There are children involved?
Anyone have any experience with this?
2007-12-06 05:43:39 · 29 answers · asked by Bored 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm in love with someone else. It's already ruining my life b/c I can't be with them. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm out of control a little bit.
2007-12-06 05:50:16 · update #1
read the five love languages. ps cheaters never win
2007-12-06 05:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by dave49310 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Its never ok to cheat. Is this what you would want your children to learn? If the household is not happy the kids are picking up those vibes anyway. I have two boys and I divorced their father becayse staying together was a far worse environment for them then being apart. The bickering that goes on even when u think they cant hear. They sense things we dont even realize. If its that bad......just get a divorce if counseling wont help. Your actions are being watched by your children. Only do what you would be ok with them knowing about. One day they may very well know more then you like
2007-12-06 13:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by jslorri 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not better to cheat. Why would you stay married for the kids? No one does any good in this situation. The children know when there are problems and when there is tension. It stresses them out and makes them unhappy. They are very perceptive and know more than you think they do. It is not better for everyone to be together if everyone is miserable.If you fight or bicker all the time that also stresses them out and makes them unhappy. They do not want their parents to be unhappy. Cheating will just cause a whole bunch of new problems for you. My parents stayed together because of the kids. I had one of the most unhappy and miserable childhood you could imagine. We never knew what was going to happen from one day to the next. We never had a happy holiday and none of our friends would come over to our house. I would not recommend doing that to any child. If you need to want a divorce you need to get one. Everyone will be much happier.
2007-12-06 13:56:38 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never better to cheat because most times when a person cheats they end up getting caught. When a person is seeing someone while they are married they can sometimes end up falling in love with the other person. Being married does not mean that a person should even think about cheating on the other person. Cheating can sometimes lead to divorce. I have known different women who have cheated and ended up pregnant. Cheaters never win!
2007-12-06 13:56:58 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your kids can still have a relationship with there father divorce is better and it is more wiser because of the fact that your kids will not have a bad concept of you when they grow and ask you mommy why did daddy leave you and you in your heart and shame in your mind because of differences and you it is because you cheated. So get it into your head that divorce is better for you and your kids or the other option is stop thinking about yoursled think about your kids and the emotional pain they are going to feel without there father. And live through it.
2007-12-06 15:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes . it is better and please do not call it " Cheat " any more .
It is just about your life , your body and your feeling . How can u be sure that one day your hubby that your are worried about cheating on him , will not be on a situation like the one that you are on it right now? Or even how can you be sure that he has not been till now ? Do you think in that day he would listen to those voices that tell : " No ! never cheat ." and advices like that? do not u think that you will regret in that day ? Do not waste your life. trust in your self . The feeling that guide you to your hubby in past , now is guiding you into a newer experiment . You have trusted in that feeling once , so why do not trust in it for the second or third or ... times ? If you are listening to those who want you do not " cheat " , then i will ask you a question : " if you had sex with your new lover may be as some one says you have cheated on you hubby ( just as they say not me) , but if you do not, then you have cheated on YOURSELF , YOUR FEELING , YOUR MIND and YOUR LIFE . Now tell me which on is better ? Trust in what i am telling to you . Cheating is not exist in that way that popular
human say . It is just made of the mind of those who can not
decide and do not know what they want .
contact me on Peter_Pan1002@yahoo.com
2007-12-06 14:25:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never, ever okay to cheat. If you don't love your husband enough to be faithful to him, why stay? It will hurt him if you leave, but it would hurt worse if you betrayed him.
Before you make any rash decisions, I would first set down and think about everything you dislike about your relationship and everything you like. Talk with your husband and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him you are falling out of love with him and tell him why. If your needs aren't being met let him know. You may be surprised to find that he probably isn't happy either. If you are miserable....how could he possibly be over-joyed with your relationship.
Marriage takes two people working very hard to make things harmonious. I would venture to say that probably both of you are slacking in effort. It is easy to fall out of love with the man or woman you see everyday who farts, smells funny, doesn't listen to you, makes a mess, etc...when someone well-groomed, fresh with cologne/perfume, respectful, and considerate shows interest in you. When we marry and especially when kids come along....we tend to become brother and sister instead of friend and lover.
You married him for a reason and you loved him enough to have children with him, so why not try to work things out and then if it doesn't at least you can say that you tried. Give your marriage a chance and put everything you have into it. Communicate your feelings and let him share his. Maybe with a little work the affair you begin will be with your husband... :)
Good Luck and God Bless
2007-12-06 14:05:03 · answer #7 · answered by Gretta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are out of control. You're just trading men thinking that the new man is going to replace the old man and everything wil be good. If you were just cheating and having a little fun, I'd say OK, that's not good but at least you know what it is just screwing but you think the new guy is the answer... you're gonna get played.
2007-12-06 13:56:23 · answer #8 · answered by huckleberryjoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never get away with cheating although you might think you do. There are differences in the way you act and behave that both your spouse and your children will pick up on even if you think your being smart.
I had this happen and believe me my children want nothing to do with their father. His loss not mine believe me.
Funny thing is the girl he was so in love with dosen't want him either because she figured out too late that if he would cheat on his spouse he would cheat on her too.
Are you sure you are in love with this other person or is it just an ego boost for you because with the family things you just got bored and in a rut? It happens to everyone. That is what you need to concentrate on.
2007-12-06 14:43:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of problems are you having? I think to have to ask this question must mean the thought of cheating may have already began and therefore problems have arisen out of your desire to cheat, correct? Think about this please !!!!!
Ok now that I have read your additional information, I knew that was the problem to begin with. Isn't it funny how someone else involved can all of a sudden turn a good marriage into worlds of trouble.
2007-12-06 13:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through your experiences as I type, except I am the dad who cheated on my wife. Advice I received included everything from cutting my D___ off, to getting counseling. I'm opting for counseling with my wife of 9-years. Although, I'm still worried that my heart will lead me in the opposite direction -- where my affair was: my soulmate.
I'm trying the counseling for my kids and wife, as well as myself, with the thoughts that it will help guide me.
I would suggest the same thing, although somedays I wish I never told my wife... Hiding the affair was fairly easy, but hiding my heart is very difficult. If divorce is the option you choose, prepare yourself financially. It's mighhhhhhty expensive, and will last you a life time.
I wish you luck.
2007-12-06 15:08:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋