About 5 months ago, I met a wonderful guy online and decided to move to be with him. At the time I knew he had a two year old and was in the process of getting a divorce from his wife. The woman cheated on him.
He has a decent job but all his money goes toward a bankruptcy payment (declared before the divorce) which she refuses to help pay, child expenses and a lawyer. She currently is unemployed and keeps saying she will get a job but nothing has materialized yet. They've agreed to split custody and not to have a child support payment.
However, I don't trust her and neither does he. She threatened his life before when he told her that she needed to be on time to pick up their son otherwise she would make him late for work. She has violent mood swings and seems jealous of me for moving in town and immediately getting a job at the place she always wanted to work at. Now she is treating me like trash and we think she is going to sue for child support. What can i do? What can we do?
2007-12-06 02:08:59 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to add an interesting note: she threatened his life in front of his two year old son.
2007-12-06 02:12:44 · update #1
It would be difficult to explain why I would willingly move myself into this situation. I'll just say two things, he refuses to take my money to help with his problems even though I have offered it and things between us are great. I didn't ask for all the problems, but when they come with a guy I love, I will deal with them.
2007-12-06 02:21:26 · update #2
even though she's the one cheated, she gets pissed having to see your face. It's just the way it goes. It really isnt your business to bud in on whether she demands child support or whatever..that is an agreement between them two and the courts. You should just plan for a rough road ahead because they do share a son together meaning she will always be a part of your life. Just support the guy whatever happens and if you really dig him and just let them be.
2007-12-06 02:43:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your life will depend upon what the judge decides. Courts do not look favorably upon "shacking up" relationships and in general feel that those relationships are NOT in the best interest of children. Therefore, due to your live-in situation, the judge may grant full custody to the mother, in which case, your boyfriend will have to pay child support. It sounds as if that's what the mother is going for anyway. It doesn't really matter if she cheated on him or verbally threatened him as it's his word against hers. No police record? Didn't happen. The fact is, if she's not shacking up with anyone, it would be very easy for her to make a better case of being able to provide a much better "moral environment" for the child. If you want your boyfriend to have a better case, you better move out.
2007-12-06 04:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
seperation, legal or not, in gods eyesight your still married. until a divorce is final a person is still married. so what is going on here is that you have really knocked up someone's wife. you do need to be their for your child, but you should have waited to make her your girlfriend. they could both decide tomarrow that they wanna call off the divorce and close the case. they can get back together and you will just be another baby daddy. its to late now so you gotta be there for the baby.
2016-05-28 10:37:43 · answer #3 · answered by madeleine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5months ago, Sorry but he needs to get his priorities straight.How can he have time to involve someone new in such a mess.
He's the only one working,the mother of his child is that violent and he's not using the rest of his time to going back and forth to court to get custody of their child and put her in jail for threating his life????????????? What's he thinking about?
And you have a job & life that you can so easily pick up and leave,then move to a place where you aggreivate the situation more.And now you think she should treat you well?Come on honey,be smarter than that.I'm not saying anything bad about him.But how do you know what's really going on!All you can do is put yourself in the line of fire.Especially,if you volunteer to babysit.
You need to get out of the situation,they are still legally married.Your involvement could jeopardize him getting custody of the child. She can say he's committed adultery.And get sole custody of the boy!
You and he need to look at what is really important-THE CHILD!
The little boy loves his mom unconditionally! She is abusing him.How is he going to accept you,he's to young to reason all this adult stuff out!
Let this grown man, Handle His Buisness.And you don't need "Baby Mama Drama".
2007-12-06 02:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by need2know 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry she sounds horrible, but you are only the girlfriend so you really need to stay out of it. It will be easier on you if you do. Let them tangle it out, divorce is ugly especially when children are involved there aren't any winners. Not her not him and not that child. Even if you become his wife she will never go away because no matter what she is the biological mother and he is the father of that child and that bond is forever. There will always be ups and downs, agreements and disagreements. My advice to you is mind your own business and just be a shoulder to lean on when your guy needs you. If you get involved your throwing yourself into the snake trap. Remember you are just the girlfriend, her respect for you is zero.
2007-12-06 02:45:57 · answer #5 · answered by Maria 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
bankruptcy? not even divorce? 5 months? online guy? you moved!? he has a 2 year old already and moved into that enviornment? MY question is why the heck did you move to be with a person you BARELY know with ALL of this drama and who is still legally MARRIED?!?!!!!
i think you need to get OUT of this situation as soon as possible. there is NO way he can be emtionally stable enough to date while in the process of divorce...you're a rebound and someone to help pay bill and make him feel less like loser. if you want to date this person, at least do so at your own house in your own state and use your own money for your own things. this is ALL wrong
ps. she probally will sue for child support.
pps. you cant do anything because this is not your child and you barely know your boyfriend and you jus tmove to this place and know nothing of their resources. GET OUT OF THIS DRAMA-FEST NOW!
2007-12-06 02:15:51 · answer #6 · answered by happypants 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Before you make any other decisions in your life and believe everything you hear these are the facts of life:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage ruins relationships(moving is the same)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth if not just
keep believing the lies you hear from
everyone around you.
2007-12-06 03:31:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should not get involved at all. That is soley between him and his wife.. Why would you move if he is not divorced yet? My boyfriend has two kids and I refuse to get in the middle of him and his ex-wife battle. She really does not have to respect you. I really think you should stay out of it and let him be a man and handle his own business.
2007-12-06 03:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by Twinkle 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its never good to be in a relationship with someone who has children or drama going on with thier Ex you'll end up in tha middle like u are now and it will only put stress on you. Leave him alone before u get into deep. Hes always going to have problems with his ex He'll proabaly end up with her again as alwayz
2007-12-06 02:32:14 · answer #9 · answered by Moon.87 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This isn't your business. It's between him and her. The court will settle the custody and child support issue and they will have to follow the court order.
2007-12-06 02:14:03 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋