Please read if you want to help me :(*opinions needed!*?

Question

Lets start with the day so you get a good perspective. The guy that I like whom asked me out a few weeks ago but has to postpone the date till the 13th cause he gets his licence back that day from speeding. Anyways..he has made it obvious he likes me, he knows I do too now..he was sceptical and self concious asking me out thinking I wouldnt like him. Yesterday I went to the casino (where he works). And went to guest services and they said "happy birthday sarah"..I did not know how they knew me. They gave me a envelope where I opened it and there was a gift card from the guy I like for 25$! and it said "good luck" with a heart around his name. I saw him and gave him a hug and he asked if I wanted to go outside with him for a smoke to which of course I said yes. He gave me a extra coat of his cause it was cold. I went out and we talked, he was like "ya I told my dad 'wow she can cook!she can really cook!'" (becuase I told him I cook before). When we went inside he asked if I wanted to

come in his office and talk. So I did and we did talk, and laugh and he was holding a pen and fumbled it ..laughed and set it down and he was tapping his foot really fast. He told me "ya me and my co-workers were peeking at you playing from the blinds and we thought you caught us once haha". Later he was staring then came up to me wondering if I was winning and a co-worker came up and said "you know this guy? he is such a player..10-20 girls at a time..ya" and the guy I like just laughed and blushed then his friend said he was just messing with me. and the guy I like said his co-workers give him a hard time..2nd time he said that that night. And he told me his friend said he will try and get me and the guy I like was like "hell no you stay away from her! haha". Here is the problem of this all, I told him my girlfriend who works there is getting a divorce and he was talking then went "shes married?" I said yes, he was like " wait..are you serious?" and I said ya..he asked why and I said

Her husband is a jerk (she is 20 btw) who cheats on her and he said "well she wont be married for long" or something. I tried to be slick and asked if he knew her cause shes really cool and he said he doesnt know her. I asked him later how many dates he has been on and he said only 1 since his 4 yr relationship with his ex which ended a year ago. And that he doesn't really know where to go on a date. I am ratting my brain about how he reacted to her being married...i don't know if I am paranoid cause everything seemed reallllly good. She is not ugly by all means..but she kind of..let herself go and I know she is a flirt. I am just really hoping he has eyes for only me however selfish that sounds..I don't know if what I told you will give you perspective or not..just give me a opinion ..thank you!

Answer 1

1. You are not selfish in wanting one person all to yourself. Romantic love should be "selfish" in terms of being exclusively faithful to only each other.

2. His comment to your friend being married is a definite red flag. If he doesn't know her at all, he could care less about her marital status. Indirectly test him by mentioning about his comment and see how he reacts. If he says, "Oh it's just what I have heard....," then why should he care about gossip on somebody he does not even know exists? Obviously, she has caught his eyes enough for him to be surprised at her marital status.

Most likely, he has already done something with her (use your imagination on the list of what they could possibly have done together).

3. Obviously, YOUR eyes are only on him: you haven't noticed the existence of his friends & co-workers, otherwise you would be talking in more details about them already. Now why can't his eyes be all on you and ONLY on you? Why does he even notice the EXISTENCE of any other female besides you, ESPECIALLY since it's only the beginning of your courtship? I have heard of and seen other men's eye wandering after they've been in a relationship for 10+ years, but NOT when they're trying to impress you during the dating period. How many other females' marital status does he have misconceptions about?

4. According to your description, so far this guy has only mentioned about how much he and his friends have "checked you out," NOTHING about your eyes (which I highly doubt he could have seen from the window unless he used binoculars, but if that were the case: scary) OR your personality, character, voice, etc. Why??

5. Just because you told him you can cook and he claimed that he already told his family that you "can really cook?" Come on, has he even tasted your cooking yet?? Don't you feel sooo flattered that he's already "bragged" about you to his family WITHOUT even knowing you well enough yet???

6. A relationship is more than 2.5 hours (the cost of the gift card) of his paycheck and definitely much more than a dose of comic flattery from him and his friends. You deserve more than that.

Answer 2

Hang on a bit. If you start to get the feeling that he's a player, dump him. Check his body language when you bring up the subject. Best of luck.

Answer 3

i would play it out a little bit longer with a few more dates or "encounters" and just try to pick up little hints on how his body reacts when you bring up the divorce subject. say, you mention her name and he looks at the ground as if he's thinking, if even momentarily, or if he keeps his attention trained on you. just a thing you could try i guess.

Answer 4

why ask this question so many times?,his probably married anyway