Am I Selfish?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 10yrs. and married for 2yrs. Very wonderful relationship. He loves his job and I am misriable. I looked in to getting a new job that would make me happier inturn make him happier. Here's the problem, I will be taking a $5 an hour pay cut. We are in the process of trying to have a baby and possibly buying a house next year. I feel that if I stay in the job I am at, I will never get pregnant because I am so stressed. He is fine with me leaving my current job to pursue other avenues. But I hate to put such a big burden on him. Men have enough of burdens taking care of their family. He wants me and us to be happy. What should I do.

Thank you Just Some Girl. I dont know if is important to say that we are completely debt free and only owe normal monthly bills. Phone, Rent, Utilities etc.

To the 14th answer it was a $5 pay cut not a job making $5 a hour.

Answer 1

This sounds familiar--that was my situation just a few months ago! He encouraged me to leave my job for a big paycut. I have a little bit more stress, but that just means that I can give more to him because I'm happier in what I'm doing now. I also have a lot more control over my hours. That has made a huge difference as well.

I think that if you stay in you current job, you might be able to get pregnant and have your house sooner, but what good will it do you if you're not happy? Just keep in mind that the other stuff might come a little bit later, but you might be able to enjoy it a heck of a lot more. If you want to keep the burden off your man, then offer to take some pay cuts in other areas of your budget. Cut your clothing money down to a minimum. If you're used to getting your nails done, give that up. Show him that you're willing to take the responsibility of cutting back and he'll see how commited you are to getting what you want and need.

Answer 2

No, you are not being selfish, but you are not happy. A job can't make you happier, you need to happy with yourself first. Why are you so stressed? You have to do what is first best for you and your marriage. Kids will come whether you are stressed or not. The timing for you to get pregnant might not be just right but I hope that you two are planning for that to happen. You both need to sit down and talk about your goals in the marriage and where you both want to live at financially and go from there.

Answer 3

but what good will it do you if you're not happy? Just keep in mind that the other stuff might come a little bit later, but you might be able to enjoy it a heck of a lot more. If you want to keep the burden off your man, then offer to take some pay cuts in other areas of your budget. Cut your clothing money down to a minimum. If you're used to getting your nails done, give that up. Show him that you're willing to take the responsibility of cutting back and he'll see how commited you are to getting what you want and need - ditto - very very well said

Answer 4

Running a home and amarriage is like running a business. Sounds like you have some business decisions to make.
You either deal with the bad job so that you can have the baby and the house or you take the pay cut and not have the baby and the house or take the paycut and have the baby or the house.
This is a simple, yet difficult decision and I'm not going to make it for you.

Answer 5

You need to spend at least 2 good years on going to school and find the way to get out of the $5.00 an hour - how can you live with that?. I know is possible if you keep yourself debt free, but haven't you considered making 2 or 4 times more?, it is perfectly possible and doesn't take a lot of work, plus you are going to need money in the future, are you planning on living with coupons of 0.15 cents for the rest of your life?.

Work and do something with your career (and you don't need the permission from anyone by the way to go to school), and go and find a better job (which is another thing where you don't really need permission from anyone).

Answer 6

You should find another job and then quit. Your not selfish, you are just making it harder on yourself and your husband if you stay in a job you are not happy in. Besides, that if you are trying to get pregnant you don't need the added stress and if you feel like the only reason you are staying is because of him then you will end up resenting him.

Answer 7

You aren't pregnant yet... if you can both afford the paycut now and after having a baby... do it! It's better to be happy then miserable because life is too short. On the other hand, if you don't make enough money to live comfortabally... you should look elsewhere for a job.

To answer your question.. I don't think you are being selfish.

Answer 8

You admit that, if you found a job that was less stressful it would benefit you both, and you would not be able to start a family if you stay at this stress filled job, and your husband is okay with your pay cut. I would say you are not being selfish at all, a job change may be the BEST thing for BOTH of you.

Answer 9

Baby Life is way too short to be stuck in a position you hate. Get job you like pay will follow if you happy. Believe me!

Answer 10

i think you should take the pay cut, you said he is fine with it...in the end the stress lvl will lower you will get preggo, you will have a WONDERFUL bundle of joy to share with your husband...may be a bit short on money...but you as you know a good paying job is all that makes you happy!!