i am moving out we have 6 kids and a grandchild on the way. i still love her. she says she lives me ,but wants to give this guy a chance. she is driving me nuts!!!! what can i do to eleaviate her confusion?
2007-12-06 14:55:26 · 14 answers · asked by mitymite73 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
note:she is 33 & i am 34!
2007-12-06 15:58:55 · update #1
kick her out, man, she's using you in case things don't work out with this other guy!
Instead of trying to make the marriage work after all these years, she wants to go on a honeymoon with another dude, but is stringing you along because this guy hasn't fully committed to her yet!
If you stay and be her biotch, this will be a challenge to the other guy! It will feel passionate to steal kisses and more behind your back!
If you go, then he sees her as this woman who will be desperate for him to commit, since her sugar daddy soon-to-be ex won't be pay their to create this tension and support her.
Move out and when she has to watch her 6 kids all week long, this guy will probably bail and then she might come crawling back to you. In the meantime, get yourself back in shape.
Stop being a doormatt to this ho and her homewrecking lover!
Build your soul through meditation (check for group meditation in your area or www.meetup.com) and what's your passion? Art, music, whatever, nurture it, let it bring you alive, and then connect with others to share it, etc. Get exercising, join a gym, see the hot bodies there, you'll be one of them soon too! Patience though and consistent persistant realistic daily action man!
Get a nice haricut, some new clothing, a sexy cologne like Eternity.
It's ok, mourn, let it out, get a good therapist who does both wholistic and traditional but man, re-read what you wrote, how can you keep playing this game with this chick? how dare she do this to the father of her 6 kids? Fack her dude, it's not too late! You can still be there with the kids and find local dating for older dudes clubs! We have one hear called SOS and many lovely folks and new marriages! Second time can be a charm, especially if you learned from the mistakes of your first! Talk to family and friends and therapist to see unbiased picure of yourself!
You may still love her, but you got to love yourself first! You deserve better! You can't alleviate her confusion! She wants out and wants new love but it isn't certain so she's stringing you along! Whn she finds a certain love, she will leave! Unless it doesn't work out and she gets humilated bad by new love! But as long as you create tension for new lover to make him feel he is doing something risky like stealing another man's woman, she get high on that with him! But if she all alone and nothing to fall on...she doesn't look so hot after while, especially with six kids!
If you're worried about $ in divorce...just separate from her and get a PI to prove infidelity! Get a small little studio apartment on month-to-month for now (unless you got a nother friend in same boat you could room with for awhile. Leave her with just enough money so the kids ok, but not enough for her to waste it on champagne, gifts, etc with this new dude.
2007-12-06 15:49:42 · answer #1 · answered by Jack Bent 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, it sounds like she is letting you down easy. or so she is "trying". After 6 kids, and a soon grandchild, she should only be thankful for a husband who has given he a good life, and a great family. It sounds to me that she is ready to be "young" again. What an example for you children/grandchildren. She wants to give this "guy" a chance. So basically she is saying, well we did this for ALL these years and yeah you proved you will be here, but hey what about him, hes so this and that. In all honesty, you need to give yourself a chance at LOVE,and find a suitable grandmother/wife. If you guys have children and grandchildren, and have made it this long, why would she suddenly decide your not good enough, in my opinion, she has been giving this "guy' a chance for FAR too long already, let her go, take whats yours and tell her hey, let him have a chance at giving you all that I GAVE you!!!!! you don't deserve a woman who is willing to risk all you have together for someone else, love is forever, no till I am ready to move on. God bless, may you find TRUE happiness/love.
2007-12-06 15:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by donnakygirl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'd have written something else if it weren't for the final 3 strains. You left the domicile? Come on, wisen up! So, what are you attempting to rescue? Your marriage? Sorry, yet it somewhat is proper to the domicile and to the youngster and to changing the easy bulbs and to coming back to an identical place/human beings for seven years. You´r putting up a combat from around the line? If he needs a wreck and you're fairly waiting to "do regardless of" is necesarry then i'd sugest you only enable him take a wreck. yet I recommend from all that your marriage represents! in case you go away then you somewhat are taking the wreck, no longer him! He can no longer think of it over sitting at his very own settee and gazing his very own television jointly as your'e out! Now that does'nt recommend you may desire to "come again and make him go away". besides the undeniable fact that it is your place and that's the area the place your marriage unfolds so if he would not such as you or your marriage or your youngster then he would desire to make up his strategies and hit upon a place he feels gentle in. you like him so he shouldn't problem you. ok so possibly he's cheating on you or he only would desire to screw somebody else he has a crush on yet he would not have the nerve to do it and afterwords act as though no longer something occurred whilst he's with you. nevertheless, while you're fairly waiting to "do regardless of" then stay positioned! He would finally end up with somebody else (that's a danger) yet whilst he does then he will would desire to pass away! yet whilst he realizes which you're what he needs how can he return to you? you are the guy who's long gone!
2016-11-13 22:39:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You alleviate the confusion in all this by kicking her *** out. Nothing annoys me more than stories where people say, "my spouse cheated, but I still love her and she still loves me, but she's going to move in with some other dude and bang the crap out of him while we both figure things out, etc etc."
You don't force people to love you or be faithful. Anyone who cares about their spouse would never cheat in the first place.
Usually what happens is this: When her new boyfriend gets sick of pumping her, she'll be wanting back in with you. See, he never really loved her or had any intentions of being serious, he was just getting a piece of *** on the side. Then when he's done, she'll be trying to get back with you. Are you that stupid?
Sorry to be blunt about it but hey, you asked!
Good luck to you!
2007-12-06 21:12:41 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slap her untill she takes responsibility for what she has done!
- said in jest.
When a partner cheats it was their action to do so. The appropriate action to take before one begins attracting the attention of others is to break up or seek counciling. If it were me, I would have left her immediately afterward and not let her blame her actions on anyone but herself. Afterall, you hardly forced her to have sex with someone else, she did it, from start to finish.
2007-12-06 15:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by Judo Chop 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
she's already chosen him over u, and why would u want to be second best. she says shes confused, because she isn't sure of the other man, but wants to keep u there just in case. its not fair to u. when this happens and they openly admit they want someone else, its time to get out of it for the sake of your own sanity. time apart will just make it worse, when problems occur its time to work them out, not bring a new person into your life.
2007-12-06 22:31:10 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do NOTHING to help her at this point. She's trying to tell you that she doesn't want to be with you but she still wants you to hang around "in case" she needs you for something.
THAT is horribly wrong, and you should be insulted. She doesn't love you, she's using you for a safety net.
To alleviate confusion, FILE FOR THE DIVORCE.
2007-12-06 15:02:27 · answer #7 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let her go and she how fast she try to come back with you, that guy isn't going to stay with her long, she have too much baggage.
2007-12-06 15:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by dbrh_soto 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
She just wants to fcuk around with this guy and if things dont work out with the guy, have the security youll receive her with open arms, question is, how stupid can you be???
2007-12-06 15:01:03 · answer #9 · answered by suehellen 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Leave and never look back, support the kids...
2007-12-06 15:02:36 · answer #10 · answered by prop4u 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋