I've been married for 6 years now and have 2 kids. I love my family very much. My husband is travel alot for the business, and 2 days ago he asked if I want to have someone to acompany me and the kids while he wasn't around, he mean a boyfriend. I don't know what to say. Then he convince me that it's ok with him, he wants me to have a boyfriend who really love me and the kids and willing to accept the fact that I have a husband and doesn't want to take me for his own, and also I can't be pragnant by him. He said that he knew I have a feeling for other man, and his right, and again he said as long as it wont make any change in my love to him and the kids, its ok. I don't know i'm going to happy or sorry with it, it's all mix up. he said he love me so much and don't want me to get sad or lonely. please advice, I'm so confuse.
2007-12-05 19:37:09 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, looking at the other responses, you can see how re-active, suspicious, and close minded people are in general. To say that he is sick in the head or crazy is wrong, he's just coming from a different perspective. There is also no evidence that he's cheating on you from what you have written. So don't jump to that conclusion based on what these people here say. Most likely, your husband is concerned with how content you are and wants to make sure that you are satsified sexually and aren't lonely emotionally. It is actually a testament to A. How much he trusts you to stay committed to the relationship despite potential interlopers, and B. That he's willing to allow risk and share you with another in order to make sure you stayed satsified. While it may be unconventional, it proabably means he loves you very much. If he didn't care about you, he wouldn't have proposed the idea.
2007-12-06 00:30:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
You have to do what you think is right, BUT these types of arrangements have worked for some people, not many but some. There are two angles for this. He is afraid he is gone so much that you will find a boyfriend anyway. This way he is letting you know that would be okay with him for while he is away. You know him better than we do so you have to decide if he really is that open minded and not the jealous type. If he is, then this could be an honest offer.
The second part is that more than likely, he has cheated with different women while he has been away. He knows what it is like to be lonely and away from home. So he is trying to keep home happy without having to cost him a divorce and child support. You need to sit him down and find out if this boyfriend offer includes sex. If this is a genuine offer then if you want to and have feelings for someone, help yourself. But the other man needs to know that you are married and have no intentions of leaving your husband. Good luck.
2007-12-05 20:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, so many judgemental answers above. It does NOT mean the husband is cheating. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with -
a) Sharing
b) Accumulating love.
But I think there IS something wrong with churches, the govt, and judgemental people controlling everyone (elses's) sex life.
2014-05-09 01:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by Martin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know of a husband who will tell his wife to have another man. Yall are married an have taken vows. if u keep another man sleep with him ur gonna commit adultry. no way perhaps hes having an affair to are something an he wants u to be equal wit him. Dont do it the greatest thing is that you have your kids they are importants, how is he gonna feel 1 day when his kid grew up around another man are evn gets abuse by another man, emotionally are physically? I agree that they do need a father figure around the house but that doesnt give him any right to say that. what are your kids gonna think wen they see another man kissing on there mom an do all sorts of stuff to there mom they are gonna grow up doing the same thing. remember ur married to you husband so the other man is just there for the pleasure. Look into urself an really ask urself is this really what my husband is saying to me if he had really cared about his kid an what there gonna see he wouldnt have made that suggestion.
2007-12-05 19:50:13 · answer #4 · answered by oney 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Reasons:
1. Your husband found someone special (in overseas)
2. It's a test (to test your patience)
3. Too love you (excuse: don't want you to get sad and lonely)
By the way, do mix around with social friends. But don't put love on it. Remember, you are a married woman with kids.
2007-12-05 19:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by Garry W 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a strange situation. What do you want? Are you not happy with just having a husband and your children?
If you feel lonely and he doesnt mind sharing you then their is something wrong with him. He either is seeing other women while he is away or he likes the idea of you being with another man. And you have children, that will really confuse your children with another man in the home and in your bed while your husband is away.
Really think about the children before doing something like that.
2007-12-05 19:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by crazyjenn99 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your husband loves you as much as he says he does, then why is is asking you to break your marriage vows?? Is this an example you want to show your children of what marriage is which would totally be a lie and a farce. If you do start spending time with another man for long periods of time of course you will have feelings for him regardless of if your telling yourself its only for the company and or sex. Sounds like you really need to make up your mind as to stay with your husband or move on without him.
2007-12-05 19:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by A Messi No More 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sud b honest with u..."Darling I have been cheating on u 4 a few yrs now, and I feel guilty. 2 stop me feeling any more guilt, and just incase I get a lover pregnant, I really want u 2 have a boyfriend so I dont take all the blame wen we divorce" I always say "Every dog has his day"
2007-12-05 20:42:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a girlfriend or is after one.Believe me my husband told me about the same thing & at that moment I knew that he already was seeing someone else or was wanting to.I felt like he wanted me to find someone else just so when I did he could come out in the open about his bad deeds & say "well she cheated on me" or "well look what she's doing.".DON'T fall for it.Just end it.Evidently the love is gone & you should face it & move on.Good luck.
2007-12-06 02:55:15 · answer #9 · answered by Sadie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That does not sound good to me... It's either he has a girl friend and trying to make himself feel better or he's wanting you to commit adultery for proof of divorce, you should really find out what's going on here because no man in his right mind will want his wife with another man i don't care what the situation is. you should really analyze this before doing something you will regret...
2007-12-05 20:05:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋