He always calls me and says are you bussy and then he starts to talk to me all sweet and say's he made a mistake and when I ask he if he still cares about me he says that Im better off without him. Everyone tell's me that he is with someone else and it's only been four months since we seperated. My son even said he over heard him tell her I love you. How can you stop loving someone that has been married for 11 yrs.
2007-12-06 12:58:18 · 22 answers · asked by shygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he misses the convenience of marriage... but likes the freedom of being out of it. he doesnt know what he wants and is pulling you and this other girl into it.
you dont have to stop loving him... but you have to let him go.
2007-12-06 13:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Stevie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he just wants to keep his options open, string you along until he decides what to do with his latest fling. I don't know why the marriage ended, but sometimes we love people even though we leave them. There can be many reasons for a marriage to go wrong other than lack of love.
To answer your question, you can't will yourself to stop loving someone. I think it is especially hard if they left you and you had anticipated spending your life with them. A man I loved left me years ago, and even though I have had other relationships I still love him. There was just never any closure to my feelings, probably never will be. He returns periodically, and I cave in and my old feelings return, then he always leaves again. A terrible cycle to find yourself in. Don't get caught up in that kind of life with your ex, have the courage to start a new life and find someone else.
2007-12-06 13:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're only shot at getting your ex back is to follow the right steps that will make her ask you to get back together. Learn here https://tr.im/WQ7MW
Maybe if you broke up with her, then you might be able to be the one who brings up the subject of getting back together. But if you can do it without, it would be much better. But how do you get someone back without seeming desperate? In order to get your ex girlfriend attention, you have to show value without telegraphing your interest in her, while at the same time initiating interaction. So don't ignore your ex texts and calls when they break up with you. It screams that you are so devastated by the breakup that you can't even handle talking to her. You want to respond to her, but do it in the right way. You can even initiate communication if you do it in the right way. You have to maintain a strong frame of confidence, and show your ex girlfriend that your happiness isn't dependent on being with her
2016-04-24 01:13:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He tells you this "that Im better off without him" as a nice way to say I don't want to be with you anymore. He probably dose have someone new but if you really want him back you can wait until they have problems then I'm sure he will come running back with his tail between his legs! You deserve better, try and move on if you can, if not, sit back and wait for him to decide what your gonna do with the rest of your life.
2007-12-06 13:07:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to miss someone you were with for 11 years, hell even 1 year, but you have a child together & that's a strong bond...he may be telling the new girlfriend that he loves her jsut b/c he is reeling from his feelings for you & he wants to get them out OR...he doesn't want you to be with anyone else & thinks that if he fills your head with the ideas of him still loving you & missing you that you will "wait" for him to come back & save your marriage after he's done with the girlfriend...I'm sorry, I may not offer anything good but somethings to think about.
2007-12-06 13:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't love you because if he did he'd still be single and not with someone else telling her he loves her..lol Seriously. He has mental issues and obviously has one foot in and the other one out with his girlfriend or whatever she is. Why do you bother talking to him? By doing that you're only feeding into his bs. Who needs that? I was with my husband for 8 years, with a LOOOONG separation now finally tying loose ends on our divorce. I went through times that I thought I was still in love with him and wanted to be with him. But I found out I was in love with the IDEA and with the PAST when things were good. We weren't good together anymore. Now I'm over it and don't even talk to or deal with him anymore. I like it that way.
2007-12-06 13:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't even been married, yet i know exactly what you mean. I suffer the same problem with an ex-bo. I still love him even tho im quite sure that he has found somebody else. So when u get an answer thats helpful make sure to tell me.
2007-12-06 13:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Jennell C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the bum, he is a player. Find a better man out there. I know a guy who is doing the same thing. He cheated on his wife while they were married. Now they are divorced and he is playing her at the same time he is trying to play others.
A leopard never changes his spots.
2007-12-06 13:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by zento1110 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is co-dependent and needs someone there. Plus he is selfish in supplying his own momentary needs at cost to others. He probably loves you in his own warped way. He is manipulating you with his self pity by telling you you are better off without him. Without knowing the reasons you split, I can't say anymore except that his idea of love not well developed.
2007-12-06 13:03:05 · answer #9 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know my dear if your ex-husband still had any feelings for you still just know to begain with you would still have him and you would be with him instead of the other woman.
most likely he is trying to see if theres some one else new in your life. the way to view this look back when you were with your ex- look at it real good and then look at your life now which life do you like better, how your life was back then and look how your life is now. I have been there and already been though it and when I look back in my life today I think God for my knew life I have now and I wouldn't trade my life now for my pass life back then.
good luck I wish you the best try not to fall for his acting. he doesn't want you to have a new life and a new and better man then what he wasn't.
2007-12-06 13:09:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you get over him and him over you is that you have to start dating and become very busy every time he calls you up, even if you don't have anything to do you need to start making up a busy life style. Only talk with him if it is regarding your child needs
2007-12-06 13:13:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋