I'm 18 years old and married, I have a 1 year old daughter and I just lost my unborn son..And my mother witch I am not living with will not leave me and my family alone.She is always calling me just to find reasons to argue with me. And to make me up set,what can I do or say nicely to get her to leave me the hell alone.
2007-12-06 06:13:53 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems that maybe nicely is is no longer the way you need to go. If she can't understand the difficulties you're going through and can't be a real mother and help you out and support you while you're going through a rough time, then you need to tell her firmly and with confidence, without being rude or getting into a fight, that if she can't be a mother to you and support you, then she should just get the hell out of your life until such a time as she can do what a mother is supposed to for a child. In the meantime, at your young age, you need to concentrate all your efforts on making sure your marriage and your child go well. You have a responsibility for life now and if you f--k it up, do you want to turn out like your mom? Hopw do you feel being treated poorly by your mom? Do you want your kid to go through the same? Bet not. Love your child, love your husband, and do whatever is right to stay together and make a happy life for all of you. That's what you can do to get your mom to either get on your side or go sit on the other side of the stadium and watch your life from a distance.
2007-12-06 06:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about telling her to leave you the heck (not hell) alone and be done with it? Your mother is probably worried about you. She just doesn't know how to express it properly. Try to understand and the next time she calls, tell her that you and your husband need some time alone. Tell her that she has to let you live your own life. You just lost a child and you can't deal with being upset right now. Tell her that. Then, if she keeps talking, quietly hang up the phone. If she calls back, don't answer. Eventually, she will understand that she has to start treating you with kindness, instead of trying to force you into doing things her way. It's hard for mothers and daughters to come to a common ground. Your mother still sees you as her little girl. But you're a grown up wife and mother now; and she has to start seeing you that way. Best wishes!
2007-12-06 14:25:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes parents want to say "I told you so" even when you don't need to hear it. I'm sorry about losing your son. :-( That must have been very hard. Maybe she's calling to check on how you're doing, but it turns into an argument? Maybe she calls not intending for things to go wrong with you. I know that doesn't make it any easier.
Why not offer her the opportunity to take your daughter for a day so that you can get some rest? If she takes your daughter, you don't have to worry about caring for your daughter and you don't have to worry about your mother calling you because she'll be busy.
2007-12-06 14:22:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay....this really is your choice. Don't fall victim to a bad choice. Sounds to me like Mom has not given up the fight. Could it be she feels you have made a bad choice at a young age and is still angry about it? Moms...believe it or not...usually want the best for their children and often it is hard to let go of that still wanting to mother you. You will find this to be true when your children are older. BUT you are going to have to have a heart to heart talk with her....even if what you might have to say might hurt her feelings. Why is it that your Mom has this much free time to call you and do you ever just for no reason pick up the phone to call her and just say Hi...I love you? If you are happy in your marriage....really your Mom should be too. Just sounds like there is alot of anger and/or resentment in your mother...try to resolve it before years go by and you both remain miserable. Good luck and my deepest sympathy regarding your loss.
2007-12-06 14:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get caller I.D and don't answer the phone
let her leave a message if it is important get back to her
or
say Mom I don't want to talk right know I have a lot on my mind and I will call you when I feel better
2007-12-06 14:20:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stop trying to be nice. She is harassing you and she will continue to do so if you let her. Tell her to stop calling you and that you are not going to argue with her. If you have to, change your number. You do not have to take this treatment just because she is your mother. Do not let her treat you badly. If you have to cut off contact with her I would. You do not need this and you should not have to take it. I am so sorry about your baby. I could not image your pain.
2007-12-06 14:20:00 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are gonna file charges against her for harassment and then file a restraining order! However, remember, she is your mother and is probably doing what she is, cause she loves you! Look at both sides before you slam the door in her face!
2007-12-06 14:30:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you. You should just ignore your mother. Clearly she doesn't respect you, and you don't need this right now after losing a child.
It's difficult to avoid your parents, but sometimes it has to be done. Good luck.
2007-12-06 14:17:29 · answer #8 · answered by Shayna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer the phone for her anymore. Tell her when she decided to treat oyulike an adult than to call back until than don't answer for at least a month.
2007-12-06 14:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by Nae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use your caller ID. You do not need to hear from anyone who is negative. You're going through a lot and need sympathetic people in your life.
2007-12-06 14:21:44 · answer #10 · answered by Sassie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋