We are married for 8 years and we have 2 lovely boys. We love eachother very much and I can't imagine living without him. I just wanted to know if it was O.k for me and my husband disgaree on most of the things ..specially when it is something with his parents and sister. We also disagree on little things like ...may be just a nursery rhyme or how to clean the dishes... We just talk about the disagreement and as usual my husband will forget about it. I am wondering if its really O.K for the couple to disagree on things and still be happy. Also want to know if there are people like this and its normal for a couple to disagree...Thanks in advance for answering my question.
2007-12-06 07:37:11 · 16 answers · asked by Sandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is OK to disagree on things of course we are all made different with different views on things. That being said there are things that should be left to the sexes. I will not tell my wife how to clean house or wash dishes or cook EVEN if i thought she was doing it wrong (but again the point is ... how can you be wrong doing THAT) at the same time my wife doesn't tell me how to plug in the electric lights or how to make an oil change. It is called trust and respect. we argue yes but on things that concerns us both and we usually make a common decision each one making concessions. Note: he seems to be having a negative impact on you which could be viewed as mental abuse. many women have suffered from depression after their husbands kept telling them how bad they were doing everything and made them feel worthless ... do not let it get to that point OK? good luck.
2007-12-06 07:50:44 · answer #1 · answered by caliguy_30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's very normal to disagree on things because you are two different people. The only time it can be bad is if you disagree on the dishes and one person belittles the other because he/she is "doing it wrong". The person who is most concerned with the dishes should just do them all the tim so that you don't have to worry about this disagreement.
Also, you have to know to pick your battles. If you fight about everything, then your life will never seem happy. But if you learn to just do some things the way he thinks they should be done (even if you don't agree with them), then just keep your mouth shut and do it. It will make your life a lot more easy, believe me!!! :-)
2007-12-06 08:01:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arguments are healthy to sort out and come to a better solution. But that shouldn't be the way of life.
There has to be compromise and your husband in this case is doing the right thing. He forgets about what happened and moves on. Don't make it a ego thing and that'll destroy the family. This is pretty common. Families break-up when they can't compromise or give & take. Just wanted to argue just for the sake of arguing.
Rememeber don't make it the way of life.
2007-12-06 11:39:31 · answer #3 · answered by Bavana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disagreeing on every thing is strange but it happens, it's happening with me, but my wife has double standard, we have two kids, married for 7 yrs. my wife wants one way relationship and wants me to massage her legs when she returns from work after 8 hr.s of job, she is cashier and has to stand whole 8 hrs. but when i was working 8 hrs she never ever offered me to massage my legs. only thing holding this relationship is two kids. otherwise i am sure we would not be together as she repeatedly tells me. talk it out with your husband and if you feel you may be better off then i wish you good luck in getting some one who agrees, compromises and understand give and take.
2007-12-07 00:03:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your situation there are no winners, only loosers. It doesn't matter who cleans the dishes right, one doesn't want to let their partner being right. I bet if it is him the one who as per you is always doing something wrong. One day and out of the blue, you will hear "I'm leaving" and by then is going to be really late, and that day is going to be the greatest day of his life. If it is you the one leaving, that day will be the greatest day of your life as well, thanks that you wont have to be dealing with that kind of things and that you can finall live in peace.
What is happening in your case is definitely lack of discipline and lack of control that they need to tell the other person how to do things, is like a boat without a captain. Me in the shoes of him, I don't allow that kind of things in my place or my relationship - period. Is the lack of a backbone on him, and the lack of respect of you to him as well.
He needs to do something fast, either take control of that and stop dealing with that kind of situations by becoming a man, or if you don't see the problem just leave and start enjoying life as a single person without that kind of problems.
You don't have to be taking that kind fo things in life, fight for little things, it's up to each person if they want to be there, my choice has been to not to be there. You will see which one is yours.
2007-12-06 08:15:34 · answer #5 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the one thing i have learned its ok to agree to disagree when two people are arguing it's because they both want to be right and for me being with my husband and loving him is WAY more important than being right
2007-12-06 08:21:14 · answer #6 · answered by Tina c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've wondered this too. My boyfriend and me are the same way. We just learned to say I'm not going to argue with you and joking I'll say I'm always right. Or ill tell him we have different opinions and It just passes and we go on.
2007-12-06 08:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 15 years and she had issues with nearly every little thing that I did. In the end, it made me GLAD to be rid of her.
It is normal for married couples to have differences on things, but if you think you are nitpicking him then you are probably REALLY nitpicking him. For most men it is a relationship killer.
I suggest you change your perspective on who he is and how he does things. Otherwise, you are showing him that you do not approve of him.
2007-12-06 07:43:54 · answer #8 · answered by Avatar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea usually that increases ur love for each other well thats for me but don't worry u guys r just a normal couple if u didn't fight at all then ur perfect but that won't be fun to have it will just be boring.
take care
2007-12-06 07:46:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol yall sound like me and my man!! we argue about EVERYTHING!! how to cook, clean, shop, eat, talk, wipe your butt!!!.... and while we argue we have smiles on our faces but will be want to choke each other at the same time!! i dont know how that works, but it does!! and i love him!1 ive never been more happy in my life!!
2007-12-06 07:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by Amber R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋