Couples Counseling..... Success or Disaster?

Question

Okay so me and my fiance have been talking about getting a couples counselor for some personal issues we have been having within our relationship...I just want to hear peoples feed back on the successes of going or the disasters that have happened, and if there are other ways of talking about things without fighting or things getting out of control... (THIS WAS OUR LAST OPTION AND IT HAS FINALLY CAME TO IT)...

Our "arguments" I meant are just like any other couples extreme arguements...

Answer 1

I think it is a great idea to attend couples counseling. To me, it shows that both of you are clearly aware that there are problems in a relationship (instead of ignoring them or sweeping them under the carpet). It shows that you two really love each other and want the relationship to work out. Couples counseling will help put a third person into the scene. Because there are only two of you and when you fight, you see your side and she she's her side. It becomes difficult to see each other's side and with a counselor, hopefully he will help both of you to see things in a different perspective that you may otherwise not have discovered and also to help you communicate in ways where there is less fighting and more discussing. Good Luck to ya!

Answer 2

It brings out the real issues, helps you decide if you can really stay with that person in the long run. We faced the same thing and decided to go our pastor who said my fiance had a chip on his shoulder and was concerned about his temper. We still got married, and I stayed for the second income even though I eventually despised him for his emotional abuse, which I learned to ignore, but bottom line I did stay for financial security. 10 yrs later I was faced w/divorcing an ill tempered, borderline maniac and I did it, but it was not without a price. We both ended up better off financially, we even went to more counseling mid way through the marriage. At the end of the day, he still blamed me for his temper, yet he was the one crying so hard that it was over. If you have problems i believe you can work them through as long as you both are trully friends, i can say that now because i've found my forever guy for 7 yrs, still in love, and great respectful friends.

Answer 3

A young married couple I know had a good journey with counseling. Both of them were committed to making the marriage work, but there were some big issues to address. Through solid, loving, Christian, professional counseling, they are now happier and stronger and more in love than ever. A true success story!

Answer 4

Couples counseling only works if YOU WORK the program... otherwise, don't bother going.


Our parents in usually teach poor communication skills and most of us arent' prepared to compromise, discuss issues calmly, and be individual team members... one person always seems to want control, or neither can agree.

It's really ok to agree to disagree without a knock down, drag out fight.

I have found you some links for information about couples counseling and what it is. If you want more info, you can do what I did to find these -- a yahoo search for WHAT IS COUPLES COUNSELING?

i hope it works out.. take care !

Answer 5

Hi,
If he agrees to see the counselor go for it, what is there to loose.
If you don't get help and you go separate way you will always wonder maybe you should have got the needed help. Even it is a disaster at least you have done everything to save this relationship.
All the best!

Answer 6

it really depends on how much or how little BOTH people put into the counseling. look towards the counselor as an objective, outside party looking into your relationship. they aren't invested in he said vs she said, they are simply invested in helping you find ways to navigate through the ups and downs of life. all they are there for is to more or less act as a translator between man and woman (since we do very much speak different languages). don't feel that you have to lay on the couch and spill all information about the two of you. learn and attain the tools necessary for successful communication and compromise. otherwise, it's all just going to be "whose side is the counselor on" mine or yours. they aren't there for that, and neither are you!

Answer 7

You just have to find the right counselor. Our first counselor, we almost ended up divorced. So my husband suggested we try another one. And this one was great. And we've never been closer. Keep trying them until you find yourselves growing closer. If you end up fighting more, then you're seeing the wrong one.

It has saved our marriage. I definitely recommend it. And think everyone should go. Even more so before they're married.

Answer 8

I have spent many $$$ on counseling for my marriage in the past. It was the best investment that I have ever made in my life.
I would suggest that you go into counseling concentrating on bettering yourself and not spending time concerning yourself with your partners issues. Take ownership for your issues and build from them. I think it is nice to have an outside opinion that doesn't come from friends or family. I hope this helps in your decision. I can't think of anything better in my life then my wife and kids.
BEST WISHES!

Answer 9

I think the outcome will depend on yourselves and who you see.

Sometimes a counsellor is not always the best answer.

A problem can sometimes be spiritual in nature as opposed to being emotional, mental, physical, or material. Sometimes an exorcist who knows what he or she is doing can drive the demons away so the relationship can survive.

Answer 10

thats great that you are trying to work things out instead of picking up and leaving. i think it will be good for you because you will know if you should get married or not. sometimes 2 people just arent compatible with eachother yet you guys could rekindle everything and have the best marriage and accept eachother for who you are. good luck