I loved my stepdaughter. Her father wasn’t in the picture because of a selfish mother who was abused as a child and went through guys like water. I was just 100 on the list. She called me daddy. Her real father was no where to be found. However because I have 2 children from a previous marriage I have been raped by the law system financially. I want to be in the my stepdaughter’s life but don’t have the resources left if the courts decide I was acting as a father and have to pay child support to her mom. I already pay for my 2 and can barely afford to live but I love my stepdaughter and want to be in her life but can’t be made responsible for her like her real dad should because financially I’d be living on the streets if I had to support my stepdaughter. I miss her so much. I’m caught between a crazy law system and what I feel. What should I do? I’m the only dad she has ever known. If I throw caution to the wind I could get screwed by the court system saying I acted as the father so I should pay but I can’t live if have to support her and my two biological kids. She needs a father and I was it. I want to be able to live ok financially and still be a part of my stepdaughters life. Any advice? Should I give her a Christmas present and tell her her daddy (which is me in defacto) will always be there for her or just forget it because if the courts find me liable I can’t take care of any of them given my financial situation. It’s heartbreaking.
2007-12-05 15:10:32 · 9 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow!! There should be more men like you in the world. Definately try to seek legal counsel in this matter. Best of luck to you.
2007-12-05 15:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The only way that you can be held legally responsible for her child support is if you had adopted her. If you didn't then there is no way that you can be forced to pay child support for a child that is not yours! If your ex is trying to do this she will lose. She is eligible for AFDC which is aid to financially dependent children. This is where the state will give her a monthly check for her support. The state will be reimbursed by the biological father through Income Deduction Order and his income tax return. They will also pay for an attorney to set up future child support payments. She only needs to go to her local child support office and start the paperwork. So you may inform your ex of her options and as for your stepdaughter its looks like she has a Christmas present coming! I know this to be true in Florida from personal experience however you may consult an attorney about this. Usually consults are free so it can't hurt to ask. Since I don't know what state you live in. Good Luck and Merry Christmas Dad. I only wish that my husband felt the same way you do about his stepson (my son). God Bless You!
2007-12-05 15:48:58 · answer #2 · answered by Sylvia C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically yes you are liable, and more than that I think morally/ethically your are liable as well?
If the mother dropped dead tomorrow would you take full custody? Would you find a way to make it work?
Your step-daughter needs you around. All your children do, and need you financial support -however you can only do what you can and I wish the courts were more reasonable.
Do you think the "mom" would split custody 50/50 then there is generally no child support I believe?
Ultimately though all local laws are different and you won't know what may happen until you speak to a lawyer. There are often lots of orgs to help dads fight for their rights. Try to find one.
2007-12-05 15:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hunny it's nice you want to be there for her because her mother is lacking , but in Australian court's step parents are a non-entity , they dont exist in a court of law , maybe ring your local legal aid office , I doubt a judge would force you to pay child support for her but only way your going to find out is seek legal advice.
She would love a christmas present from you , dont stop being her daddy just because of her mother.
Good luck.
2007-12-05 16:01:03 · answer #4 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself what is most important..If you really want your stepdaughter in your life....You had better start looking for a higher paying job.....I honestly think that would be the right thing to do...being that you are her father in every way that counts as she is your daughter...
2007-12-05 15:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you can be held accountable for child support for still having contact with her.It is the responsibility of the natural Father to pay that.You go ahead and love that child and things will work out for you.Good Luck and God bless you and yours
2007-12-05 15:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by wanna know 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I absolutely agree...............speak to a lawyer before doing anything. Loving a child is impossible to just quit. Children also know that whoever is there for them is the father, not the sperm donor. Pray about this situation.........if it is meant to be, God will open a door for you.
2007-12-05 15:28:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask an attorney. Laws vary from state to state. Besides, seeking any sort of legal advise on here is foolish.
Good luck.
2007-12-05 15:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ohhh my havnt you got yourself in a pickle ?.............. you better start looking for a better paying job............. either that or really you cant be forced to pay any thing if your not her real dad.............. but if you want her in your life i sugest getting a better paying job...good luck
2007-12-05 15:19:31 · answer #9 · answered by jess 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋