My husband & I have been married for 5 years, I'm happy with our relationship. Well, a couple weeks ago I come to find out before we met he had been having sex with his brothers wife. Apparently it was a couple years before we met, so I can't really say anything. I was just really surprised he would do something like that. It just doesn't seem like something he would do, I kinda feel like, do I really know him or what? His brother & his wife are still together & there is no bad blood between him & his brother. But, when I'm around them I feel a little uncomfortable, to be honest it bothers me. I wish it didn't. Just wanted to see what you think about it.
2007-12-06 08:34:45 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I suppose my real ? is how to get over it.
2007-12-06 08:36:52 · update #1
He didn't tell me, she did. He admitted it when I asked about it.
2007-12-06 08:43:44 · update #2
You have the right to question do you really know your husband or not because this is something that he's kept secret from you for quite some time.
I would feel a bit irritated by that but there's nothing much else you can do if everyone has already gotten over the situation long before you came around.
It's natural to feel weird when you're around his brothers wife now because you know that at one point her life she was having sex with your husband, and it would definitely bother me.
All I can say for you to do is make sure it's not happening now, forgive him for keeping it a secret and try not to think about it because if you think about it too much it will just eat you alive.
2007-12-06 08:40:58 · answer #1 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would feel just as you do, very uncomfortable about the situation and the whole situation would make me question his morals. You left out a lot of detail. For instance, did this occur before his brother married her or was it during his brother's marriage to her? The fact that it happened before you and him even met has nothing to do with questioning his morals. If the happened before his brother married her then I would say you need to just do your best to let it go. If it happened during the time his brother was still married to her, then I would question his morals. I wonder what made her tell you, what good did she get from telling you? Maybe you and his brother can talk about how he coupes with all of this.
2007-12-06 08:51:53 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-12-17 09:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it bothers you. That is a tough situation, mainly because you have to be around this woman alot. Talk to your husband, and tell him how you feel about this. Tell him that you are so uncomfortable around her, and now you wonder about a possible rekindling of the relationship (if you are around them alot). I don't really know what you can do..it is his brother. You really need your husband's reassurance right now...he didn't cheat, but having sex with your brothers wife is just wrong. Good luck.
2007-12-06 08:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That was pretty ridiculous of her to tell you, especially if the husband/brother doesn't know. What benefit was it to her to tell you? Very odd. None the less, the past is the past, and maybe find some good in the fact that he didn't try to deny it. He could of just said she was crazy and he doesn't know what the hell she was talking about...instead he chose to entrust you with some very private information that could potentially damage his and his brothers relationship. That says something.
2007-12-06 08:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be mad too. He can't be trusted. Does her husband know? I would keep a VERY close eye on yours. Not just around her, but in general.
2007-12-06 10:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happened before you got there, but Brother has no clue.....or she would be History.....
He needs to be on a short leash with her around....if they cheated together and hid it this well there is no telling what is still going on between the two of them.
2007-12-06 08:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
there is really no way to get over the shock of finding something like that out...... but you have to think that it happened before you two got together so you really cant hold something like that over his head... I really couldnt tell you what to do but you are going to have to let it go and not worry about it
2007-12-06 08:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by chelle B 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would have more of a hard time with the "secretness" of it all, since you are married and all. Usually that stuff all comes out ahead of time and you have time to either deal with it or move on.
Why did he all of a sudden come clean? And how fair was it for him to burden YOU with this info?
2007-12-06 08:40:54 · answer #9 · answered by that judi 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I love these kinds of answers...."Talk to him". What the hell does that mean?
In essence, hon, what ever happened before you and he were an item is really not up for discussion. You are over reacting, and your concerns are silly. He's with you, isn't he? End of problemo.
2007-12-06 08:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋