Have you ever met THE ONE after losing all hope of ever falling in love again ?

Question

I'm starting to get worried about myself. I'm 24 and I've never I had a serious relationships with a man. I've only had relationship where I end up having sex (too soon?) with a guy I've fallen head over heels in love with but that doesn't want to commit... with me.

My last relationship was beyond hard. When he left me for a girl he had been seeing for as long as he had known me (one year) but NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT IT, it put me in the deepest and darkest depression I've ever been through.

I've made some progress though because I now accept that we will never be together, fact with which I was in denial for many many months.

The thing I'm worried about is will I be played like this all my life ? My last 4 relationship (first one starting when I was 19) have all had the same pattern.

I feel like I've learned many things, but I've become so fragile and vulnerable, I can't even imagine ever falling in love like that again, I loved him way too much.

In need of some wisdom.

Answer 1

Learn from your mistakes.

Now that you have learned a bit about "guys", be patient and wait for a man.

Men do not treat women like this.

Good luck. I promise you will find your true love. In the mean time, I will pray for you.

Answer 2

Oh honey.
I am so sorry. You sure do have a broken heart.

You have to look at this like a death. Because to us that have had our dreams shattered like you. It IS a death. And do you know,little sweet... People that have been happy with their husbands for many years experience your same feelings after their husbands pass away ? You need grief counseling . The good news is that YES they DO find love again. But not just like the last one. This one has different needs and these ladies grow in their new knowledge! Think about your first lover.was he the same as your favorite male teacher? Of course not! But you loved them both. Just in a different way.
You are very young yet and this time its a great thing! You need to be retaught.
What kind of man do I want? Will he be my best friend? will he be a wonderful daddy? Can he fix the washer? OK will he try? Will he rub my feet.will he tell me he loves my mom?
will he be kind to animals? Once you know WHAT you want you WILL find who you want and THEN where they are hiding out ;)
I hope this is the wisdom you were looking for :)

Answer 3

i think that u should probably take time now to slow down and go out to have fun and let go of your hurt now.u have been through alot and i think looking never really helps,be careful now and take things slow,men like achallenge,when they get u so easily they tend to leave as fast as they came.go 2 the liberary and read self help books,they could help u to better understand yourself and teach u to be more confident in yourself.i think u should have more confidence in yourself and when u do u will realize that even when things dont work u know u have done your best and its not all your fault.dont beat up yourself too much,because these things happen and we all get hurt at some point in our lives.one day u will b stronger and u will find that u could move on alot easier if this happens again.i hpoe that u find a good man though and i hope u get take care of yourself,if it helps ive been hurt so bad a fe w times that i couldnt even get out of bed sometimes,but now im happy i was hurt but now i ve learned 2 move on when things dont work,ive found someone now and im happy.you will get a good guy just b patient ,good luck

Answer 4

What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger!

Now you've known heartache and sadness so when you do fall in love again you'll have the ability to embrace it so much more. You have been given wisdom in your tribulations - now run with it.

Maybe all this has happened to help lead you to someone who was meant for you. In the end, it will work out for you.

Take a break from guys, don't look, just enjoy life and something will come along. Good luck! :)

Answer 5

"but I've become so fragile and vulnerable",,,this is what you need to work on. Focus on getting yourslf to a place were you know that no matter what you will be the one with the upper hand. Relax,,,you are still very young. When I got divorced at 30 I thought it was the end and I was never to meet the ONE. I had three children from my first marriage, a hefty child support, a nasty custody battle. What girl in her right mind was going to date me. To make things worse, I was broke. But I did met the one. I was not looking, it just happnned. We fell in love and being married now for 7 years,,,If I found love,,believe me you will,,Just believe in yourself so no man can hurt you again...good luck to you!

Answer 6

Get used to being alone. Learn to be alone without being lonely. I would love to tell you details about how after over a decade of hopelessness I found my soulmate (and vice versa) when I thought it was something that never happened in real life. Unfortunately, because of confidentiality and privacy I can't tell you anything more than this (i) because its the internet, and (ii) I would have to ask permission. Darn. There are lots similarities. ...
Look, be prepared to wait for years and years maybe 10 more years. How does that feel to you? Get to know and love yourself. Finding true love can come like a lightning bolt out of the blue, but don't spend your life looking for it. Try not to get addicted to romance novels and fantasies that just make you lonelier. Have a group of close girl friends and don't settle for some jerk just to have a man in your life (it sounds like you already know this). It seems to be that women end up single more than men do as time goes by.

Answer 7

You have learned many things and I will teach you more:

1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage ruins relationships(moving in is the same)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth if not just
keep believing the lies you hear from
everyone around you.

Answer 8

Youre way too young to be looking for a serious relationship, but you do have the insecure girl trauma, falls in love real fast and goes to bed instantly, if you give the milk out, whos gonna buy the cow??
this way youll end up kissing a lot of frogs and never getting the prince, love yourself first, the man of your dreams will come afterwards.
good luck

Answer 9

Hey! Take some time out of the dating and relationship scene. Concentrate on developing yourself and why don't you do some workshops in art, reiki, etc... Like that you can focus all this energy you usually invest on men on yourself and you can grow from it and find some balance in your life. Stay positive and good will come your way soon!

Answer 10

I know how you feel and promise when you least expect it love will be there. You dont need to give up in finding your love because he is there but stop trying to find him when it is ready he will come. I had the problem of thinking I was always going to be lonely and tried to find love in everyman I met and in everyman I met I found heart ache and pain. Love is not something you can make happen it happens on its own and when its ready it will be there. You have to learn to let go and know that you cant force it. It will hert to be lonely but it herts worse to think you've found it and come to realize that you were used. Let it go dont give up in the thought of love and dont give up in the next guy being him but let go in the thought that the next guy is him. When its ready it will come. Hold your head high and be strong he is out there it will just take time. Good Luck.