I told my ex we can not continue with our friends with benefits relationship because I deserve to be with someone who will not use me.He said he is not using me, and I think he really believes that hes not.I do have to see him often because we have a daughter together, he usually comes down on the weekends to visit.Why does he think hes not using me?Please help me figure this one out.We were together for 6 years, but he has anger issues so I had to leave him (no he did not abuse me or my daughter in any way). How do I make him understand that he is really just using me, maybe hes just comfortable with being with me intimately, but I need to move on, he said he could never love anyone ever again.What do you think about all this?
2007-12-06 16:39:40 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You see, he has this way just looking at me with those eyes he suckers me in, then I feel bad, hes really good at making me feel guilty about not doing him a "favor", I end up doing things I really dont want to do, because I dont want him to get angry and go on a rampage.
2007-12-06 16:47:16 · update #1
Well, he just texted me right now, saying just dont expect me to be nice. Whats up with that?He doesnt want to be with me, Ive tried to work things out with him? I just dont get it.
2007-12-06 17:08:12 · update #2
I think he is going to say whatever he can to get you to believe whatever he wants you to.
The only way to make him understand is by not allowing him to have sex with you from now on. Concentrate on finding yourself a man that will not use you.
2007-12-06 16:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a confussing mess this is.
When you continue to have intimate relations with someone after you have "broken up" with then. It means very plainly that you haven't really broken up with them. Sex isn't doing a favor like picking up the laundry or cutting the grass. It's just make things confussing...just like this is.
By continuing a relationship while at the same time claiming to have ended a relationship. He's pretty justified in thinking that you want to continue the relationship.
If you truly want to break up with him, it all needs to stop. If he is manipulating you into doing things you don't want to do, then you need to stand firm and tell him you don't want to have sex. Otherwise, he's still in the relationship and he's still running the show...yes?
2007-12-06 18:42:37 · answer #2 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you are being used then that should tell you something about your relationship. I understand a six year relationship is hard too leave considering their is a child involve. At the end day, this is a concern YOU must confront with; whatever you feel is best for you and your child.
2007-12-06 17:08:56 · answer #3 · answered by Javier M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are justified in what you did. You deserve a chance to know love that is committed and at the same time true. It's possible.
2007-12-06 16:56:44 · answer #4 · answered by babasbhakta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get some willpower. You were stupid to get involved like that in the first place. Of course he is using you and of course he won't admit it.
"No one can take advantage of you without your consent." -- Eleanor Roosevelt.
2007-12-06 17:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My take on this is that he wants to be with you and is hoping that you change your mind. He is thinking that you will let him back into your life eventually. He does not think that he is using you.
2007-12-06 16:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he's using you, but it takes two to tango. The using is mutual. If you want to 'move on' then do it, stop blaming it on him.
2007-12-06 16:42:55 · answer #7 · answered by Jody 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sure is using you really good or else you wouldn't be having sex with him.
2007-12-06 16:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by BitterSweet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's got other partners, he's using you. If not then he's not. You don't have to have sex unless you want to.
2007-12-06 16:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by lifelongskinsfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋