I am alcoholic. trying to maintain sobriety. couple slips but getting better. I want to give my wife the security and support that a husband should. She divorced me last year because I didnt meet her emotional needs. she wasnt looking but someone came into her life and and met her needs. a reward from God she thought. I told her it was a test. She said she failed then. I moved on missing her terribly. 4mo later she told me of her mistake. promissed all and would never quit again. 4 mo and filed again. My love and respect for her has grown with every problem we have overcome. I love her unconditionaly. She says she loves me truly but cant risk my possible relapse and her security. Is divorce the only option for her or is it an excuse to leave because her feelings of love for me have changed?
2007-12-06 15:11:00 · 8 answers · asked by Darcy M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
forgot to add that we were married again 4 mo after her mistaken divorce from me
2007-12-06 15:54:49 · update #1
and her security,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, you nailed it!
She is watching herself, and not you. Since it takes 2 whiling partners to form a relationship, I'd say theres an imbalance here.
As hard as I can imagine, I'd close this chapter of your life and move on.
Good luck!
2007-12-06 15:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by Nana Butterfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is so into God, then why hasn't "in sickness and in health" meant anything to her? Religious or not, being there in the hard times PROVES love. You can't just walk out because something "might" happen, she lets on like she is all "HOLY' yet her actions tell me, it makes nice conversation. Alcoholism is a disease, a SICKNESS, you didn't choose to be addicted. if she really loved you, she would be there to "help" instead of running away. I think you need to find TRUE love and let her move on too. She uses you as a crutch when her "personal" life isn't up to par with its normality. Give her the boot, get your rehab, and find a REAL woman.
2007-12-06 15:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by donnakygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confusing. She told you of her mistake. What mistake? Unclear! Filed for divorce again? I thought she already divorced you.
There are ways to change, but the only way to prove that you have changed is over a long period of time. "couple slips" - this is crap. That means that you need more change before you can get back together with her. You need ZERO SLIPS for years.
Try al-anon, or look up Celebrate Recovery.
2007-12-06 15:27:41 · answer #3 · answered by mk_gecko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband is a alcoholic also. I've been down the road with all the re-hab centers, stoping and starting over and over again. he verbally abused me. I'm here to tell you that after a while it gets old. he apologies for what he has done each time after getting sober. but like i told him that too also gets old. i have cancer and he was drunk at night staying in the hospital with me. when i needed him the most, he was getting drunk. i have stuck with him for 17 years now, its so hard to forgive and forget. you don't realize what you are doing to her emotionally. i use to hope he would just get drunk and go to sleep so that i wouldn't have to deal with the situation. I'm sure that she still loves you, but can she go down that emotional roll-a-coaster ride again. are you going to change and stay that way. when life gets tough and crap just seem to keep happening are you going to turn back to alcohol? an alcoholic can find any excuse to go back to drinking. I'm sure she has her doubts and you have to realize where she is coming from. Hope thinks work out for the both of you!
2007-12-06 15:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both should go to counseling and you should go to some type of rehab. If you love her dont let her go. Dont hert the one that loves you most in life. I know addictions are hard but if you love her you can break it and if you both love each other yall can work through this. Good Luck.
2007-12-06 15:24:22 · answer #5 · answered by BWife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
has she been to any of the al-anon meetings...they address this and many other issues that she as well as you are dealing with..and as aa gives you the steps to follow al-anon offers insight and support and tools for her...and above all God and prayer...pray together ..find syour strength together
2007-12-06 15:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by kay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a sponsor and ask him this question!
Work the steps! The answers are there within.
2007-12-06 15:14:52 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave her a good enough excuse to divorce you. Let it be.
2007-12-06 15:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋