me and my husband decided to stop smoking at the same time after I found out I was pregnant, we had been wanting to quit for yrs. Anyway to cut a long story short... while I quit..... he pretend to and found out he's still smoking, its driving me nuts he started smoking in the house in front of our 2yr old again... since I put my foot down about him not smoking in the house, he goes out every night to his mates to smoke.
Got him patches he won’t use as he doesn’t believe in nicotine replacement says he want to go cold turkey and he'll stop in a few days (been hearing this for yrs)
What can I do to make him stop ?!?
2007-12-06 03:56:50 · 25 answers · asked by Sasha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop nagging him for a start - buying him patches isn't helping as its TELLING him what to do and we don't like to be TOLD - we arent children.
Simple ultimatum - "We agreed to stop smoking and I have managed it but you aren't putting in enough effort. Are we doing this for our own health and the health of our children?"
To which he will say "Yes", of course, then hit him with:
"You haven't stopped and it is upsetting for me and I am still worried about the health of our children and us, can you agree to stop smoking on January 1st?"
(Important - just get him to agree to stop, don't tell him how to stop)
And then get him to sign a piece of paper addressed to your children saying "I will give up on........"
And if he doesn't not only will he have let himself down, he will have let his family down, and for my money its justice for divorce - if daddy smells of cigarettes then the child will grow up to associate that smell with the comfort of parents.
2007-12-06 04:08:09 · answer #1 · answered by Paul M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lady Nicotine is by far the most addictive drug out there. So the patch did not work, cold turkey only works if the person has max will power. Going to bars does not help while you are quiting. For the sake of the kiddo and your husbands health, find something that does. BTW, the only way it really works is if the smoking person really wants to quit. No paying lip service you have to want it. Also, getting on his case is not the way to get it done. You are correct with him not smoking in the house around the child. Good luckand ihope he quits for HIS sake.
2007-12-06 12:17:16 · answer #2 · answered by bootsontheroad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him quit until he is ready. I have been asking my husband to quit for over 8 years. I know he'll stop when he's ready, but it does make it hard.
Be proud and happy that you were able to stop smoking and you gave your child the best start, and for putting your foot down about smoking in the house. That's something my husband and I have agreed on...no smoking in the house.
2007-12-06 12:19:21 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to MAKE him stop, the only way he will stop is when he is ready to stop. The more you try to make him, the more determined he will become to NOT stop. He is an adult, and although he does have a family to consider, he still has the right to make choices about himself.
I am afraid you are going to do alot of damage to your relationship with him if you continue to press him. He knows how you feel and maybe one day he will just up and decide to quit, but I am sure he won't as long as he is feeling pressured to do so.
2007-12-06 12:03:24 · answer #4 · answered by mrsmommaid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing that someone is going to check can help to keep people on track. There are a few things not to do if you want someone to stop smoking. If he wants to keep smoking, you can't force him to stop. My husband recently started smoking again (after being smoke free for over 10 years). He doesn't smoke around me or my daughter, but it grosses me out and ..... Stop smoking in Manchester
2013-12-13 06:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever he feel the need to smoke after he
have decided to quit, get up and move around instead. A brief physical activity can provide hem
with the lift that he may have received from nicotine.
2014-03-05 04:22:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him quit....He has to WANT to quit...It doesn't appear that he really wants to...At the very least he could have went outside to smoke and not smoke in front of your 2 year old....
Some people can quit cold turkey...I told my husband before we even started dating...to choose the cigarettes or choose me...but that he couldn't have both...That was almost 2 years ago....
2007-12-06 12:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay my dad was a chain smoker...my mom was always so crazy at him to give up...30 years he smoked every day...he had absolutely NO willpower to quite...until
2 weeks ago he went to our doctor who sent him to see a consultant who gave him pills (very new and only in the trail stages) he pops 3 a day and hasnt smoked a cigerette since!! OMG we are all in complete shock...
its not a nicotine replacement but it works on cutting out all cravings...hopefully it will be more widely available soon, but it sure does work...its exciting
2007-12-06 12:05:44 · answer #8 · answered by CDsummersun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were a smoker too... As I was in the past. So, you should know that quitting smoking doesn't come from someone else's desires for you to quit. It has to come from his own desire to quit.
You could try to incentivize him with some analogies...
Examples:
Is it important for him to one day hold a grandchild? He may not make it that far.
Children learn from their parent's example... does he want his child to grow up a smoker?
2007-12-06 12:04:39 · answer #9 · answered by NH_MCD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that you can do to make him stop. He has to want to quit. Until he decides to quit he will not do so.
I would tell him to smoke outside and not hang out every night with his mates. Tell him that you do want him home. The more he hangs out, the more he will smoke.
Take care,
Troy
2007-12-06 12:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋