Well me and my coworker hooked up while him and his wife were separated due to the fact that she was in rehab for stealing from a liquor store and got probation and popped for coke twice. well i found out about a month ago that i was pregnant and he is the father but now him and his wife are back together and they are doing good together i don't want to be a home wrecker should i tell him or just keep it to myself?
2007-12-06 07:48:30 · 59 answers · asked by steffbabyg 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes. Go for it.
2007-12-06 07:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by ASL 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Please don't keep this from him. He has a right to know...and let me tell you why it's SO important!
My husband (friend at the time) had a girlfriend that was a hook up type thing. She got pregnant, said it was his, then said she had a miscarriage. The entire time she was pregnant and just didn't want him to be the father to that child.
Well it turned out that we missed out on TWO YEARS of my husband's daughter's life. The mother to this child had NO RIGHT to keep this type of information from my husband. Because it not only hurt him, it hurt my stepdaughter. She's 4 yrs old now and often wonders where her baby pictures are with Daddy. We have none....because her mother made that choice.
Since the day he took a DNA test, we've been in that little girls life. And NOBODY will take him out of it because that's his child. Think about it for a minute....don't you want the best life for your child? Don't you want him/her to have a solid foundation meaning he has both parents in his life? Because kids need that!
You shouldn't even care if this guy is married or if they're doing good. You need to start making decisions for your child and involving her father, or letting him even know that you're having his child, is the first place to start.
As an "outsider" to my husband and his ex's situation, please don't do that. My goodness, the hurt it put my husband through broke my heart. My stepdaughter is young enough where it wasn't a huge deal, but she sees how we have pictures of our son wrapped in a blanket with his Daddy but she doesn't see pictures of her and her Daddy when she was a baby. Trust me, you don't ever want to have to explain to your child the reason he/she doesn't see their father. Because YOU felt he was happier with his wife?
I'm sorry, but as you can see this topic strikes a chord with me. He has a right to know. Bottom line!
2007-12-06 08:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by Momto2inFL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married or not, this man has the right to know that he's going to be a father. You should tell him. And if it splits him and his wife up, then that should be a lesson learned for him. If he was still legally married to her while she was in rehab, then he should not have been sleeping with you!!
You should have known better than to get involved with a married man even if they were separated for whatever reason. I would say that you will need to have a paternity test done to prove that he is the father, put him on the birth certificate and take him to court to get child support out of him!
2007-12-06 07:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by terribrooke 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't wanna be a homewrecker? You already labeled yourself that the moment you hooked up with a married man. Separation means nothing, he was STILL MARRIED, no matter if she was a psycho during that time. It's obvious he still loves her if he's with her. The right thing to do is tell him and figure out from there whether you are going to have this child or choose other options. Really think about this. I'm not saying about the situation with your co-worker but about the quality of life that this child has to look forward to. Not a smart choice to begin with getting mixed up with this guy. But I'm sure you now know that.
2007-12-06 08:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a legal abortion - you say that they were separated but that was just because she was in rehab, not because he had actually decided to leave her. In other words, he was just messing around marking time and looking for some-one to screw while she was unavailable. Your own behaviour was equally at fault - get clear of the whole mess and get yourself sorted out before you consider having a child because baby you aren't ready for one yet! Then you can tell him what you did and maybe it will prompt him to be a little more careful with his dick next time his wife is in rehab.
2007-12-06 08:06:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tell him, he might get joint custody. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want my baby around a chick that steals from liquor stores and is high on coke all the time. If you are going to need help with the baby, then you have to tell him.
2007-12-06 07:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by Steve is cool 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should tell him and then the two of you should talk about what to do about it. He might not want to be involved in this child's life, and if that's the case, l wouldn't pursue him. I know from personal experience that this doesn't work, and it's no good for the child. This may be an unpopular opinion but if he doesn't want to be involved I'd try to make it on my own without his help. What good is having a father in your child's life who doesn't want him? And please, learn from this experience, just don't mess with married men!!!!!
2007-12-06 07:56:38 · answer #7 · answered by karenhjones 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do make birth control these days>Tell him then be a single parent>Home wrecker She was in Rehab still married to him>His choice is her as they are together> And since she is not to stable>She might get very very upset>So be safe>
2007-12-06 08:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes make sure you tell him you understand if he doesn't want a life with you and that you are not trying to be a home wrecker. you have to tell him you both you in the wrong here and he needs to help you in some way take care of this baby
good luck I hoped you learned to not mess with someone hubby
2007-12-06 07:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by kariweber_17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The point at which you had a choice whether or not to be a "home wrecker" was immediately before having sex. Once you have sex, the choice is made. Of course you should tell him! I am a firm believer that a man has a right and an obligation to know about and support every single child he sires.
2007-12-06 07:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Yes you should tell him. He needs to know so it's not a surprise in 15 years when this kid he didn't know he had knocks on his door. He is also responsible for the child and will need to pay child support. Whatever is going on with he and his wife is is not your problem.
2007-12-06 07:55:31 · answer #11 · answered by kirk1500 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋