My brothers fiance is 38 weeks pregnant, due to have their first baby (a boy) on 17th December.
She is 26 years old but incredibly immature, selfish and unpleasant as a person. She has basically alienated my brother from the rest of our family. She makes HUGE demands on my brother. For example she has made them get a houseful of pets which she doesn't take care of - barely pays attention to them, and makes my brother do all of the work. She then decided she wanted a baby (my family suspect as a way of holding on to my brother) and got pregnant right away. I fear they have unrealistic notions about it. They don't have much money and my brother already works all the hours God sends and then has to come home and do ALL of the household chores, shop, make food... care for the pets etc.
I just feel uneasy about the impending arrival of this baby. I am not sure I want my nephew to be born in to something like this. Yet.... there is nothing I can do :(
Any advice?
2007-12-06 06:09:55 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Sad to say but people like that sometimes don't change. They think that babies are like dolls and aren't alot of work. She may be getting a rude awakening. Hopefully she isn't and she changes. Hopefully your brother's daddy instincts are soo strong that he finally has enough of her nonsense. And takes the baby from her and leaves. Im sorry that you have been put in that position. Tell your brother how you feel and support him and help him if he does decide to leave.
2007-12-06 06:21:39 · answer #1 · answered by Alexanders and Katherines mama 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow. you think she'd be "nesting" by now. 38 weeks? Women usually feel the urge to get things in order at home by this time because they know the baby's coming soon, it's almost instinct. That's a tough situation and if your sister in law is as bad as she sounds thank God this baby has a caring uncle!! Just be there for them, come around as much as you can, especially when the baby's first born. Call and check up on them. Hopefully when this baby gets here it will slap some responsibility into her. And if you notice it's not bring up your concern to your brother, he's your brother! You can talk to him. I know talking about spouses can be touchy, just ease into it. ex. if you notice the baby's not dressed too warm make a comment like It's kinda chilly in here huh? Or maybe just ask for a blanket and cover them. Hopefully she'll get the hint. Good luck.
2007-12-06 14:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by Foxxy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that he chose her. All you can do is be kind, grit your teeth and occasionally assist. When they split up, the chances of your family having any contact with the baby is going to be small and that is really the pity of the whole situation.
My brother did the same thing, with the same type of woman. The only difference is that they were unable to have children. I can count on one hand the number of times I have talked to my brother on the phone since they married more than 20 years ago. He made his bed. I guess he decided it was comfy.
2007-12-06 14:20:37 · answer #3 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just try to deal with as best as you can, sometimes having a baby is a real wakening experiance for people, and once they baby gets here it might not be that bad, just be a good aunt/uncle to the baby and try to help out as best as you can, i found the best way to help when a baby is born, is not to hand over money but to go out and buy things that can only be used for the baby... i've seen fathers who wanted to support their children but were afraid if they gave the mothers money it wouldn't be spent on the child so instead of taking money over they would take diapers or wipes or whatever the mother claimed the baby needed... i know you're not the mother or father but you could still try to help without raising the baby or just handing over money... when your nephew is older make sure he knows you will always be there and if he needs you than be there for him... good luck and i wish you and your nephew the best
2007-12-06 14:17:27 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even if you really dislike your sister in law, i would recomend being there as much as possible. By taking care of the baby yourself, while your brother isnt there, will ensure the baby has the best care.
And if she doesnt take good care of the baby, advise your brother to take the baby. And leave. She sounds awful
2007-12-06 14:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by **Laura** 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. its sounds like shes a right piece of work (no offence). one of my friends was real demanding on her bf, she still lived at home with her mum as she was 17, had a 2yr old from a previous relationship (had baby when she was 14) and was real insecure bout her bf cheating and stuff so would moan if he saw his family and to try and keep him she got preg again! i think when baby is born he may end up seeing sense and leaving her and possibly taking baby with him!
2007-12-06 14:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by Natz 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the baby will be a wake up call for her. I take care of my man somthings wrong with her. I am 31 weeks pregnant =)
2007-12-06 14:19:33 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a difficult situation and it's good that you care so much. There isn't much you can do but just be supportive.
Good luck and I hope things work out.
2007-12-06 14:15:07 · answer #8 · answered by Madison 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a baby is just what this girl needs to change her life.
I'd be praying for them. God Bless
2007-12-06 14:20:48 · answer #9 · answered by ˚despeяate housewife˚ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your sister-in-law will grow up once she becomes a mom and her mothering instinct and cleaning instincts will kick in. Good luck!
2007-12-06 14:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by Precious 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋