*****
I’m writing a book about God,
well…not really.
It’s about how God wants us
to divide our pirate’s booty…
It’s about which sins are back in,
and… the unforbidden...
or, what weapons are fair,
in a fight for our rights.
The story’s about my brothers,
not Mothers…graveside weeping, or
Satan sleeping on the lawn,
of the White House…
The theme is a dream,
nightmarish…it seems.
The moral is decay, spirit
fades away as stripes bleed.
*****
2007-12-06 01:47:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
So, if there is a Democrat in power this does nto apply? How do you spell that sound that iced tea makes as it blows out your nose?
2007-12-06 02:53:03 · update #1
Stripes of the American Flag bleeding...you have issues with politics, huh. But, your analogy between writing a book about......and politics of an unpopular war are quite evident! You have succeeded WELL in this poem!
The theme of your book is no dream, though nightmares do awfully well in the sunlight, too!
Heads up on this one...and thumbs up on delivering a 'war' poem so well, when most are trite failures!
Elysabeth Faslund...Poemhunter.com
2007-12-06 02:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by Elysabeth 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Interesting use of internal rhyme. Although I don't support your viewpoint, I do support your poetic style and talent. I'd recommend you watch the use of ellipses...they're properly used in some places, and not in others. I wouldn't call the piece "dark" as much as "left" and it would be interesting to hear your views on it 20 years from now. Meanwhile, keep refining your style, it shows your promise as a writer...even if you're on the other side of the political fence.
2007-12-06 10:50:58 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes! I've been having the same type of nightmares, but can't express them in the way you do. Be of good cheer, however, the nightmares will soon be over, although the residue will remain in our subconscious and that of the world for decades to come.
2007-12-06 10:20:44 · answer #3 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Satan sleeping on the lawn,
of the White House…
so this is where Rovester lives, dang!, you learn something new every day...
2007-12-06 10:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I too needed a trip to the vomitorium after this one. Well puked!
Hey! What are friends for?
2007-12-06 10:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by Ha'ole Boy! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
'Divide our pirate's booty'....LOL!!!
I like it...it reminds me of Vietnam days...my friends who were there...and my friends who ran up to Canada.
I think Satan WAS sleeping on the lawn of the White House!!
2007-12-06 12:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very deep, TD.
That word is spelled phthhhhhhhch!
2007-12-06 11:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by Reenie: Mom of Marine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a sad poem. I can only hope the dems will do better.
2007-12-06 13:15:26 · answer #8 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are very good : ) 'Satan sleeping on the lawn,
of the White House…' i love this line very nice : )
2007-12-06 11:28:12 · answer #9 · answered by cinnamon swirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is dark. With no sunrise coming. Very good.
2007-12-06 10:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by Orgazmo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋