's not normal, he has some sort of sexual problem and you shouldn't ever leave your daughter with him. I would finish the relationship if I were you, specially if you have a young girl because the worst part is he says it's normal (what else will seem normal to him?!). Make your bags an send for your stuff later, tell him your girl and you need someone different.

Answer 6

Okay, so now I know you are pulling our chain. This is the guy that is committing crimes that you want to call the cops on because they are getting ready for the once a years "Big Dirty" and now he is in high heels and a pink robe. Well I must say you are living up to your name. (At least in your fantasy world) I thought you were going to call the cops on him and get him thrown in jail? Maybe you should because they would just love him there. He would fit right in. And yes, if this were true, it would make him a little weird. Find you another sugar daddie!

Answer 7

Considering last night you had a really long and misspelled story about the fact that he's a criminal and about the do the "big nasty" and now this. I think you should probably find a new boyfriend, but it's starting to look like you kind of like the attention. Or actually, it's starting to look like you have nothing better to do that ask stupid questions and act like some ghetto basket case.

Answer 8

Well, I would say this is not normal, but that does not mean that he has a serious problem. Maybe he just likes to dress up. The next question is...what have you ever done that would have been embarrassing is someone caught you? I know there is something. We all have our secrets.

Answer 9

I dont necessarily think he is gay ..That would be for you to know If he has sex with you and seems to enjoy it then you have your answer to if he is gay or not? Bi perhaps..but i do know many men have this fetish about dressing up like woman. i myself don't understand it but your man is not the only one.
I could not let it go without a discussion though. You have to talk about this with him without judging or critism. Just tell him how you felt and tell him you would like to understand why men do this.
so long as you dont embarass him in this behavior things should go alright.
Just because he likes to dress up in womans clothing, doesnt mean he would harm your child. BUT before you allow him alone with her .you need to have this discussion ok.
to know excalty what goes on in his mind and what this does for him if anything sexual.

Answer 10

It's strange that if he is so casual about it, how come you only found out about it after he moved in? Because he realised that there is something odd.

Does he just want to wear it now and again? Does this change your sex life?

If you are worried about him being around your daughter, then if sounds as if your trust in him is broken. Maybe he needs to move out while you guys sort this out.