Should I get a vasectomy????

Question

My wife and I currently have 2 kids together. She is in the Army (active duty) and I am a stay at home dad also in the Army (resreves). Our kids are 3 and 1 1/2. If we have any more I would like to have them while our other two are still kinda young. I would like to have another baby in our life but my wife and I arent on the same page about this. She thinks that we should stick with two. I get discouraged when we talk about it and she is not right there with me. I dont mind just sticking with two though. I dont want to beg her to get pregnant and be miserable the whole time. So should I keep pressing her hoping the idea will grow on her or should I give up and get snipped? I mean we already have two, thats plenty right?

Answer 1

I wouldn't do anything hasty if your aren't 100% sure. There is a new birth control method out there it does the same thing as a tubal for women but can be taken out if minds are changed and its more effective than an actual tubal. Your children are still very young give her a few years and see how she feels then. Good luck.

Answer 2

Wow, what can I say this is always a sore spot in a relationship. You want more children and your wife doesn't. What to do? Well, I suggest you talking to your wife and actually listening to why she doesn't want another child. Is it because of finances, physical reasons, or because of job reasons? You need to find out what her concerns are and see i she has a legitimate point. You are blessed to have the children that you have now. Some couples can not even have one child let alone two. Is your wife asking you to have a vasectomy? I she isn't then I don't think there is a reason for you to go through with the surgery now, she may change her mind about having a child in another year or two. Give it sometime. We are so used to getting things when we want in this society, we now longer have the patients or faith to wait things out. Be patient and wait a little longer. Best wishes

Answer 3

No, you should not get a vasectomy. No one but you can decide if more than two is too many or plenty. Do you have enough finances or love for more? Also, why alter the way your body was meant to work? Men are suppose to be fertile for life and continue to produce sperm throughout their life. If you block up the system with vasectomy, your body is altered; you will produce anti-bodies to your own sperm. And you might develop PVPS...chronic pain in that part of your body...not nice. Plus, she is the one who wants to be done, let her handle it! Don't buy the guilt trip that she had the kids, so now you gotta "suck it up and get the snip"! This is your life too and your body! At the same time, don't pressure her for another child because that is her body; respect her feelings. Your kids are young and her feelings may change with time. GL to you both.

Answer 4

NO. I wouldn't do it. You never know what tomorrow will bring. And no 2 children isn't more than enough for some. I have 5 boys right now. The last were twins. After they were born my husband said no way on having more and I almost got my tubes tied. Now he has changed his mind and we are trying again. Life is a funny thing you just never know what will happen next. If you get the vasectomy it would be so much harder and expensive to reverse it. Don't do it till you are positive you will never have any more. Never know your wife may change her mind.

Answer 5

Well it is your decision about the vasectomy. Personally I would say if you don't want another baby then have her get the snip. That's how me and my husband delt with that decision. We have 3 and I said no more. I would say just wait and maybe after a while she might change her mind. I really wouldn't do anything permanent like that till you know absolutely that you both are never going to want to have another child. I wouldn't press it on her though. Give her time to think of it on her own. Maybe tell her to think about it and leave it at that. Good luck with this and I hope that what ever happens that you are happy.

Answer 6

Have you heard of mirena? Its a method of birth control that lasts for 5 years. My husband (active duty) is undecided as to whether he wants to have more kids. I know I want more but not right now. I have decided to try mirena so if we decide to become pregnant again it should happen easily and all I would need is to get the mirena taken out and if not then after 5 years I can just get a new one inserted. Try discussing this option with your wife.

Answer 7

There are options that are quite effective without beign permanent shoudl she change her mind. I was supposed ot get my tubes tied after this baby-my third, but I just don;t feel right about it yet. I am getting Mirena instead which actually, form what Im reading is MORE effective than tubal ligation anyhow. That is good for UP TO 5 years-can come out sooner, requires no maintenance, and gives me the option of deciding later if it's time yet or not.

Answer 8

Two is plenty in my eyes. Everyone is diffrent. Pregnancy takes a lot out of women. Some women love it, and dont mind, others like myself, dont like the changes and ups and downs of pregnancy. Whether you should get a vasectomy is up to you. My husband is military as well, and with his ours, deployments, TDYs, I dont want anymore than two. I am currently pregnant with my first child (34 wks) and always said I want to be able to provide the best I can for my children, and nowadays everything is so expensive, and will only get worse as the years go by. If you are satisfied with two, leave it at that, dont pressure her anymore. Who knows maybe one day she will change her mind, and get baby fever.

Answer 9

You don't have to have a vasectomy just because she doesn't want kids right now. Hold off on that until you are completely happy with the number of children you have. You can't reverse it. Just use other methods to make sure she doesn't become pregnant. Don't push the topic either. She will either give in just to shut you up (and be miserable) or it may push her away.

Answer 10

I can't tell you if you should go for more kids or not. That's your choice, and responsibility. If you can raise them, and care for them, and house and feed and clothe and educate them, great. But I have just 1 kid, and I know how much work that is. And given the overpopulation in the world already, is it responsible to have a 3rd kid? Again, it's your call.

But I can say that a vasectomy is quick, painless, and easy. If you're looking at a surgical means of not having kids any more, this is the one to do. It's a lot easier on you than a tubal ligation is for your wife.

Three recommendations if you do this -

first - schedule it for a time when you can have 2-4 days of downtime afterwards. You won't be moving a lot afterwards, and having quiet time to rest and recover will be appreciated.

Second - have something cold and comfortable to use if you need it. My doctor recommended a ziploc bag of ice, wrapped in a towel.

Third - rent a stack of movies ahead of time.