Is this acceptable or am I being too strict?

Question

My husband went for a haircut today, the song "crank" was playing on the radio and the hairdresser who happens to be a lady started discussing with my husband how she wondered what "superman that ho" meant, so she went online and checked it out and told him what it means .To whoever doesn't know what that means (when you ejaculate on a girls back then put a blanket on her so when she stands up the blanket sticks therefore making her look like she has a cape: coppied from urbandictionar.com) My husband came and told me that and I was furious, I thought it was EXTREMELY inappropriate that a girl discusses this topic with a customer, and I started accusing my husband that he gave her the chance to say such a thing. Because if it were me, I won't let another man discuss such a topic with me. Do you think I'm making such a deal out of nothing????

What makes me really really upset is that he came to me laughing about it, feeling like he is the king of teh world, whereas if it were ME who came to him with this story, and that a guy told me what superman that hoe meant he would have went balistic and maybe crushed the guy!!!!!!!!! I just feel I am so taken for granted

Answer 1

Funny... I would have reacted the exact same way. But, since I am on the outside looking in, it is easier for me to tell you the answer.

First, It was soooooooooooooooooo inappropriate, I would have hit the ROOF. You need to call that saloon and talk to the OWNER... not the manager, not the hairstylist, the OWNER.

Second, my husband is a dumba** like yours. They don't know how to speak up and say "Excuse me, it is not appropriate for you to speak to me like that". You and I, we are the type that would have spoke up and pointed out the faux pas on the stylist part. Husbands, and apparently yours and mine are alike in that department, they don't really speak up for themselves and to be honest, they probably didn't know what to say.

My guess is, she was flirting. It stroked your husbands ego. Men are simple like that... they are easily amused. They also don't always see the bad behavior that women might notice.

Tell him how you think it was inappropriate and how you feel he should handle such a situation again. Then call the owner. Let me tell ya .... that stylist wouldn't be having VULGAR conversations with a customer again after I was finished with her. Good Luck

Answer 2

Okay. She was way wrong to be discussing that in a professional environment with a customer, so she is an idiot. I too would call the salon and let the owner know, or if that's too embarrassing, write an email or letter. I don't care if she was his best friend since childhood, that is not the time or place to have that kind of nasty conversation.

So my annoyance would rest on her, not my husband. Unless he seemed to be flaunting it and acting like she was flirting with him and trying to make me jealous about it. THAT would irritate me.

So he's kind of an idiot too for even mentioning the conversation to you...do you think he was trying to upset you, or telling you because he knew you would be angry? See, that's a whole 'nother matter there. Is this a pattern with him, or with both of you, that you consciously or subconsciously try to make each other jealous and angry? Cause that's not good.

And lastly, you're only hearing his side of the story right now, so maybe if you write that letter, you might hear that it went down quite differently that he reported it...if so, then yes you do have a right to be upset with HIM.

But if he is innocent of having done anything to provoke this discussion, ease up on him. I think most men hate creating a scene worse than anything, especially one that makes a woman mad, so he just let her talk, and then laughed it off.

(I've never heard that term either, I can see why he thought it was funny, it is pretty weird and ridiculous if you think about it. Maybe he thought you'd think it was funny too and you could have a laugh about it together.)

(I mean, wouldn't the guy have to be shooting superglue for that to even work?)

Answer 3

Oh come on!! Give the poor guy a break. If he thought he was being inappropriate, he wouldn't have came home and told you. Also, he was probably thinking he was broadening your knowledge. Before this happened if a guy came and asked to "superman" you, you wouldn't have known what he was talking about. So you should give your husband a pass. Also, this is common talk for a barbershop. That's the place where men can and do talk about anything. If I were you I'd be glad that he actually had this convo w/a woman b/c with a man would be awkward.

Answer 4

Yes, it was inappropriate. People have no manners these days. A business owner shouldn't be talking about that stuff to customers, and your husband shouldn't have been talking to her about it either.

One of the reasons we have a lot of people in the world with no manners is because people think it's ok to say whatever they want wherever they want. Younger people notice this and it's no wonder we have a ton of morons in this country.

Oh, by the way, I'm a guy.

Answer 5

Don't get furious with your husband - you know, from your other question and answers, that it's not worth the fight with HIM.
I am often quite shocked at what hairdressers these days discuss with and in front of customers. I think you should tell your husband that you think that's just disgusting and you're going to report it.
If he's lied about it (fantasising again), then he's going to be extremely embarrassed isn't he.
And I would indeed report the girl to her boss. If it was my hairdressing business, I would be absolutely mortified to think that any staff member was saying something so wildly inappropriate at work, and worse still, to a customer.
Good luck to you!

Answer 6

No sweetie your miss reading him. For starters he came to you innocently and really thought you'd find it interesting or funny as he did. It wasn't something planned as you wrote about they stumbled upon it then the hairdresser wanted to know the meaning they looked it up and ta da thats what it meant. So naturally he came home and shared it with you.

If he wanted to be sneaky he wouldn't have even mentioned this to you. Now what you have done here by getting up set with him he will think to himself i will not share further things like this with my wife as she will get very upset.

You should have just listened and smiled if you didn't find it funny. he didnt' mean anything terrible about it.

Your more uptight and proper in that department I guess.

as far as if this happened to you and your husband would have been angry. well thats different. He see's you as his wife and not a hoe or some lose woman. So for your dignity and respect reputation etc.. naturally he would stand up for you.

Its different if its directed to a wife or someone he cares about . Your held in a diffferent regard he see's you in a different light.

Next time don't make a big deal about it. You miss read this.

Answer 7

yeah big deal, the hairdresser was just making small talk. I had no idea that phrase meant that OMG! If she knew, then it would be inappropriate. I think it was an hoest flub, so please settle down, you're getting me anxious.

To have a good relationship and not want the man to run away afte a decade, learn to see the bigger picture without assuming your love (or his haridresser) so guilty so early

Answer 8

In my opinion, you have every right to be UPSET. I am not so sure about FURIOUS, but I guess that depends on your husband. Do you trust him enuff to believe that he was just conversing with the woman to refrain from being rude? (Upsetting) Or do you feel like he might actually have asked for that type of conversation? (Furious) He did, however, feel like this was a significant enuff conversation that you needed to have knowledge of it. Only you know your husband. Only you can speculate on his motives. If there is one thing I have learned from my past relationships, it's that as women we sure do have some awesome intuition, but sometimes we let our hearts lead the way.... Good luck with your marriage. If this is the most trying situation your family ever comes across, you'll be one truly blessed woman.

Answer 9

I agree that he did not know the answer and knew she was looking it up. I would have told him also if I were her. He told you about it when he did not have to. I would let it go. It is inappropriate and I would not give her the opportunity in the future. She probably meant nothing by it except to tell him what he did not know.

Answer 10

I agree its inappropriate customer service, BUT, you're husband had the option to speak up and tell her that it was inappropriate and uncomfortable for him to listen to. If he chose not to say anything, that's his perogative. If it upsets you, you need to discuss it with your husband, and come to a compromise. Perhaps you can tell him how upset you are, and ask him to call the company and make a complaint about her.