my wife and i have become roommates. roommates with a son and thats about it. she asked me why i was even still with her and i didnt have answer for her but in my head i was thinking "i dont know". is my marriage over? i think if it ended and we seperated we would still be very close, probably too close if you know what i mean. so its not nasty and we dont hate each other. we have no mental connection. can we get that back or is it to late?
2007-12-05 18:10:31 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok then, how do we reconnect mentally? we dont have very much time, work different shifts, and not a lot of money. so it would need to be inexpensive and not very time consuming. any ideas on things to help us reconnect mentally?
2007-12-05 18:22:07 · update #1
how do we reconnect mentally???
2007-12-05 18:30:27 · update #2
I dont think it is ever too late to make things work as long as you both are willing to try. If she is willing to try new things, go new places and rekindle the relationship then there still may be a chance.
2007-12-05 18:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by That Special Someone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I believe it's possible to reconnect. But you both have to put in the effort. And you have to want it enough to make some changes. You already gave some excuses (not enough time, money,etc) for failing. So, if you really want it, stop making excuses and just do it.
Start small...be sure to greet each other with eye contact and a kiss ( when you get home from work, for example) and kiss goodnight everynight. Then, if you can, talk more during the day while you are separated thru text messages, emails, etc , just to keep connected. Do nice things for each other - without having to be asked. Small, inexpensive gifts are nice to let her know you think of her while you're away. Touch each other more - hold hands, rub her neck as you pass by, etc.
The little things will help you to move on to bigger ways to reconnect, like date nights, and weekends together, etc.
2007-12-05 18:34:29 · answer #2 · answered by Charley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up everyone goes through hard times an this is your time! My husband an I have absolutely nothing in common but sex! Oh our kids, but other than that we are total opposites! We have one day a week we spend together an it makes alot of difference in our marriage,1 day! Try for your marriage an your life!people reconnect all the time!
2007-12-05 18:21:54 · answer #3 · answered by ajjsdj4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for ya. Going through the same thing myself. Hang in there. People fall in and out of love all the time with each other. Pray for a reconnection.
2007-12-05 18:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by Steve F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to communicate.
You need to learn skills to communicate.
(ie. Counseling).
And - as the rest have said; she has to want it to work too.
And: my take. . .
This whole "we have nothing in common" thing is a bunch of bull. You don't NEED to have anything in common, likes and dislikes change throughout life. But if you love your partner, you'll deal with that. You only need to have one thing in common, and that's your feelings.
Yeah - it helps when there's some recreational activity the two of you can do together to share good times and build happy memories. Helps a lot. But absense of this? Just an EXCUSE for someone who is looking for one.
2007-12-05 19:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by fnyunj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know - fighting couples are better than those who don't connect at all - because there's still some sort of communication there. This is your classic dead-in-the-water relationship. Its not moving backward or forward - its just there. You have to realize for yourself if you want this to continue or not and discuss it with her. Because if you're content with the current situation and she is as well - what happens when either of you find someone else?
2007-12-05 18:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must honor your wedding vows. Do what ever you have to, to make your marriage better. Treat your wife like you want to be treated. Be kind, caring, sharing, giving, tolerant, patient, understanding, selfless, have unconditional love, slow to anger and quick to forgive.
God says you are to treat your wife as a fragile vessel filled with fine wine.
Buy her roses, take her out to a nice dinner at a candle light restaurant. Hire a sitter and take her out for a weekend in a nice hotel with a hot tub in the room. Wine, dine and romance her.
2007-12-05 18:21:43 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
never too late if both of u are interested in making it work. get a babysitter and go out spice things up. surprise her. if need be see a counsler. be positive with her. bring home lil gifts or flowers. take her to a play or amovie good luck. dont give up yet...u have a child with her
2007-12-05 18:15:21 · answer #8 · answered by coookies 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People don't fall out of love. If feelings fade, it's because the bond was never strong enough (not really in love). You need to communicate every day and express yourselves more. Assumption can eventually lead to resentment.
2007-12-05 18:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you both have to try... if you try and she does'nt it'll be worthless. talk to her and tell her how you feel, if she feel's like its over it best to start thinking about divorce.. if she agrees with you give it your all.. good luck!
2007-12-05 18:15:34 · answer #10 · answered by maria 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋