Assum this person is one of your best friends,loved one. parents etc. Just someone who is close to you and already knew that what makes feel bad and hurt you...and you know that he wont change b/c he/she has not changed that (attitude,habit,etc )and still keep doing that not on perpose..
will you deal with this? will you just keep forgiving and hurtin on and on?..will ignore that person?..what would you do?
Need to mention it again that,that person is a close person to you.
tnx for sharing ideas already.
2007-12-06 05:32:43 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
need mature and logical answers.
2007-12-06 05:33:10 · update #1
I forgive once. After once they should know the first time was a mistake and never do it again. If they do then it shows either 1) They are too dumb to learn from their mistakes 2) They don't care about hurting you 3) They care more something else than you 4) They are close to you to use you.
Sometimes it's all of them. I have had problems like that with my sister, friends and boyfriend of 4 years (now ex). Now after a repeat thing "sorry" is just lip service to shut me up. At that point it's time to move on. Hang out with someone else, just see them at family events or if it's serious, break up.
Something that is learned in Jr High is not to hang out with friends who back stab you. They are not friends.
2007-12-06 05:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mature and logical answer here. If that person is hurting you I can understand forgive once. I can understand forgivin twice. But three times draws the line. If that person keeps hurting me and/or themselves I would do one of the following:
Family member abusing other family members report them to the police.
Freind, lose the friend. The may be a close person but you can always make more friends. Ones that know right from wrong.
If it is anyone hurting themselves, since they have not quite then you should have them commited for a while.
2007-12-06 05:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by Iris's Lover aka Garrett O. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer that anyone can change. My father was the oldest of four children his mother raised alone. My grandmother was an alcholic for many years while my dad was growing up. For whatever reason, as the oldest, he was frequently abused both by my grandmother and other members of his family. They did many horrible, unspeakable things to him. He lead a very poor childhood. And basically his only stronghold was God and a rare family member that was actually kind to him. After my dad became an adult, my grandmother started getting help for her alcohol abuse problem. She eventually found God, met my grandfather at an AA meeting and they married shortly before I was born. My father told me about his past after I became an adult. And it was shocking to know what my grandmother was once like. Because now she is a clean, sober and loving lady and has been that way for a very long time. Growing up, there were times when my father felt a lot of hurt and resentment towards his mother. But he never abandoned her even with her faults. I think that because he had choosen to consistantly love and forgive her, it made her that much more able to make the choice to change herself. Remember that everyone has problems and wrestles with their own darkness inside. And even though it may take time for them to change, it's not impossible. It never is. And your love and support may help become the reason why they may be able to change. God bless. Morgan.
2016-04-07 21:53:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they've made the mistake over and over, I'd find a way to shield myself from being hurt by that same mistake next time. I need more details on this - are we talking a husband who is a chronic cheater? In that case I'd leave him. Or are we talking a family member who continues to bad mouth you? I'd probably see that family member as little as possible - I don't care if it's my brother - I'm not going to devote time to someone who treats me like crap. So I guess my answer is ultimately....I'd remove them from my life as much as possible.
2007-12-06 05:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend that is stuck in this kinda of situation where she keeps worrying over the same situation & obsessing about it over & over to me. I've given my opinion over & over to her & I'm kinda tired of listening at this point. So any more I just say yea uhhuh! so if someone was hurting me I think I would only be able to take so much & say enough already!
2007-12-06 05:50:48 · answer #5 · answered by Karebear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
7 times 70.
2007-12-06 05:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly care about this person then you should forgive them. But, each time they do or say something that hurts you then gently but firmly tell them how you felt when they did or said the things that hurt you.
2007-12-06 05:42:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must always forgive , but there may come a time when your life is being compromised to an extent that you find intolerable, in which case you must explain your abiding love and forgiveness but state your intention to withdraw yourself from the emotional harm that is being caused. that is your right and signifies no lack of forgiveness which is an emotion
2007-12-06 05:49:10 · answer #8 · answered by bletherskyte 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on who you are and what your limits are... my answer for me won't be the same as the next persons... and there is no set # of times that is considered healthy or not healthy... the main idea is that so long as you aren't degrading your own self worth in the process, the number doesn't matter... it may be once.. it may be 100 times... who knows.
2007-12-06 05:39:19 · answer #9 · answered by pip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some love means letting go. Friend, family, it doesn't matter, at some point it is time to say I love you and good buy.
2007-12-06 05:41:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋