My bf of 2 yrs has not treated me the greatest. I have stuck it out this long in the hopes that he would make some changes so we could be happy. He pretty much has put everything else in his life first excluding me and my two children. I flat out told him that I was going to get my own place because I wasn't happy and I was tired of all his promises to put us first for once and falling through and disappointing the kids. Things have gotten much better in the last month. He comes home for supper to eat with us now, he spends more quality time with me and the kids. He has started helping me our around the house but I am now at this point where I really want to get my own place and call it quits. I feel to a point where the damage is done and I can't do it anymore. I have sat down and looked at my financial well being and I could do it on my own with the two kids. I guess my question is if I stay will it really be ok or if I go am I really messing things up for me and my kids?
2007-12-06 04:31:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We all do this...
You know, there comes times in our lives where we all tell ourselves that we are NEVER going to do something again. This usually comes from a time in our lives when we admit to being miserable. We say, I am Never going to give all of me ever again. I am Never going to put all of my effort into a hopeless case.
But why??? Why do we say that? We say that because we hated that time in our lives.
However I can honestly say, that even in my misery, I absolutely LOVED the person that was causing it all. We are all completely miserable in our lives at one time or another.
So this has happened in your life and even though you have told yourself no...no this is not going to happen again, it does.
It is foolish to think that you will never be unhealthily smitten by someone more than once, but you think that until it happens again. Then you are in too fast. It is your life. It is your current situation.
I have been thinking about this and I think I know the reason why.
Look at the following photos
Isn't this care nice! Beautiful huh!? Wow, what a dream!http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h27/soccerbrace/Car-Details-088.jpg
Look at this happy couple! Beautiful huh!? Wow, what a dream!
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h27/soccerbrace/23465729.jpg
I say dream because it is exactly that. You see a glimpse, you have a vision. The drive within you pushes you to think that things could someday be like that.
Even though the car currently looks like this...
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h27/soccerbrace/Automobiles-105.jpg
and your current relationship is like this...
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h27/soccerbrace/23283044.jpg
You still see potential, and human nature fights for that regardless of whether it is a losing battle. In your heart, you know it is, but the fact that your mind paints a perfect picture, you cling on to that last thread and climb for the top. That car will not reverse the rust on there, and you know that your partner will not make the same effort as you so your efforts are futile. You might as well try to catch your shadow......
2007-12-06 05:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by james j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may feel comfortable because it's familiar to stay with someone who treats you poorly but doesn't let you go.
(Im in the same boat 2 and a half years)
He left for hongkong on business three weeks ago and it has given me a chance to realize that the only reason I longed for him was because it was familiar. Being with other guys (dates) but not cheating yet has helped me realize that I deserve better and he wasn't so great.
2007-12-06 04:40:14 · answer #2 · answered by justme 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough decision only you can make. The question is do you love him? Do you think he can change? Talk to him and let him know how you feel. Let him how you appreciate the change and effort he has given and you would hope it could stay like this. Good Luck to you all.
2007-12-06 04:36:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to give him a chance then let him try. It will be harder than it appears. Real change in a long history or pattern of behavior takes a lot of dedication and effort over a period of time. Chances are he will relapse and you can have peace of mind that you gave it one more chance if you decide to end it.
2007-12-06 04:35:19 · answer #4 · answered by Sweetness 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty obvious that you've already got your mind made up. Why would you have put up with that for two years anyway? Just move. Tell him it's been real and it's been nice but it hasn't been real nice.
2007-12-06 04:35:52 · answer #5 · answered by Poppy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to the your intuition, if you trust it then you will know what you do is right for you and your family.
2007-12-06 04:38:24 · answer #6 · answered by wrathofkahn03 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋