being lied to and trust issues?

Question

i was in this relationship with a guy that had problems with underage drinking and drug use. he'd get high on a regular basis and then mess around with me. So i told him if he didn't give up drugs we won't even be friends. We wound up becoming best friends. A few weeks ago i was told by one of my friends that he had told her he had been doing drugs again so i confronted him about it and he told me he did but it was a "one time thing". So as if i didn't have trust issues with him before now he's breaking promises. it took me about 2 weeks to begin to believe he was telling the truth. So today the friend that told me about him starting up drugs again told me that this weekend he did again. I confronted him about it again and he told me he didn't. I don't know who i should believe. He's broken promises, lied to my face, and abused me before. And my friend was right the first time. I don't know who to believe. You always want to be the girl he'll change for. I don't think he'd give them up

he's one of the nasty drunks that assaults people and then doesn't remember what he did the next day. This isn't the first time this has happened. I'm just wondering what you'd do in this situation

Answer 1

Honey listen, if he is not respecting himself how do you expect him to respect you? He is obviously not understanding what he is putting you through. You need to tell him that this lifestyle is not for you and you want a better life. This guy is in need of a rehab, he can't quit on his own. If he lied to you before more than likely he's doing it again. It just he is getting better at lying to you. Follow you first instinct and follow your heart. Don't think that you can change him. Change comes from with in. He's got to want it. Sometimes some people have to hit rock bottom before they can see they need to change. All you can do for now is pray for him and hope that he changes. Don't keep yourself in this situation because its not healthy for you either. Good Luck and Good Bless

Answer 2

If i were you, id get very angry and have a serious talk with him. Yell if i'd have to. Tell him that if he doesnt come clean about everything, i wouldn't want to be friends with him. I know it sounds terrible, but if you think he's lying to you about it, then you do have a reason to be harsh. Say it and mean it. If he was really good friends with you, you shouldve had a bigger influence on him. If he really feels like you're a good friend, at least he'd feel guilty and it would have an impact on his conscience.

Answer 3

You cannot EVER trust an addict... at least not while the addiction is active. He will say anything to get people to either leave him alone or help him get his next fix.
This guy does not realize he has a problem.
Move on.
Maybe he will grow up sometime later.
You can find better people to hang out with.

Answer 4

Don't trust him. He is trying to save face with you in order not to lose your friendship. Whatever you do, do not go out with anyone that hits.