I bumped into an old friend...?

Question

While working out the other day I bumped into a guy I knew from highschool. I haven't seen him in 10 years, and let's just say the years have been good to him. He tells me how he had the biggest crush on me. I was flattered because I never new this. And to make matters worse, I thought he was gorgeous and was a bit turned on.

Being the kind of person I am, when I got home, I told my husband all about it. His response was "Awe, that's great, I'm glad you ran into an old friend." And that was it. He wasn't upset, he didn't ask me anything about the guy, he didn't tell me to stop going to that gym.

What does his response mean? Should it bother him that I was flirtting with this guy that I thought was cute? I though he'd be pissed, but it didn't seem to phase him, what does that mean?

No, I was not trying to make him jealous. I'm transparent. Either I tell him now, or he'd drag it out of me later

Answer 1

It means he is confident of your love and devotion...don't mess that up. It's happened to me. There was this guy I knew since jr. high. A real geek! (I was friends with him being somewhat of a nerd myself) He was skinny as a stick, wore glasses and played the clarinet of all things! One day I saw him at the grocery store, but I didn't recognize him. He came up to me, my husband was with me at the time otherwise I probably would have been drooling all over him. He got rid of the glasses, had some nicely sculpted meat on his bones, and just looked hot! I just had to tell that story, even if you didn't know him. Back to your hubby, he must also be confident of what and who he is to not be phased.

Answer 2

Well - he might actually have doubts, but is afraid to voice them, because he knows that would be like accusing you of infidelity!

If you suspect this at all (and I think that's why you posted - you feel guilty - and wrongly so!) - I think you probably *should* make it clear that if he has any doubts, that you would not be hurt - because it is natural for any partner to have doubts; (anyone would feel simultaneously doubtful AND secure - which one is stronger?)

The thing is; if they are strong doubts, and if he can't get them out in the open, he's going to bottle them up, and the mistrust will build, and he'll get a little paranoid until you can reassure him.

And if you unilaterally reassure him, without mentioning anything, that might make him paranoid too - make him thing you're acting guilty.

Relationships are a minefield.
Anyone who tells you any different, is not feeling intense emotions. (and if that's the case - what's the point?)

Communication is the only solution.

Answer 3

That just shows that your husband TRUSTS you. If he would have gotten upset and told you to stop going there, that would mean he is controlling, and why would you want your husband to be like that. Be glad that you have a trusting husband, there aren't many of those. Please do not pursue the guy you saw, because you'll get into trouble. Live your happy life with your husband and forget the guy.

Answer 4

First off, congrats on telling your husband. I had a similar experience happen to me and I didn't tell my husband. I started chatting with my old friend and when my husband found out he was pissed. He said if I had told him in the beginning he would have been cool with it. Your husband is just secure with your relationship and knows you will not act on this. He trusts you. Kudos to both of you--you for being upfront and honest and him for trusting you and having faith in your marriage.

Answer 5

Its good that you told your husband, but you'll never really know the answers to those questions unless you ask him. That is simply because guys are so hard to read sometimes. His reaction can be look at two different ways: (1) he's not worried because he trust you or (2) he's not worried because there's something he's not telling you. Of course we hope it is number 1, but because it can be looked at from totally different angles he is the one you should really ask. God bless.

Answer 6

Did you tell your hubby that you were flirting with him and were turned on? If so, that's a little strange. Are you sure he was actually listening? Guys pretend to do that a lot! hehe. He may also think you're just trying to make him jealous.

Answer 7

Your husband is obviously secure in your love, or else he is slightly clueless. He sounds like a live-and-let-live, laid back kind of person. You're lucky--would you prefer that he get angry at you and out of jealousy try to control your every move? Were you trying to make your husband jealous, is that why you told him?

Answer 8

What it means is he is comfortable with the relationship you and he have together and is not threatened by another man. Also by you telling him that only lets him know that you are comfortable telling him anything. I would not let that go for a pretty face.

Answer 9

Maybe your husband is a grown-up and not a junior higher. I don't recommend playing "will he be jealous" games. It leads to hurt feelings and unspoken expectations. Good luck.

Answer 10

either that you have a great husband who has complete faith in you and your marrige and knows you love him so has no reason to be insecure about some guy at the gym. and maybe figures if he had something to worry about you wouldnt have been openly talking to him about it. or either hes cheating on you and has no room to complain about you flirting with a guy because his overwhelming quilt surpresses his jealousy. you should know which one depending on your marrige.