I hate my father in law?

Question

He is a good for nothing looser and a pile on in my life
My wife being her daughter like him too much as he is a master in gaining sympathetic opinion from others
last year he suffered a heart stroke and I got him operated with my money ( I wish I had not done that )
Now that A££ Hole is back on his feet's again and troubling my life
He was always cheating on her wife ( who is dead now) all his life , At 60 he still looks at women on street as if he is just 20
Horny bastard is now going around with a 22 year old girl
please help me - tell me how the hell do I get rid of him
I like my wife but this is getting tooooooooo much for me to handle

Answer 1

Go Tonya (answer above), best advice, move a long way away.
Wife and I have difficult outlaws on both sides - made much easier to manage by about 420 miles.
Then set boundaries on when you will answer the phone and how many calls / how much time per week you are happy to give them.
You will still get grief but the damage will be manageable. Good luck!

Answer 2

Trust me, it could be worse. You could have my father-in-law. He is a good for nothing, leach, who also believes he should be chasing 20 year olds (he is an old, used up looking 55 year old). But he will also take whatever he believes he is entitled to, if it belongs to someone else or not. He has been in prison, but somehow that is someone else's fault, not his. He drives around in other people's cars without having a license (3-4 DUI's) and without telling the people, cause it embarrasses him, he works for my husband because he can't find a job anywhere else, but makes it out to look like he is doing my husband the favor. He tells other people that my husband (his son) rips him off all the time with his pay. He tried to gain sympathy by lying about having colon cancer (right now he is claiming that he has to have knee replacement surgery. I'll believe it when I see it). He promises he will do things with the kids and then doesn't show, leaving the kids here to ask us why grandpa isn't there. He is chronically late for work, and My husband puts up with all of it. I say nothing. I used to, but then it was starting to interfere in my marriage. It hurts my husband that he has such a loser for a father. He wants him to be a good dad, and gives him chance after chance, but he is always disappointed. So I learned to just listen when he is hurt by him when he doesn't show and to keep my mouth shut when he is around. It makes my life less complicated. I wish he would just go away too, but so far I've had no luck yet........
I guess the trick is to love your spouse more than you hate your in laws...
I wish moving far away would help. We did that. He just ended up following us...(we didn't move to get away from him, it was work related)

Answer 3

Why do you concern yourself with this man's personal life? If he's seeing a 22 year old girl, that's his business. And if he cheated on his wife, that's too bad. She could have left his sorry butt. If she didn't, that was her choice. If he is living in your house and you are supporting him, you should tell your wife that you're no longer going to do that. Either he's going to help with the bills, or he can find another living condition. If he's not living with you, he's not your problem. And if you're bitter about paying for his operation, send him a bill and make him pay some of the money back. If you know he can't do this, chalk it up and don't pay anymore of his medical bills.

Sorry, but I have no sympathy for you. The truth is that you're angry because you're helping your father in law out, to please your wife; and you shouldn't do that. Clearly, you don't like the man's style, but that's no reason to hate him. Find the courage to tell your wife that you will no longer take responsiblity for her father. It's time for him to stand on his own 2 feet and your wife needs to understand that. If she doesn't, that's her problem. Again, stay out of his personal life. It's none of your business.

Answer 4

I really think that you need to talk to your wife about this. Bottling up how you feel and trying to ignore any bad situation is just setting yourself up for self destruction. I sure have learned that the hard way.
Honesty is really your best option.
I know in -laws are supposed to be difficult, but you should be able to stand them. The fact that you hate your father in law should bother your wife, and she should be willing to compromise with you to find a way to make you happy and still be in her father's life.

Perhaps, she could go see him on her own time? and leave you out of the situation?

I really believe that your wife deserves to know how you're feeling. It would be a shame if you let this come between you and possibly ruin your relationship with her because you didn't want to tell her the truth.

There is no ignoring it either...it will continue to bother you unless you do something...talking to your wife is your best bet

Answer 5

Well, you have the guts to talk about it on here, so sit him down with your wife, and explain to him what you think of his morals, and the shenanigans he is committing, and committed. He is a louse for sure if he cheated on his wife. Now with a 22 year old....GEEZZZ.....It was great of you to give him the money for the surgery. Now tell him what you really think.....Let him know he can see his daughter, but she can go to his house to visit that way you are staying out of it.
Nothing wrong with being honest........

Answer 6

i hate to say it but youmarried into it. if he comes around then find something else to do with your time till he goes. or have your wife meet him at his house. its a shame he cheated on his wife for so long but now she is gone and he is free to live the rest of his kife the way he chooses to.you too someday will be old to and by that time i hope your wife is still around with you to share your entire life with. dont let it worry you so much, and if something else happens then tell your wife that you will not foot the bill.

Answer 7

You married your wife not her family. Just love him for her. With that being said; You have to love some people from a distance. Do you!!! Don't allow him to get to you. Think of it this way. While you're stressing, he's all care free. Your anger and frustration is hurting no one but you and your wife. Don't allow ANYONE to jeopardize your marriage.

Answer 8

I say if you want to get rid of him, Then kill him with kindness. He probably can't stand you so if you be really nice to him he will end up getting mad at you and he won't want to be around you anymore. Start hugging him for no reason. Tell him that you love him all the time. That will really aggravate him and give you a good laugh inside also.

Answer 9

I would avoid him and close my wallet. If he is with a 22 year old he must have money and be able to support himself at least. She is young enough and has the energy to take care of him. I would say to him good bye and good luck. As far as your wife goes if she want to hear his tales of woe then good for her let her know your not interested in the conversation.

But, you need to feel sorry for your wife as look at the peace of work she has for a father. It must not be easy for her to see her dad parade around as you say while her mom has passed who he treated badly. Please try to be understanding with her.

Good Luck

Answer 10

Practice your ignoring skills. Why do you give this man this much power over your happiness? He is an adult if he wants to act like an idiot that is his right. You don't have to pay any attention to it, you don't have to loan him money, you don't even have to watch it, and you certainly don't have to let your life and marriage get screwed up over him.