If you were abducted by space aliens, how would you escape?

Question

This is just a thought excercise. There is not right or wrong answer. Best story gets best answer.

Answer 1

I'd give them the name of one of my favorite movie stars as my own. As they subtly asked me questions - wanting to get as much info as possible, I'd start speaking in Spani-Tex/Advanced gibberish ( for example: " I am going to kick your space alien ***" = " Ya'll argh bueno bitchachas, haveya suma nachachos.")

Then as they try to decipher it, I will say "I need to pee" in perfect english.

At this point they'll send one of the dumber ones to take me to the bathroom.


Then I'll spit in his eye for abducting me, and eat his brains.
I shall then attempt to flush myself out of the ship...

Answer 2

If I were abducted by space aliens, I would escape by staying with them. Then I could help them come back and do a shake up. Man would Washington ever catch hell, the Capital and White House would be buried in a layer of crap two miles deep. They love dealing in it so much, they have been forcing it on the people for years. For every trurh, 10,000,000 lies to cover it up. Headline News; Washington buried in _ _ _ _ for months, everytime they see day light another load is dropped by Alian space craft. Saying the least, something in Washington smells. The smell is sending shock waves across the Nation, and the people are getting feed up with Washington doing nothing. Let's see you lie your way out off this one suckers. .

Answer 3

I wouldn't try to escape at first. I would realize that this is the greatest discovery in modern, possibly ALL, history and I would collect as much information as possible to verify my story, concrete material evidence if available.

Having collected as much information and alien artifacts as I could, I would attempt to convince our little buddies that while we have an interesting planet and are a fascinating species in our own right, both our species would be better off with mutual cooperation, and abducting human beings is universally regarded as a very hostile act.

I would give them the benefit of the doubt if they had landed in Iran over the past 30 years of course.

If that bit of diplomacy failed to persuade them, and had reason to believe they weren't going to release me unharmed, having already discovered their greatest weaknesses, I would use all the force and firepower at my command to extricate myself and if nothing else go out in a blaze of glory. Hopefully my piloting skills are...ah hell...of COURSE my piloting skills are up to the task!

Answer 4

If i was getting probed I would poke them in their huge eyes with whaterver I have available at the time (Use your imagination). Use my brand new James Bond laser watch to cut my self lose, give my good friend Chuck Norris on his cell phone who instantly appears and kicks some Alien a** then cruise around with me and chuck drinking some mountain dew and picking up the hotties.

Answer 5

Call Scotty and get him to beam me out of there. Or try the Kirk approach, flirt with one of the females, then steal the keys off her belt, or some type of thing, then steal an escape pod.

Answer 6

The exact same way I did the last time.
I jumped into an escape pod and went through a wormhole!

Answer 7

Play Slim Whitman songs until their heads explode.

Answer 8

You assume that I would wish to escape from them. What I have always wished to escape from, is humanity.

Answer 9

depends on the accommodations a road trip thru the stars could be a blast

Answer 10

Who says I would want to.I would first find out about there country.I would lie and tell them I have to go pee,If wanted to escape.