Help, go back to school? What do I do? I have spent my life taking care of my kids working two jobs and never really got ahead of all the bills. I have lots of friends but they don't keep me warm at night. My husband is gone so much and he just doesn't understand I need to be with him more. What do I do?
2007-12-06 14:43:58 · 29 answers · asked by ahunners 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can see why you would feel so lonely. I think any of us would be feeling this. Is there anyway you could join your husband part of this time? Perhaps, a few weeks ever so often?
You know, I really do not know your situation but, I will say this, if it were me, I would be seeking the answer to this question, through prayer! If anyone can change things, for the better...it is God!
I hope you do not mind but, I want to lift you up in prayer as I know what lonliness feels like! I pray God replaces your loneliness with joy and through prayer, restore more time to you, with your husband. May He restore your joy of new romance and the two of you know that God loves you both and desires you both to be happy!
I pray the best for both of you,
gail...E-mail if you just need to talk!
2007-12-06 14:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and hava this chat with him that hm being gone 80% of the year is tearing you apart, not to mention you're not sure he is faithful and may have a hidden family.
If he's a really good man, he'll try to find a way so you're not so lonely this much!
If he's an a$$, it'll probably show this isn't going to change and he may have a sweet on the side somewhere.
If you file for divorce, you would get house and alimony, right?
*Well, why don't you start preparing, have this discussion, see how he reacts and if things change. In the meantime, start saving money, get yourself a job somewhere to pass time, meet people, and save more money. Check out group meditation or yoga for your soul. Figure out what your passion is, be it music, art, dancing, sport, etc and nurture it! Take lessons! Share it! You'l meet other people tooo.
Hit the gym or get some good exercise DVS.
The more you get out there, the more you'll see what's available, and start building a soical network..especially with fine men!
And it will further encourage you to take care of yourself and save money.
Then when the time is right, and your hubby still don't change, then leave him and try to get everything!
300 days is too much. He should be with you minimum one week per month and lots of calls/emails, etc.
2007-12-06 16:08:06 · answer #2 · answered by Jack Bent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are grown up. Your husband isn't home 300 days a year. Time to move on because he has already. If you don't think a man has a warm body every night and he is gone that long you are crazy. Here are the facts of life:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage ruins relationships(moving in is the same)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth if not just
keep believing the lies you hear from
everyone around you.
2007-12-07 00:31:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahunners... I know what it is like to have a lot of extra time on one's hands. I also work 5 weeks out of this country, and then get 5 weeks back at home - so I totally understand the loneliness you are feeling.
will going back to school fill the emptiness? I'm not sure it will. but really...will all the books in the world do much for the heart? What it will do is improve you, greater critical thinking skills, new bases of knowledge, and so on.
What I would also be willing to do, is pray and ask God to renew the flame in your husbands heart. To remind him of what a great lifetime partner he has had for 40 years, and to give your husband a yearning to be home with you when away. You deserve your husband...this is the man you made the committment with, and I truly believe, with God's help, the flame can be restored!
† Travelling Prayer Warrior †
2007-12-07 11:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, Maybe you could join some church functions.or do some volunteer work. Try to keep your mind occupied. I will pray for you that you find the inner piece that you are missing. I used to be alone all the time to. I just talk to the Lord. He is a great and wonderful friend when you are lonely. He loves you and wants you to be happy. Try reading a good book until you are tired enough to fall asleep . The holy word is a good place to start. The Lord says I will never fore sake you. I know he is with you so you are never alone. God Bless you, and my you always have a warm feeling in your heart to replace the lonely one. Hugs to you. Have a good evening with the Lord.
2007-12-06 18:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you only see your husband 2 months out of a year then it takes 6 yrs to spend one years worth of time together. Thats sad. Why not move closer to where he works. If he is in the military move on base with him. If he is a truck driver hit the road with him.
In the mean time, go get a job, go to school or do something to keep you busy. Tell him how you feel.
2007-12-06 14:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only job that could keep you away from home for 300 days a year pays very well, is you have the money spend it, go back to school make friends, do you even love your husband?? i dont think you even know him anymore if hes gone for so long, get a divorce and start over, youre way too young to give up happyness...
2007-12-06 14:53:34 · answer #7 · answered by suehellen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've done a wonderful job raising your family, but it's time to find a new purpose in life. While this can be scary, it is also a wonderful and exciting time! Is there anything that you've always wanted to do, but haven't ever had the time? Go back to school, take up a new hobby, etc. Now is the time! Hope you have a blast!!!
2007-12-06 14:50:31 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit down with your husband and talk. if he is gone that much it may be that he thinks the marriage is over and hasn't told you yet! You are never too old to go back to school if for nothing else but yourself and if you pick the right field you may even find another careet that you will enjoy, nursing perhaps. If he is a trucker as one answer suggests, you should be able to go with him as many wives of truckers do. If he can't find more time to be with you or you with him, you have to consider divorce in order to meet someone who cares enough for you to want to be with you. Good Luck to you!
2007-12-06 15:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should get anouther job and make it something that you enjoy doing. Build relationships thru work and focus on the friends that you already have. Let your husband know honestly how you feel and if he is a caring person and wants you to feel loved, then maybe he will stay home a little more often.
2007-12-06 14:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by replexgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋