How can I learn to be lonely?

Question

Last christmas I had a boyfriend and he succumbed to cancer in august... he was the only one that understood me. Councilors don't really help me at all..it would be nice if someone could actually relate or have any advice on how to live a lonely life happily

Answer 1

Thats sad to hear...im sorry for your boyfriend... What I recomend you seeing is the movie "Into the Wild". Its a true story of a man seeking a solitary life away from people. But the main point of the movie is, happiness is only shared with people, meaning, you could only truely be happy when with others. So dont learn to be lonely, its not good for you...trust me. Go and find people. People you can enjoy, so you do live your life, not sorrowing a loss, but enjoying the only life you got.

Answer 2

i am sorry for you loss but the only thing i can ask you here is ...do you think your boyfriend would WANT you to be lonely...now i can say that easily but i know if my husband were to pass away i would be in the same boat as you are in ...i actually have a wonderful therapist and good friends and a great brother and they are very supportive but something like this i feel i would just want to crawl in a shell and never come out ....ok maybe one other question ... do YOU want to be lonely...because if you dont then you wont be truly happy and until you finish with your mourning you wont be able to find this answer inside yourself ...so let time be your friend right now....i just talked to my brother about this too and his answer was ....i live a single happy life and dont feel lonely ..there is a difference between lonely and being alone ...his wife didnt die but they werent good in a marriage together and are friends now but the point is he has been OK with being alone and NOT lonely in life...and believe me there are going to be people that come into your life that will know exactly how you feel and who knows hopefully down the line you will find that someone that will help you come to terms with your bfs passing...i wish for you all the best ...hugs from colorado

Answer 3

I can relate...the love of my life and absolute best friend was killed in a car wreck last November. I built my life around her and grew out of touch with most of my friends. Like you mentioned, she was the only one who really understood me, and I her. It has been about a year and 2 weeks now, and to this day I don't have many people in my life. I'd like to tell you that being lonely will be fine, but I don't think it ever will. You shouldn't seek or accept loneliness. People are social creatures by nature, and as far as I know, being alone hasn't provided positive results for me. I'm your definition of a loner, it's no way to live. Both of us will carry a sense of loss that will chew at us for the rest of our lives, but that doesn't mean we can't put ourselves out into the world again to find love and happiness. You can't catch a fish unless you cast the line, ya know? I'd urge you to try to be more social...you might just come across another special person that understands you. Or at least make some new friends. You never know unless you try. Come to think of it...I feel like a hypocrite telling you this. I should seriously take my own advise. My condolences.

Answer 4

You might want to be alone for a while, but not lonely. There are support groups for people who have lost someone to cancer. You might want to talk to people who have been through the same thing.

Answer 5

I am so sorry for your loss ...especially this time of year can be quite difficult...there has got to be someone you can talk to and maybe get a hobby or pet ...I handled a divorce with God and a dog.........