If R&P gave lessons on the history of rock to all of the "unenlightened"...?

Question

What class would you teach?

I guess mine would be "Required 80s Metal Listening".

It would cover the period from 1983 - 1992 with an emphasis on the LA scene and MTV's Headbanger's Ball. It would also cover influences and follow-ups on the major acts of the period.

Oh, and have no fear, I'm bringing Sylvia in to make the transition from emo-speak to English easier for our new students.

Rckets, we'll be meeting about your tenure later in the year.

Professor Bowzer, please refrain from snarling and showing your teeth this year when your students aren't immediately receptive. If I have anymore complaints, I'm going to have to remove the jerky treats from the lounge.

Fonzie, let's save that Italian prog for the Master's program.

Answer 1

Professor Bowzer will be offering the following courses at the Yahoo! Institute during the next academic year:


"Your Dad Once Grooved To That Riff, In Fact, You May Have Been Conceived To It, "Ewwwww" To You, Too: A Short History Of Plagiarism, Sorry, "Sampling", In Hip-Hop"


"The Chuck Berry - Buck Cherry Conundrum: Musical Acts That Dyslexic People Should Avoid Ordering Online, To Avoid Disappointment"


"Why Blink-182 Is "Punk" In The Same Way That Cherry Coke Is Hard Liquor"


Optional credits:


"wHy I NeEd To gEt My cAPs lOcK kEy FiXed, bUt nOt aS urGenTly aS mY sPeLLinG"


"Why Gerard Is Not The Way: Post-MCR Rehabilitation Class"***








*** The Slit Wrist Repair Module will require a staple gun, drywall joint compound, and silicone sealant. Students will need to bring their own supplies for this Module - they will not be provided by The Yahoo! Institute For Musical Redemption.

Whining in an emo-ish manner about the cost of silicone sealant will lead to marks being deducted from student's overall score.


EDIT: NOOOOO, not the jerky treats! OK, I'll be nice... : )

LOL, Dani G - "Ska: Not Just Punk With A Horn Section"!

Answer 2

I laughed out loud when Carter said, "As long as there is a Democratic President in the White House, we will have a strong and viable Social Security System, free of the threat of bankruptcy." I too remember them saying that SS had so much money that it could never go bankrupt. I guess they were talking about that mythical "lock box". Yes, they do think that we are stupid. SS should have been privatized decades ago. Had we been allowed to invest this money we'd all be very well off today. More importantly, our spouses/children, as opposed to the government, would get all of the remaining funds in the event of an untimely death. I know that I'm dying young. It sickens me to know that my family won't get the remaining funds, which is well over a couple hundred thousand dollars.

Answer 3

Identifing Punk Rock 101:

In this class, I will sift through all that new commercial crap and expose the pupil to what is real punk rock. I will show students how to identify real punk rock from the fake $hit with hands-on lab work (simply put, listen to the radio. If it's on the radio, it's not punk). I will also show students the only 3 chords necessary to play thousands of punk songs.

Industrial/EBM Basics 101:

This course exposes the student to the only new genre worth listening to. This course will require a lot of CD purchases and/or downloads and might get quite expensive. Prerequisits include acceptable marks in Synth 101 and Computer Programming 101.

Answer 4

You would have to include different segments on the various genres such as early death/black metal, thrash, the BWOHM, and the near downfall of metal; grunge.

ill make The Beginnings: Metal's Early Years 1960 - 1983 and talk about bands such as Iron Butterfly, Steppenwolf, Rolling Stones, KISS, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, and ofcourse Black Sabbath and we can merge them into a DVD and get rich

Or I could do Nail In The Coffin: The Rise And Death of Nu-Metal. Required listening would be Korn, Slipknot, Staind, Limp Bizkit, Mudvayne, Soil, Drowning Pool, Union Underground, Cold, System Of A Down, Disturbed. Chances are nobody else would teach a nu-metal class

Answer 5

There's a few ways I could go for this endeavor. Hopefully this college that we'll all be teaching at will provide me with an airtight tenure.

Goth vs emo: a breakdown of the differences in culture and music.

Real Punk 101

The Decline of MTV Civilization

The History of Industrial Music from Throbbing Gristle to the present.

A lab study showing how listening to really bad emo music will erode your grammar and verbal skills, until you can only "text-talk."

Advanced "Why Bands Don't Save Lives"

Abnormal Psychology based around real life examples of Scott Stapp

Anatomy 330 - The Proper Technique For Slicing a Wrist

Advanced Economics - How To Sell Out And Make a Ton Of Cash

Why Avril Lavigne Isn't Punk Rock

Sociology 101 - Who Are All The Celebrities In That Rockstar Video?

Answer 6

I would have to teach a punk related class. I'll leave intro to someone else. Perhaps I'll go with "Fusion of Traditional World/Cultural stylings with Punk."

This would relate to bands like Scotch Greens, Gogol Bordello, Throw Rag, The Tossers, Screaming Yeehaws, Real McKenzies, etc.

I could also do a roots of rock class. Geared toward early influences of Blues, Jazz, Big Band, Country, etc.

Answer 7

I'm thinking I could give a pretty in depth course on Late Nineties Indie.

Please open your text to chapter 2, The Velvet Underground + Echo and the Bunnyment = A Sonic Revolution

Answer 8

My class would be the follow up to yours... 1991-1995: Exploring Grunge, Alternative, and the Renaissance of The Counterculture... or.... How the Record Industry and Corporate Media Whored, Exploited and Eventually Killed a Good Thing.

Answer 9

LMAO!!! Well, it looks everything has been covered. I suppose i could teach "The Many Rip-Offs Committed By Avenged Sevenfold". Among the topics discussed would be "The Winged Skull : Also Seen On Overkill Album Covers".

Answer 10

"The American Thrash Metal Scene: How it grew, thrived, died and is being reborn from East coast to West." Would go from the history of Overkill being a cover band in New Jersey, spawning off members of Anthrax, the Bay Area Thrash Scene, Metallica's recording of Kill 'Em All (and how instrumental Anthrax was to helping them out), the formation of Megadeth (along with a young Kerry King playing a few gigs as a member), the growth of "secondary" bands like Testament, Exodus, Death Angel, discovery of bands such as Sanctuary, Forced Entry, Forbidden, and the branching off to progressive thrash (Nevermore, Symphony X, etc).