Scared of sex?

Question

Please help I don't want to have sex.
The thought of it makes me sick and I feel like I don't want to take my innocence away.
I also feel like I don't want to grow old and face the adult world.
I'm 16 and I seem to be the only girl who feels like this.
Most of my friends have already had sex or had oral but I haven't even been kissed!
I've never been sexually abused or assaulted or anything like that so it's not that...
I don't even like to go out partying.
What's wrong with me?
And I don't think I'll feel any different when I get older because ever since I found out what sex was it's always repulsed me and made me feel scared.

Answer 1

Congratulations! You are perfectly normal! How refreshing to hear that there is someone with a sound head on their body at your young age. This is the way most kids should be thinking today.

When you get married, then you can enjoy sex... that's when God intended it to happen anyway! One thing though... the thought of sex shouldn't make you sick. It's an incredible beautiful thing. Just keep a level head about it and wait until you're married. You are awesome!

Answer 2

First of all I think its great that you are waiting to have sex until you are ready to do so. It is not something that I think ANYONE should feel pressured into. Relax, you will feel better about having sex when you a bit older and in a relationship with a great person. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. Just because MTV/VH1 and some other tv shows say that you have to go out to the club and party to have a good time does not make it true. You will be better off NOT getting so involved in that life style. My suggestion is to find a sport, club, or hobby to occupy your time. Your too young to worry about this stuff.... focus on the positive parts of your future like college and even a part time job to make some extra cash. I think it would also be a good idea to broaden your friendship base... meaning... make new friends with other kids who are interested in the same things that you are. It seems like your other friends are really boy crazy right now. Personally I didn't get my first kiss until I was 18 and I didn't start having sex until I was 21.... when I was ready to. I'm in a great relationship now with an amazing guy and I don't have all the baggage that most people do when they come into a relationship with a large sexual history. The point is... you're fine, find something else to focus on.

Answer 3

This is a tough subject.
In all my studies, there have been several answers to this question, and it depends on what type of psychologist that you ask, they all have their own different opinions. A lot of people are going to have their own answer for this question, but it all comes down to what YOU want.

Bottom line, just give yourself some time. Your friends around you may try to pressure you, and that is all part of growing up. You do not have to do anything that you do not want to.
If you think you are not ready, then so be it.

Me personally, I think 16 is way too young.......18 is the legal age you know? Just give it some time. And if you get curious, please use protection. but, AGAIN, this is only when YOU want to, and if it never happens, then that is ok too.
Nothing is wrong with you, you are fine.

Answer 4

That can be normal, Don't worry you are only 16 and You Should be very Proud that you are a virgin and not a SKANK! Once you've graduated college and have met that special person in your life and are married, you can look at it, Not as a Dirty act, but a special time for you and your partner on your wedding night.
Which should be atleast...6 years away and by the time you are twenty-one you will have gone through so many changes. Don't waste you time worrying about being in the partying popular crowd, Those are the kids that will be serving you Fries later in life.
So focus on your studies and Best wishes!

Answer 5

When the right person comes along, you will not be scared.

Don't let peer pressure get to you. They may tease you and make you feel inferior in some way - but you're not, if anything, you're unique.

There is no right time for this. You have the opportunity most teens deny themselves - to discover who you are, life, love, and sex IN THAT ORDER.

A lot is going to change in the next 4 years, including your opinions on sex and facing the adult world. Set your mind to finding out who you are and don't worry about sex, when the time is right, you will know.

Answer 6

Hey it's ok! You need to wait until you feel ready. Don't rush. If you do you will probably regret it for a very long time. Sixteen isn't the best time to start having sex anyway, many people aren't emotionally equipped to handle it. And besides don't you want that first time to be with someone you cared deeply for and not the first guy off the bus? There is a guy out there who you will fall madly in love with and he won't pressure you to have sex. And when YOU decide you're ready, i'm sure that it will be wonderful! Good luck, and stay strong.

Answer 7

there is nothing wrong with you. You are still too young to have sex, that is probably why you find it intimidating. Dont worry about what your friends do, never be a follower.

You are a smart girl. Are you religious? If so, it sounds like becoming a Nun would be right up your ally. You are pure and have decided to not be taken advantage of by a horny boy. Good for you.

When you get a little older you might think differently about sex. Sex can be a beautiful thing if you do it with a person you truly love. But you wait as long as you want. There is no law that says you must have sex. Some people like it, some people dont.

Answer 8

there's absolutely nothing wrong with you...don't listen to the people telling you to see a counselor or a doctor or that you'll grow out of it...it's just who you are and i am the exact same way as you...if you don't want to give up your virginity then don't...im 21 and still havent and i wont until im married...i think the exact same way as you do too, like i don't want to rush to grow up cuz the world has so many harsh things in it, and sooner or later we have to face it but sex is not worth rushing it considering all the things you have to be take into consideration to try and prevent...i dont party either, i never was into it and i never will be cuz i dont understand what people see in it...
it's normal to be scared of what you don't know about and youre so young, you dont need to stress yourself with things for the adult world yet...but one day you'll find that you do feel ready and that fear will turn into excitment for being able to discover something new in life, no matter how disgusting it may seem to you (which if you really think about it, it truly is nasty)

Answer 9

Its not necessarily abnormal to feel like this.

Usually, most girls have begun their sexual journey around the age of 16 because of their raging hormones and peer pressure.

Its alright to feel that you're not ready.

Slow and steady wins the race.




Speaking from experience, I'm almost 20 and have never gone beyond kissing. Its not necessarily because I'm afraid, but its merely a life choice.

16 is still a very young age. I wouldn't worry about this until you're older.

Many of the girls I've met in college are similar to me and have never really done anything yet. I'm not even a particularly prude school either.


Just because you're a certain age does not mean you have to have sex (or anything sexual). They are big (scary) choices that you just may not be ready for. I have never met a single girl (and these are merely just from my experiences) that was not afraid to lose her virginity. They may want to, but when it came down to it... they were scared/nervous out of their minds.


I recommend seeing "The Vagina Monologues" One of the skits reminds me of your situation slightly.

Answer 10

I hate to say it but teens these days are sluts...they were back in my day also. I was terrified of the thought of sex and sexual activities...but when I fell in love the first time that all left. I felt so comfortable and trusting of my guy that my fears vanished...I even felt kinda kinky. Now, 7 years later have recently broken up and I am kinda back to where I was. I think it depends on having that great person to be with, not just a random boy. Don't think you are missing out on anything for being young. You will be thankful when you are in college without any STDs and children of your own!!!