I love my husband dearly, but he suffers from sever anxiety and OCD issues that have taken over his true personality. He has become angry and miserable. For the past year he has been on and off medications and will not consistently take them. He NEEDS to consistently take them. He has been verbally abusive for a good 6 months. We haven't spoken in 2 weeks.... I've been sleeping on the couch. I know this isn't the true person he is and that the anxiety is taking over him....but when is enough, enough. He honestly is a very caring and passionate man and I know he loves me deeply. When he stays consistent on his routine, we have a great life together.
We have been together for 10 years and I love him dearly but he is truly regressing. It is getting bad and he will not listen to reason. This truly is a mental illness and I vowed on my wedding day for better or worse...but I am just not willing to be treated this way. I don't know what to do..
2007-12-06 15:48:07 · 18 answers · asked by Keely L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
See if you can enlist the help of family, friends and medical staff to get him back on track. You need to stand firm and give him an ultimatum, agree to take your medication regularly, or lose your wife. You can't put up with his bad behavior for too long or it will affect your health too. Perhaps its the incentive he needs to get himself on track again? But if its not you will have to follow through with the threat. Are you strong enough to do that?
For better or worse does NOT include abuse.
2007-12-06 15:58:20 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes separating for a while can be an option. Do you have a place you could go for a while like a parents house or a close friend? During that time, say maybe 6 months, you could assure him that you love him but tell him that if he does not consistently take his medications as prescribed and stop with the abuse, then you are not coming back. Don't really treat it like a threat, but more of a promise, and that you love him, but will not stand for the abuse. Counseling during this process will be helpful too. I am no doctor though, just my thoughts. Good luck.
2007-12-06 15:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"He honestly is a very caring and passionate man and I know he loves me deeply. When he stays consistent on his routine, we have a great life together."
He needs to stay consistent. You need to get outside help for this. Show him how great life could be. In fact, life is way to short, go talk to him. The man you fell in love with, still in there. You need support. He needs medical attention. I'm touched that yo have suffered what nobody here could have an idea abut, but still, you are there. Be strong, do the right thing,,,find the support he needs for controlling his medications,,I'm sure if this happens, you gys will be allright! Big hug to you...
2007-12-06 15:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is not taking his medications as he should then I would leave. I'm more than sure he's aware of his behavior when he doesn't take them and if he's neglecting to do so purposely then you have the right to leave. You have been a good enough wife to stick around this long regardless of his bad behavior but I think at this point enough is enough. Let him know that if he continues to not take his medication like he should that you will leave. Don't threaten him, but follow through. How much more does he expect you to endure before YOU lose YOUR mind? It's not fair and although I do feel for your husband in his condition, he's been given somewhat of a solution/help, and he's not taking it, and you're the one who gets the sh*tty end of the stick. It's not right. Try talking to him if you haven't already and let him know what your plans are. If you get no positive feedback or cooperation, I say you leave and do it now.
2007-12-06 15:54:22 · answer #4 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since when was having a severe stroke labelled as a mental illness? And yes, if my spouse had a devastating stroke I would stand by them with all my heart. But there WOULD be changes in the relationship, there would have to be. I would stand by anyone I loved and cared about, not out of duty but because love shouldn't be fickle or weak in the face of hard times.
2016-04-07 23:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've got to put your foot down to save your marriage. If he should be on meds and is not taking the, it's unfair for you or others around this person ot suffer. I would sit him down and let him know that he HAS to take his meds, or you will have to move on so that you're not miserable. He will need to be a proactive pt. and there's only so much support you can give. While it's important to remember out vows, they didn't say anything about being treated badly all the time.
2007-12-06 16:02:45 · answer #6 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember the movie Beautiful Mind... you need to be strong and consistent. However, not everyone is made that way.
If this is taking it's toll on your health, you should take a break. However, if you love your husband, I don't think you will be comfortable being away from him.
I don't know what support system he has. If does have any other support other than you, then you must take a vacation.
Think about it. Sometimes you have to put your ego away with your loved ones.
2007-12-06 16:00:00 · answer #7 · answered by babasbhakta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not 100% sure, but if he is truly mentally incompetent, I think its a law that divorce is NOT an option. I think you need to check in on it. My uncle served in Desert storm, and well he is just not the same, and well his wife HAS to deal with it. And in my opnion, if you took your vows seriously you will too,. He didn't ;mean to be sick, nor plan it, it just happened. Yes its a struggle, but put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if the one you thought truly loved you walked out because suddenly with no control from your self you became less than "perfect"? Its a tough choice, all I can say is, you need to be 100% on your decision, he is already unstable, he needs nothings else added to it!!! good luck!
2007-12-06 16:06:02 · answer #8 · answered by donnakygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about counseling. It could be a mutual way for you two to talk through some of these issues without it ending in verbal abuse. Best wishes.
2007-12-06 15:54:48 · answer #9 · answered by DizziDazi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey it comes to the point enough is enough talk to him let him know you love him but you love your self more and you are not going to take being treated like a animal. you love him and you are trying to do the best you can for him you understand how he feels meet you at least half way and you will be there for better are worse
2007-12-06 16:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋