Why does sex life fizzle after marriage?

Question

Im not currently married but I have heard so many stories about how after a couple has children their sex life fizzles to nothing. I enjoy having sex multiple times a day with my partner, but Im afraid of that ceasing once we decide to have children. Is this something every couple goes through or some and how can I avoid it?

Answer 1

one word.. "routine"

Answer 2

Because after cleaning house, going to work, taking care of kids and picking up the dog from the vet, sometimes all I want to do is sleep. And since we have taken the vow to stay together in sickness and in health then I figure we are stuck thru tired and a few days with no sex too. Routine is a little right...but that doesn't make it bad. People's sex life fizzles cause they let it. And yeah...sex several times a day every day will probably have to cease cause kids take up alot of time. Whats more important to you? Kids or getting the big O everyday? It can be done but when will you have time if you are taking care of a child/children? Hubby isn't going anywhere and we are comfortable and love each other to know that it isn't the end if we don't get to have sex till a few days later. Sex life may have fizzled but I'm not wondering if I'm going to be getting any cause I know I will!

Answer 3

Every relationship is different and all depends on the people involved it doesn't have to fizzle if you don't want it to.. Sure having kids takes a lot of time but you must make couple time to keep your relationship strong and this can be after the children have gone to sleep or whatever fits with you..Peace and Love

Answer 4

It fizzles after marriage because kids usually come into the picture and life will never be the same. For couples without kids it also changes in time. I seriously doubt you will be having sex multiple times a day for ever or wanting to either. It's normal progression of life. Obviously this is a general answer and there will be people who fit every category of frequency and varying degrees of libido and longevity of sexual activity. Enjoy where your at for now.

Answer 5

Life is not about sex. As we get older we have to find other things that we have in common. Even when we don't have children sex life will fizzle (not necessarily to nothing). Keeping it going depends on you. Multiple sexual encounters are not always possible when you have children but you have to be more creative that's for sure. If it is all about you and your sex life avoid having children....

Answer 6

Well for starts, usually once a woman has a kid, her body is shot and it just gets worse with every kid she pops out. I have 3 kids and part of the reason why I dont like sex as much anymore is because my body disgusts me and I'm fat to boot so I cant move like I used to... fat thighs get in the way.
Another adding factor is once the kids pass that toddler stage, they no longer take naps and it gets harder to get them to go to sleep early. Forget mid-day sex. At best you might have a rare mid-day quicky. So now you're stuck having sex only at night and only after the kids have fallen asleep...you know...when you're exhausted and no longer in the mood. And once your kids get in school, you might spend ALL evening trying to help your kid to do their homework. All that blood sweat and tears is a real mood killer.
Pretty much, at some point, the only thing EITHER of you will have time or energy for will be quickies. And guess what buddy... Women dont like to deal with the mess that sex leaves behind when they're exhausted and have been cleaning other peoples messes ALL day Especially since quickies dont do Anything for the woman.
The cool thing is that you finally realize that there's a lot more worth LIVING for than just sex alone. When I say living, I mean Get Out There And Experience Life.

Answer 7

I am a married man of 40 & a father of 2 I have not felt so.
If what you intend is circusin bed, well that has to stop I do not think that is fizzling out. Only with experience will you mature.
The human act of sex is not for procreation alone or even just for entertainment but also means a much stronger bond.

Answer 8

I don't think some people appreciate how exhausting it is to give birth, to look after a new baby and also as the child grows older you still have to devote many hours of the day to looking after the child. Also after giving birth many women feel uncomfortable with their body, and then there are the hormonal changes which make a woman feel very "up and down" emotionally. I am not saying that all women feel that way, but really think about it, kids take up a lot of time and energy, would you still want sex if you were sleep deprived, moody, exhausted, and feeling unsexy?

Answer 9

Mine has not fizzled. It does tend to be less. Usually it is because of time. When you first get married there are only the two of you. Later you have children and all of their activities. It is harder to fit it in then before. No one was around before and you could do it when ever where ever you wanted. Make an effort to fit it in and you will be fine. When too much is going on we kind of plan it. Gives you something to look forward to

Answer 10

Stress is the biggest killer In a sex life for both partners! But having children can put a big damper on it too! Mostly from the mother part of it, stress of taking care of the baby! many demanding hours and by the time there is any free time, the mother is so worn out that sex is 1,000,000 miles away from her mind! A very soft pillow is her dream land! and a very quiet room and she would be the happiest person for at least a few hours!

But as far as sex fizzling down to nothing, Well I would say that is fault on both partners! As long as couples keep the sex alive and do spontainous things, the sex can always be great! If the male partner allows plenty of time for healing etc. after mother gives birth, the sex part usually if it was great before it will be great again!

Maybe how many times a week , may change because of the demand to raise the baby, but if the couple really want the sex, it will be there! Sex only disappears because the couple choose to let it disappear! and like any doctor will tell you, if you don't use it , you will loose it!

Many medical, like high blood pressure can put a stop to it real fast for men! so I guess with the world changing so fast to over weight people, well that also causes high blood pressure problems! Stress will do a number on sex activity too! I guess couples with or with out children have to learn to find better ways of dealing with stress and make sure they make and find time! for sex to keep them from drifting apart from there sex life's!

Plus many couples that are marriad for quite a few years loose there sex drive mostly because they just get tired or bored with the same oh same oh way, and actually causes cheating! If the couples aren't willing to be open to new ways and plenty of adventurous foreplay, the sex will die down and that's when it fizzles away and may even cause cheating from one or the other!

I have talked to many couples and asked why they cheat on there partners and spouses! and most say either it's because there partner won't do oral sex but yet want them to do it to them! or the partner won't do other things, just the same oh thing all the time!

So like I tell many people that want to know why there spouse is cheating or not as sexual anymore!, If your not willing to pleasure your spouse in all the ways you can! then your not pleasing them and they'll find there sexual pleasure needs else where!

And the women that are always complaining there partners only last 5- 10 minutes and it's over! Well that is one of the reasons! The partner is tired of the same oh thing, so they just want to get it over with, even though they wanted it! I have had many, many men tell me there partner just like lay there and don't do anything else or even willing to try other things! and the men get so frustrated that when they have a chance to cheat they go for it! and many men not lasting very long during sex is because there not getting enough times a week! The lesser times he gets it, the lesser time he'll last!

I think if both partners don't make there sex life a 50/50 activity, then it leaves the door wide open for outside the marriage affairs! Now many would say if the one partner isn't telling the other then it's there problem there not being pleasured enough! Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Many couples feel very uncomfortable when it comes to trying to explain to there partner that they don't satisfy them enough, Hell there afraid of insulting,or embarrassing, and a whole lot more! so it just keeps making the matters worse! I have been told from many women that there's no way in hell there going to put her parners thing in there mouth! but yet they'll admit there partner does that for them all the time and they love it!

Now if that it's a bad one sided sex activity in a marriage I don't know what is! No wonder there partner cheats! There wife's only get the pleasures! I say oh well to her in her cheating partner problem! She's causing the problem so she'll just have to except it! or change her ways in the bedroom!

So if a sex life in a couple fizzles down to nothing! The couple let it fizzle! I advise anyone who wants to keep there sex life alive and great! Is to make sure your partner is the one that likes everything you do from the begining of the relationship! Don't find out years after being marriad that your partner doesn't like the sexual pleasures you do! You'll just become a cheater or Be very frustrated and unhappy in the bedroom! and that's a disaster to any relationship!

Answer 11

you can avoid it by never tqking your partner for granted and by being creative. kids kill the mood because they cause alot of stress and make you extra tired. it takes alot of work to keep things fresh and sizzling. i have been married twice and the sex changed (less) when we had kids. we never recoverd from it. although that wasnt the only reason the first marriage didnt work out it was a big factor. my second husband committed suicide and we didnt have kids but sex fizzled there as well due to a back injury he had. everythings changes so expect that and be open to it. just make sure you are committed to making your partner feel special and desired.