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2007-12-06 00:51:41 · 67 answers · asked by maxi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't force him doing anything!
If he will do it that means he cannot live without you!
Wish you my best!
2007-12-06 00:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by Incognito 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Simply put~ No
If he hasn't left her yet...odds are he's not leaving. Married men use all kinds of 'lines' to get a piece on the side. The oen being used on you is a popular one. So is, I'm just there for the kids or my wife doesn't have sex with me anymore (both of which are usually HUGE lies)
He's using you and you should cut him loose while you still have some dignity attached...
He's not leaving her, he's more than likely still having sex with her (as well as you...mmm delicious!) and using you as a "stand in"
Seriously, nothing but heartache here for ALL people involved. Very selfish..... and dangerous if you ask me. What if his wife finds out?... some woman go a little nutty when situations like this occur. He may even become consumed by guilt and come out and tell her what hes done...hopefully she leaves him...
2007-12-06 01:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by busymum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find it amusing that people on here say that you're being used. What an antiquated way of looking at things -- and sexist as hell. Come on people, wake up. Women use men as much as men use women. Women get a piece of @$$ too. Geez.
To answer your question, absolutely not. This guy is not likely to leave his wife for you. There are too many reasons for him not to do that. Sometimes men will do this but it's not common. Most of the time, men will lie to you and / or to themselves that they will leave.
Getting involved with a married man carries a lot of risks for you. It's kind of like renting a car and not being sure when you've got to turn the thing in. I suppose you get what you want out of it while it lasts. But if you have thoughts of keeping the thing forever, you're more than likely fooling yourself. Then there's the practical question you've got to ask yourself... You know the guy isn't faithful. Is that really something you want long term?
So I say just use the guy and get what you want out of him while he does the same with you. Don't have any illusions about what this is. You're likely too smart for that -- most women are.
I won't get into the morality part of this... I don't think it's cool at all but that's for you to decide. Just don't fool yourself into thinking this is a permanent arrangement. See it for what it is and you'll be less likely to be disappointed.
Most women deserve better than an emotionally unavailable man. And that's what a married man is. And I think that's why some women like married men. They're "safe". You know that it can only go so far.
Humans sure do weird things. But I'm not looking down my nose at you for it. I know what it's like to be doing something unwise but have it feel right -- until I woke up and realized that it wasn't right. Life is full of such lessons and we all live them.
Good luck to you. Try not to get your heart broken.
2007-12-06 01:07:29 · answer #3 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maxy,,,He would have done it the first week he met you if he was so unhappy where he is at. Love is powerful, and sometimes we can't control certain things. But we also have to be realistic. I know a lot of people will judge you in this forum. I won't. The only thing I will tell you is that he is married. End of that story. Now you have to distance yourself from that situation because you are worth so much more than that. You do not want to start a relationship with a person that cheated on his spouse. It's not going to work. But for you there's still plenty of hope of a recovery from this experience and in due time find that this was all a mistake and that life have better choices for you in the future!
2007-12-06 01:00:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want him to? Let's say he does and then a couple years down the road when he's bored with you just like he's bored with his wife, he starts seeing some other woman who doesn't understand the importance of leaving married or unavailable men alone. I know, you're thinking - but this is me, I'm special, I'm different. I'll never do to him what his wife is doing and he'll never want to cheat on me. Honey, this isn't about you. It's about him. He'll do the same to you that he's doing to her.
You are indeed special though you're not acting like it right now. You're not respecting yourself enough to know that what you're doing is wrong and what he's doing is wrong.
I know you're human and you need someone. But, honey, leave the married men alone. Find someone who is available, you're far more likely to end up happy in the end.
2007-12-06 01:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by Holly 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, yet he controlled to get her pregnant and marry HER(against his will in accordance to him besides-lol.) w/o questioning approximately you jointly as doing it(or her)? No, the reality is this: he's having problems together with her magnificent now and offering you with some BS tale approximately how he replaced into made to marry her b/c she have been given pregnant. Married human beings do this to benefit sympathy from you. do no longer you already know that he's putting the diploma right here? you're letting him dictate how issues are going to pass. He is conscious he's have been given the spouse at domicile and would have a intercourse important different on each occasion he needs or needs it. Why would he exchange something? He would not see you as spouse-fabric Hon, you are the "relaxing lady," yet it somewhat is it. you are able to draw little hearts alongside with your names on all your notebooks all day long, yet he shouldn't marry you. awaken, he's not in love with you(and no, it isn't any longer proper which you're "intense college sweethearts," that replaced into years in the past. And he did no longer marry you probably did he? If he enjoyed you, he would've made a fashion for it to take place. He did no longer!) , he needs greater intercourse-it somewhat is it! whether you got him interior the tip, you would be magnificent the place his spouse is in 5 to 10 yrs-keep in mind, what comes around, is going around sweetie!
2016-11-13 20:31:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When pigs fly. Why would he leave her for you to go through the same crap. You obviously don't know the facts of life so I'll teach you:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage ruins relationships(moving is the same)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth if not just
keep believing the lies you hear from
everyone around you.
2007-12-06 03:39:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very rare that a man will leave his wife for the woman with whom he is having and affair. I am not saying it won't happen but it is very unlikely. Face it; in his mind he has the best of both worlds, a wife and the mother of his children and all the stability inherent in that and you with whom he can indulge his carnal desires.Quite frankly that is the oldest line in the book and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
Get some self-respect and find your own man, not someone else's.
Two more things that you should consider:
1. If he does leave his wife you two should date for at least a YEAR before thinking of marriage.
2. The very best revenge for his wife to have on you is to let you have him.
2007-12-06 01:11:08 · answer #8 · answered by Janet's Mac 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that all those years he told his wife that he LOVED her, he was just playing! Of course he has never loved anyone until he met you! And he would NEVER lie to you the way that he lied to HER, because he loves you so much, he is going to leave her because he can't be without you!!
HERE IS YOUR CLUE: Married men that are going to leave their wives don't talk about it-they just do it! They don't say they are going to, they don't have to keep telling their mistress-I'll leave her soon-they just do it. Men are different than women, and when its over that's it-no "I need closure" no "Its complicated" no, nada, zip zilch. If he were really going to leave his wife, he would have told HER that, not you.
Be smarter next time, stay away from another woman's man, and have enough self esteem to recognize that you are worth more than being used!
2007-12-06 01:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by Daisy 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
The truth is, he probably won't leave his wife. What are you doing with a married man in the first place? Their are sooo many single guys out there! Move on! He's cheating on his wife! Even if he were to leave his wife for you, you could never trust him! If he'd cheat on his wife, he'd cheat on you just as easily!
2007-12-06 00:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's not free, then flee.
As a couples therapist I've had lots of cheating husbands tell me that they tell their mistress things that will keep her happy so they can have the cow and the milk. I've never seen one leave their families for the mistress.
Try this great guide:
Is Your Relationship Healthy? Some Questions To Ask Yourself
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-is-your-relationship-healthy.html
2007-12-06 04:04:27 · answer #11 · answered by lovehealer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋