Fiance Left and wont come home.?

Question

. We just Had a BIG FIGHT! I really want a dog. I have had a dog my whole life, but once I got engaged and moved away, I left our family pet home. He is a cat person and we have 2 cats in our shared home. At first he was all for getting a dog etc etc...but now he says he doesn't want one. I told him thats we got 2 cats because he wanted and beg for a kitten. I told him that its' not fair that he calls all the shots in our relationship..We started screaming calling each other selfish. I said leave the house if your going to talk with me with disrespect, and he said ***** Off! and left and slammed the door. Has anyone been in my position where a spouse left over a long argument? What do I do?. His Cellphone is on our floor so I can't reach him.

Answer 1

Wait it out. He'll come back. We always do.

Answer 2

You did the right thing telling him to leave rather than being disrespectful, a loving couple can argue without disrespect. He is being extremely selfish, he should have taken your request into mind, before a second cat. That alone should tell you who this relationship is about, not only were you "not" worth a second thought, you were worth, no thought at all. What you were worth, was disrespect and abandonment, untill you learn your place and come begging. And during that time, it will be your job to be responsible for the creatures "he" loves. Does this tell you anything? One does not need a crystall ball? Listen up,honey, you are living common law, a man see's this as married. You are not seeing your fiance, you are seeing the husband you chose. Marriage gets no better, you have seen all the love and honour your entitle to, will you have him stand before the alter of God, and lie to you infront of him as well, you have already seen what that little piece of paper means. Just because you love someone does not mean they are good for you. These are supose to be the best times. After marriage things become a hell of a lot more stressful. Animals be damed, what happen when kids come, do you think his selfishness will disappear? How old is he?, it took him that long to become who he is, it will take a hell of a lot longer for him to get out of it. If he returns, it should be of his own free will and he should have an apology and be ready to talk. If he does not return in a day or so, i would leave. And rethink this relationship. It will not last under these circumstances, i guarantee that, marriage gets a lot harder down the road, after you've been together for several years, you need someone to relie on and he is not the man, unless you can get him to go with you to counseling. He will refuse to go, i'll tell you that right now, because he's the one who will totally control this relationship.

Answer 3

Well just think what the fight will be like if one of you wants a kid. If you are fighting this much over a dog, its a good thing you aren't already married.

What to do is this, wait for him to come back. If he does, see if he has calmed down and it willing to discuss this. No not the dog issue, the calling each other names and talking to each other in such a disrespectful manner. If you two can't resolve the hurt, you certainly shouldn't get a dog together. And you should go your own way. Not about the dog, but about the rest of it.

Answer 4

He'll come back when he's cooled off. Ask WHY he's changed his mind about getting a dog. Perhaps it's the specific breed you want, perhaps it's the shedding everywhere, perhaps it's the smell. Once you figure out the problem, you can try to find a solution.

And this time, don't call names or raise your voice. If the discussion gets heated, drop it and leave it alone for a couple of weeks.

Answer 5

If you guys can't see eye to eye on a pet, you probably aren't right for each other.

It sounds like you are both being selfish and while a family pet is nice, there are so many more important things in life like:

Why are you together?
Do we want to have a baby?
Are we mature and secure individuals?
Are we on control of our future and our destiny?

If you guys are so reactionary that you can't resolve this, consider breaking up. You don't want to have such fights with children in the house!

So, what do you do now? wait and think. Think really hard about what's really important in life. Think about whether you want to stay the rest of your life with this guy.

Think it thoroughly and carefully. Then explain your thoughts to your man.

If he doesn't come back, your decision will already be made.

Answer 6

give him a day or two to calm down first off, my husband left for a day to his mothers house i wanted him gone and he left, but came back the next day, perhaps this fight was over more then just getting a dog, maybe some marriage counseling before you actually get married settle some differences, I am not saying that it is wrong to get angry and scream, I would be way to hypercritical if I did, but I would say you have a lot to work out a dog is a small thing to fight about now, wait until you have children and try and agree on how to raise him or her, proceed with caution and the best of luck.

Answer 7

You could both grow up... begging and whining for a pet like we are 3 years old, isn't very mature...

Sometimes we need to compromise. You already have two cats.. with vet bills and food, i'm sure they cost enough.

Perhaps wait until a time when it's better to have a dog in your life. Apparently now isn't the right time.

Acceptance....

Answer 8

Well, you told him to leave so now you have to wait. He knows that you can't get hold of him and he's going to milk it. You mention that you said that he calls all the shots. It sounds like the argument has more to it than just the issue with the dog. You should think about what it is you meant and then go from there.

Answer 9

Let him cool off, then talk to him, when he is back wait until he starts talking. Don't argue, or fight, if he is stubborn and doesn't allow you a dog, then get rid of his cats.
He has to understand there two way street. Good luck!

Answer 10

If you tell someone to leave the house, expect that they might just do that.....

you didn't have a dog when you got married.....you married [and took your vows] dogless.....when change comes to a relationship, both parties should be willing for the cahnge...if one of them is not; then the change should not occur, because default status in your case is DOGLESS; default being the condition at the moment of taking vows.....

had you had a dog prior to getting married, then everything would be different.....

I believe he is in the right.....


if he had told you he wanted to have a sexchange after marriage....would you agree? no default satus is the condition of things at the moment of the vows....


I really can't believe that a pet is having a devastating impact on your marriage...come on, is the dog that important to you?

Answer 11

It isn't something to leave someone over. He needs to cool off and will be back. A lot of dogs can get along really well with cats.