My Auntie wants to give me the 'sex talk'...?

Question

I'm 18 and my Mum never gave me 'the talk' but of course I know all about that stuff.

Next year I'm moving out to live in a Hall of Residence (sort of like a dorm) in a different city.

My Auntie is quite intimidating, two faced and very patronizing. I pretend to like her.

She rung up this afternoon asking if my Mum had spoken to me about the ECP and other forms of contraception. I said no she hasn't, but I already know about it.

She wanted to know what I knew already and she said she'd fill in the gaps.

I really don't think I need to have this talk, but she is convinced I do...

Should I just listen to her, even though it's going to be extremely awkward?
Or
Should I tell her that I don't need this talk and even if I did it would be her place?

I'm a virgin and I've seen a lot and experienced a lot and I do know the risks and consequences.

Thanks..

My Mum and I do not get on. The only time we talk is if either of us want something, or if she wants to moan and whine to me..

My Auntie is a chemist. But I have spoken to my doctor about this before and the internet and sex ed at school.

I am cringing already!! I was cringing on the phone when she rung.

I know that I don't know everything. Not even close!
But this is personal and my sex life is private. Not something that I feel comfortable talking to a family about.
I have seen and experienced a lot more than most 18 years have but no where near know everything.

Guess who!- What is wrong about that?
Virginity can only be given away, not taken. I'm still a virgin.

H-Man- I dont think I want to know her 'experiences' eww lol. I DID NOT SAY I KNEW EVEYTHING please stop saying that I said I KNOW THAT I *DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!*

Answer 1

well you are smart enough to know about it, which you said you do. i think thats pretty damn good that you are a virgin at 18. atleast you waited. just let her know you know everythign there is about it and she doesnt need to tell you much more. you're careful and you know what you're doing. thats all i would tell her :)

Answer 2

Difficult.
You are right about the private life. If you feel awkward about talking about this, then that should be respected. You're old enough to get respect for your privacy.
On no account do you owe your aunt an account of everything you have and have not done (which she will brief to your mother! ! !).

On the other hand, you say you know everything, but you can't possibly know what you do not know. You can't know where the gaps in your knowledge are.
So if possible, I'd suggest you at least consider this talk, but not the way your aunt suggests it.
She can give you the rundown, and identifying the gaps is up to you - not to her.


Oh and by the way, I am not making assumptions on what you have or haven't done, but virginity is gone the first time you do 'it'.
You can't keep your fingers crossed or say 'this time doesn't count'. You don't get to choose which time it 'gone'. The definition is not that flexible.

Answer 3

She wants to be helpful, and she means well. Throw her a chance to feel like she's a good aunt.

As someone who has been ASKED to give "the talk" and as someone who has given kids "the talk" even if they think they know it all, it's important.

No matter what someone already knows, there's always some details they missed. Also, as an experienced person, we know we really NEEDED some of this information at some point and didn't have it.

Like any other hard won experience, you want to pass it on so someone else won't go through it the hard way. Some stuff I learned I PROMISE just about no one else knows.

Heck, come to think of it, I'll give you the talk too. When will you have time? :-)

Answer 4

You can get out of it by saying although you didn't have the talk with your own mom you learned all about it in health class in school and got an A. In other words, it's old news to you and not something you need further education on thank you very much. If you have to, prove it by having her ask you the answers to 2 questions and if you are correct the conversation stops there!

Answer 5

That would make me cringe. But if you try to put her off, she'll probably become more determined. She sounds that type, very persistent. Like a rash. So, best to sit through it, keep your eyes on the ground, and nod and agree a LOT. Or, you could finish her sentences for her whenever she begins to speak - that might cut 'the talk' short as she'll realise you know more than she though. Either way, enjoy - rather you than me! LOL!

Answer 6

Your Very Lucky to have an "Auntie" that wants to be that close to you! Just give her the benefit of the doubt and listen to her. If it is awkward for you just tell her how you feel. But it might be good to have "the talk" - I never did. And there is still some things I dont know.

Answer 7

I think you should talk to her to let her get it off her chest, and don't pretend you "know it all".
She may wish to share with you secrets of her own experience to try to explain things.
Watch out that she isn't just fishing, to find out about your activities, so watch what you say.
If the worst comes to the worst, tell her you feel uncomfortable
Finally, thank her for caring, if she thinks she has done a good dead, she is less likely to bother you again.

Good luck dear Wabby
The Old Fella from over the hills.

Answer 8

Hmm...I think you need to decide this for yourself, but if you don't want to have "the talk" with your aunt or don't plan on listening, rather than wasting both your and her time or feeling uncomforable, my advice would be to tell her politely that you would feel uncomfortable about having that discussion with her, and if she still expresses concern, maybe suggest that you could go to planned parenthood or just emphasize that you feel uncomfortable talking about it. Maybe she really is trying to help/is concerned about you, so telling her it's not her place seems a little unkind to me no matter if it's true or not. Good Luck

Answer 9

Honey you are an adult and you do not have to listen to her. It is not her place to do it anyway. Your mother never did this? I would tell her that you know all you need to and that 18 is a little late to inform you now. Tell her that since you had no one to tell you when they should have you educated yourself. Never let someone bully you into what you do not want. Anyone, friends or family. Intimidating people just need someone to stand up to them. When you do they stop bullying you. Good luck at school and be safe.

Answer 10

Your aunt is trying to be helpful in her way. It will probably be difficult to not talk to her as she will continue to push for the talk. Why not tell her you do not need to talk about this and if you do you are going to be very embarrassed and uncomfortable. Then is she still insists go talk to her like an adult in matter of fact way I don't think you have to answer any personal questions or things like that. Keep it to facts and knowledge.

Answer 11

i know you think you know everything but it usually turns out that you dont. if anything what could it really hurt to let her talk to you. it would make her sleep better at night and you wouldnt have to deal with her being all upset about the situation. if anything id act like you where really into it. lol it might suprise her. be ready with lots of questions, even if you know the answers. if anything ask her about the process of getting pregnant. what happens and such. just amuse the woman. i know its all silly to you now but i think oneday you will look back and laugh about it. even though you seem to be at ends with your aunt. she wants to do a good thing, you shouldnt try to stop her. but dont try to trick her either. tell her you think you know most of what you need to know, i wouldnt say everything thats prob what you got in this situation in the first place. 18 year olds who claim to know everything very rarely do. no offense, im sure everyone whos ever said they knew everything can say they where wrong. Just go with the flow and you might find that you two wont be at such a big disagreement with each other.

and just because you know the risks and have seen a lot dosent mean your ready for the transistion into that kind of temptation. nothing teaches like pure first hand experience. and everyone who knows everything seems to not know that.