My husband and I have been married for 12 yrs. and 7 yrs ago we split cuz I liked to go out & he didnt; I met a guy, but I always denied anything happening. We got back together for about 1yr and we split a 2nd time cuz he was talking to a co-worker and decided he was not happy w/me anymore.(she understood him?)..We tried again for the sake of our 2 daughters. I know there is a lot of commerodery when you work in a large group. He is a gaurd in a prison and a couple of days ago a female officer called his cell phone in the middle of the night, but hung up. He called back to the prison and asked if anyone had called him and they patched the call to her. They talked for about 15 minutes. I asked him why she had called and said she just needed advise.He denies anything is going on and says he talks to everyone at work. Our relationship is normal...we have problems with bills and payments, kids, work, like any other couple.Our sex life is ok, but should I be worried or let it go?
2007-12-06 07:44:34 · 13 answers · asked by ((surimi)) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do love him, but why does she call? He says she is like a kid and he talks to her like an older brother. Should I believe him or do I question him further until he cracks? Inside I feel that he might be telling the truth, but he's already left me once for a co-worker...he does work 12 hours, so he spends a lot more time at work than he does at home. When he is home he is very loving towards me and the girls.
What to do? Help.
2007-12-06 07:49:08 · update #1
my hubby works at a prison also, so i know that there is no reason that she should be calling him in the middle of the night for advise. that's what the higher-up's are for. not only that, but if she was really just a friend, she would have enough respect for your family not to call at that hour. i would watch him very carefully. especially knowing his past.
2007-12-06 07:55:58 · answer #1 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know what? marriage is extremely complicated if you live by secular standards. My husband and I are Christians and there is no such thing as another chick calling his cell. That is a flat out violation. He doesnt have female 'friends' and I dont have 'guy friends'. The people we associate with when we do are married and likeminded in that they are trying to preserve their marriage too. We dont 'go out' but if we did it would be together or not at all. Im not sure what sort of relationship you have with God but I encourage you to tighten it up and put some very real boundaries on your marriage. If you dont, you cant be shocked when someone crosses the line. I can give you some advice as a wife of what YOU can do...and what God will do to reward you.
Let it go? h*** no..you have to put a stop to it...
2007-12-06 08:01:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He could be, but he also told you about this. I think you should tell him how you feel, don't be accusitory, just sit him down and be honest, tell him you love him and you are finding yourself gaurding your heart and you just need to know that this isn't going to be a replay of what happened in the past. Don't dwell on the past, be strong about it, remember you chose to forgive him for the past and move forward, so keep that brief. Tell hi you need the truth because you wan to trust him and never want to hate him which is what would happen if he chose to lie to you in regaurds to another woman. Also tell him, that you just aren't cumfortable with a woman calling the home where your kids are sleeping, for advise, it's not appropriate on her part, and ask him to tell her to not ever do that agian.
2007-12-06 08:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its a possability. For any woman to be calling your husband and him talk to her, somethings wrong. My husband would never talk to another woman I dont know on the phone. Sounds like you guys just need to call it quits cuz you may never be happy. Your daughters wont be happy if your not. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone, they just may not bed right for you. I wish you the best.
2007-12-06 07:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffanye 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would keep a close CLOSE eye on him.... She shouldnt be calling him in the middle of the night anyways for advise. He has a family and a wife so she should respect that.
I suggest confronting him and asking him whats going on
Good Luck! Happy Holidays!
2007-12-06 07:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by It's Me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What is normal?
Happiness is what counts. Are you actually following your bliss with your constant worry about who is cheating on whom?
You have cheated and therefore you know people lie when they are caught. Sounds to me as if you are transferring your past behavior to him.
Are you really helping your two daughters by constantly being suspicious? Sounds like you should be talking things through with a therapist.
2007-12-06 07:52:34 · answer #6 · answered by Beach Saint 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd definitely watch the situation, but at this point, I don't think it's enough to make that call yet. Maybe she needed work information, maybe she didn't. But if he starts getting a lot of calls from her, then I'd investigate.
2007-12-06 07:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does she call him often? The fact that he is not secretive could be that its innocent. Maybe she was asking him about work stuff. Is he out of earshot when he talks to her?
I wouldn't get too deep into it unless he becomes secretive.
2007-12-06 07:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by Cassandra C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not saying he is cheating....not enough here to decide that BUT I do know one thing- I have never called another woman's husband to ask his "advice" on my life's problems....that sounds a bit odd to me.....
2007-12-06 07:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
why don't you ask him if he would like to have a "game night " you and your hubby and some friends from his work can get together try to start to get to know the people he works with
2007-12-06 07:51:18 · answer #10 · answered by kariweber_17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋